As the Years going by… NM

Thursday, September 6th, 2018

Coming down the Mountain, just a few miles from home.

“Wrinkles mean you laughed, grey hair means you cared and scars mean you lived!”

As the Years go by, the “tic tac” of the clock getting a bit louder, I realize the increasing importance of “living in the moment”. One of the hardest aspect of Life. From birth as I have personally experienced it, the physical future Life span is always uncertain contrary to popular beliefs. We are never in control. What we control is “now”, this very moment. Each letter typed on this page for example is a “tic” followed by a “tac” and on and on. The future with the years passing, mainly because our internal machine wears out, is even less uncertain than ever and so why let these present moments escape when such future is never a present reality but either intentional or phenomenal conscienceness attributes merely in our thoughts.

Hopefully Freedom is inserted amongst these years. I also realize it takes a certain amount of money to gain that freedom. The ability to pay for a home, a car, that percentage of dollars due after medical procedures not covered by any form of insurance, food, medication, utilities, insurances and more. Sometimes I wonder if we will ever be charged for just breathing our air! Those dollars come in through one door not often wide open enough but they sure move on to their next journey through the exit door seemingly always open. They never bothered even putting a lock and handle on that one. None of this still means that we are in control. It only means if fortunate enough to taste a slice of that freedom most of us have been seeking throughout all our Life, the hammer needs to drop while labeled “present”. Maybe its noise and pounding will wake us up and make us realize that trying to transport ourselves to an oncoming afternoon or a distant tomorrow is futile.

Yet, within our intentional conscienceness, planning? thinking? wanting? they are also all a must if we want to leave our ignition on and set our gear to drive. Ironically the present is the reason why we paddle so hard towards the time point we have marked its coordinates, however unstable as the waves of Life keeps moving it every which way sometimes making us loose hope, determination while that straight path suddenly looks upon us with way too many curves. So we keep adjusting our route, rethinking it all quite too often, not often enough though realizing that “those present moments” have indeed escaped us to never come back, the one physical impossibility until the day a time machine is invented! It is so hard to plant ourselves into the moment. Especially when they are peaceful, unemcombered from outside interferences, joyful and tasteful. We think too hard wanting with too much effort those next moments being even better and better. They will be if we let it rest. How can we enjoy aspects that have yet to happen? Those are the moments we should wear a smile with much content. Content as in happiness of our then now as again, the happiness of our future runs on a different fuel its octane so uncertain and unfiltered.

As the years gone by considering of all the above “if not now, when?” has a ring to it stronger than ever. It is a fact that has reached its maturity without “maybes” and doubtfullness. It is a serious true to form question I am lately asking myself more often than ever. Its time has come… It is here, it is “now”. It is the present balance between the physical ability and the “wants”, not the “needs”. They are the capricious thoughts almost childish while not thinking too much about their negative consequences but the smile, that childish smile it puts on our faces. It is almost time, it is time to live illogically painting our desires on that daily canvas, maybe even both sides! It is a freedom of speech never attained before because… who truly cares?… anymore! Speaking your mind, something I have always done to a certain degree, now more than ever, is so liberating. There is no malice, darts or spikes towards others, only a personal truthfulness which does demand respect as I myself respect others, a fact, an aspect which would make this World so much more peaceful and happy.

We are more often than not the product of our phenomenal consciousness. Can we help it if we fall ill? A headache? All comes from within. The phenomenal is the major culprit us not being in charge as we do try and try using our intentional consciousness to get better, to heal but it is also another culprit used to put in motion what we “want” and yes, “need”. Once again a balance is needed. Always that scale! Always. A bit of weight here, a bit on the other side and hope for the best. The storms blows us out of contention sometimes. Physically and mentally leaving us with an unconscience so hard to escape until blue skies once again sunny and all calm shine on us as we wait and wait. Isn’t Life just wonderful?… I say it “without” sarcasm the headline in bold letters always being “It is what it is”…

Stay well, Ara.

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