A pause… for now. NM

Monday, July 30th, 2018

“It’s not only moving that creates new starting points. Sometimes all it takes is a subtle shift in perspective, an opening of the mind, an intentional pause and reset, or a new route to start to see new options and new possibilities”
~ Kristin Armstrong ~

A painting of Spirit gifted by a good Friend. It is on my wall as a constant reminder of my Buddy.

I must have said and written “Stay well” over a million times. It is not to me and never has been since I have myself read it somewhere else [I forgot where!] just a “Hi” or a “Goodbye” or one of those phrases you know now automatically being asked [especially at the Dr’s Office, (really?)] “how are you?”. I mean it to every single individual when I say or write “Stay well”. I try to project my hopes, my desires, all my well being feelings that “they will be well”. And by the way, at the Dr’s office I do reply “if I was well I would not be here…”. Same at the Pharmacy… And why is so? Because simply I really care. Nothing to do with Religion, one’s Sexuality, Color, Politics [especially], poor or rich and all in between. I really care. My care has turned “naive” as I do know that the World even if it was for just a millisecond will not be 100% well. Yet, as adopting “one dog at the time”, I can only pass on my “Stay well” to others one at the time trying to plant one of those good seeds with an abondance of multicolor flowers.

Added some colors in the kitchen…

I have been played a few times as most of you have, I like to say the bad word but I won’t, letting you only imagine it. I learned to not see in white or black anymore but living on my stage with the many gray areas which are all in between. There are so many principles I cherish and must say “proud” to have acquired them throughout the years. Honesty, respect, trust amongst many others. I find Life to be so simple when using those attributes. If I mess up, well, I will tell that person that I messed up followed of course by my sincere apologies. We are responsible and must be as such of our actions. It is all too easy to always blame the next person. We learn while messing up! Hopefully just once especially if the lesson is a costly one. Guilty here for sure to not have learned sometimes the first time but they will not be a third time I can assure you. All this brings me to say that I am a trustworthy person and a hand shake is still and always has been gold to me, better than any documents an Attorney could prepare and notarize. Not long ago when I found out that through the cracks quite some dispespect and dishonesty had slipped through and stared at me I told myself I was going to change. I always trusted someone until proof of the contrary and now I was going to distrust everybody until proof of contrary. But I can’t do it… I don’t want to change… Change will be bring too much darkness to these days and I am happy even though vulnerable with the decision to stay as I am.

Never thought I would fall in Love with another dog!

As detached I have become from Social Media, as so many of my Friends also have while we all now navigate on a clean slate defunct from I call it the interminable garbage that populate their pages, I still feel there is a brouhaha within our society. Some screams, insults and so much more. Is there a need for all of this or is it just how society is ending up being wired? Could this be the decline of such Society? Are people not “well” anymore? I don’t try to find an answer while selfishly [maybe?] I try myself to stay well. To stay well even throughout these life’s changes I am finally coming to terms with and embracing. I am done with the road full time. Spirit and I have had a good run, it has been an incredible therapy and left with the morsels of short term camping and even only day rides while we come back home in the evening our Mountains being so close. It has taken one year to accept that fact and I now embrace it. Enjoy it as what is there to not enjoy?

I call her toy “Zoey Jr”!

These pages have been left unwritten for a while now. A few, and I “Thank them”, have emailed me asking me if everything was alright. I have appreciated their concern and care. I do continue writing most every day. It is quite a therapy as it has been for the past almost 13 years now. Yet, this Journal will see a pause in the coming weeks, months maybe? If asked why as I even ask myself that question I have no answer! I don’t know why. It just is. Maybe because of forging a better path? Maybe because of truthfully realizing more than ever that the ones I loved so much are now gone? I don’t know. I need to straighten up and I must do it quietly, as quietly as every day passing by.

A good shake to stir things up…

I have no doubt that Lance is still watching over me maybe with Spirit on his side having finally met. It is a good feeling while I realize that none of this would have happened without him. Everything has fallen in place as it should be. A nice home in a quiet neighborhood, the camper and “Old Faithful” easily sold replaced by two cars, one for paved roads and one for those Forest roads while I feel them being a bit of a “luxury”, but as a couple Friends said, “if not now, when?”. All services near by and as much as I miss my Buddy Spirit, having Zoey cross my path. Zoey, the most lovable dog I have ever met! Litteraly my shadow never further than two feet away from me. This is all such crazy stuff how it all happened including the sale of The Oasis. Litteraly. One needs to have faith in Life, one of the lessons learned and will continue learning more of them for sure.

The “look”…

So until next time… Stay well.

Ara and Zoey
[R.I.P. Spirit]

 

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23 Responses to “A pause… for now. NM”

  1. Kelly Says:

    I just love Zoey so much. Dogs are so joyful and faithful. Their love knows no bounds.
    I hope too for your body and soul to be well. I don’t often comment on here or FB, but always appreciate your writings.
    Kelly,Ontario Canada

  2. Ara & Spirit Says:

    Thank You Kelly. Your comment is appreciated. Stay well. Ara and Zoey

  3. Don McGilvray Says:

    Ara~ I am so happy for you, having had the excellent fortune to find and bond with Zoey! It is a gift of love that cannot be anticipated, but that is so special when it happens… My own loving canine friend, Chinook, is sitting just an ear scratch away as I type this!

    I was so happy and relieved to find this new post a few minutes ago, as I also had begun to worry about your silence online… Good to read that things are progressing nicely for you now!

    I really like the touches of color you have added in the kitchen! Goes nicely with the colorful dishes you so expertly prepare!

    Take care, my friend…
    Don

  4. Barney Ward Says:

    WOW you are one very lucky man to have gotten to have two such wonderful pups as your best friends. Congratulations.

  5. judith Says:

    OK then. I will miss your photographs and words, and seeing how Zoey progresses. Like you, I’m old. But still here, so hope that you get a “change of heart ” or whatever it is that leads/has led you to take the trouble to post here. Best wishes. And shall I say it, stay well.

  6. Don in Okla. Says:

    Looks like you have a real friend in Zoey. So glad you all found each other. What a treasure!! I have my two dog buddies and several cats to keep me company. So glad to have them.
    Take care and “stay well”!
    Don in Okla.

  7. Nicky Says:

    Every day I check to see if you’ve written here,have loved following your story. If someone disappointed or hurt you, I’m sad for you. I’ll miss finding new posts from you if there aren’t more for a few months. Thanks, I have stayed well, you do the same,okay?

  8. Nicky Says:

    Yesterday I tried to comment and don’t know if it worked and is being held in moderation for your approval, or if it just didn’t publish. I will try again now just to be sure you find a note from me. I cannot tell from what you have written if someone you trusted disappointed or hurt you. If so, I wish that hadn’t happened to you. Should you decide not to write here for a few months I will miss you. I check to see if you have written a new post quite often, and have so enjoyed following your story. I have indeed stayed well, thank you for wanting that to be true. Stay well, and I wish you happiness, joy, good health and continued delight with Zoey.

  9. Ara & Spirit Says:

    Thanks for writing Nicky and yes, both of your comments are here. My writing must be clear and you also seem to read between the lines. It is not the main reason but there has been and taken place a couple Friendships that have to put it mildly dissipated in not a very nice fashion which have startled me to tell you the truth while I still daily wonder how such can happen. One being a ten plus years close Friendship. Are they the sign of times while society putting some on a such different path that Friendship has no more value replaced by? I don’t know and only try to move on… Sad I must say. Maybe the reason of my Love for dogs?!!! Maybe I will some day find the answer. In the meantime you Stay well and in touch. Ara and Zoey.

  10. Charlie Says:

    Man when you told me hit the kitchen with color you weren’t kidding! LOL
    Picture of Spirit looks good.
    God bless for Zoey being available in your time of need

  11. Ara & Spirit Says:

    Yes! Make sure you both bring your sunglasses next time you stop by…

  12. Nancy Says:

    I have been burned by trusting, as well, but I will continue to trust, Ara. I’m so glad you found Zoey. I’m in the same situation, trying to learn to live with health limitations. My back has been my weak point and has never improved since surgery in 2013–really since 2010…actually brought on a lot of other problems, but won’t bore you or myself with details. It’s just tough accepting. Cried when I sold the trailer. Cried when I sold my truck. Nice little car that I can get into easier, but it’s not my noisy old diesel truck! My wandering days are over and I HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT.

    I now have Bogey (my son’s dog) living with me. I call him the “velcro dog” as he has to be touching me when ever I am with him. I go back and forth between my house and my daughter’s house (couches, really) to take care of my daughter’s pup, Jonah. He’s been a very easy puppy. He’s huge, but so gentle and laid back. So I give them a couple of hours at a time because my daughter’s hours are unpredictable as she’s an anesthetist and my son travels. I can’t have them together because Bogey is not friendly with other dogs, and Jonah being a puppy wants to play all the time. I tried it for a little while, but I couldn’t handle it with my back. I’ll never stop missing my Lizzie and Jack–just brought tears just typing their names. People tend to put a time limit on grief, but my heart remains broken without Rich.

    Keep on trusting, Ara, and BE WELL.

  13. John and Sharon Says:

    Your writtings will be missed… don’t stay away too long!

  14. SANDRA Says:

    Oh I always look forward to your posts, warm, kind, strogng words, photos and emotions. Having just lost my best friend, my rock, my husband – I too feel lost, untethered and unsure of my path. Life does throw us curve balls. Be Well and know that so many send you these wishes.

  15. curvyroads Says:

    I am sorry that you have been disappointed, but I hope that you can forgive and forget, eventually, and keep sharing your insights here, Ara. I don’t comment much (or ever) but wanted to share my good wishes and hope that you come back to write for us sooner rather than later. Peace.

  16. Jules Says:

    This guy lives in Timberon. http://www.simplelivingandsimpletravel.com/. His name is Sebastian — maybe you have heard of him? He has had some health issues as well, is about your age, and you both seem to be cut from the same cloth. Maybe you two can meet and commiserate. I met him at Oliver Lee State Park when I was living in Alamogordo — boy I sure do miss those mountains! Stay well.

  17. Ara & Spirit Says:

    Thanks for the information. I sent him an email. Will see if he replies. He lives about 30 miles from us. And yes, those mountains are our savior! I would have never moved here if those mountains were not present. Exploring those roads one at the time! Stay well. Ara and Zoey.

  18. Ara & Spirit Says:

    Thank you for writing. Disappointment is hard to cope with but the reality is that it is too late to change as also I would not want to live as a distrustful person. We take our chances and hope for the best always. Have a great day and stay well. Ara and Zoey.

  19. Ara & Spirit Says:

    So truly sorry to read about your loss. It is always as a pillar holding us up suddenly crumbles and we have to pick up the pieces and rebuild somehow with what we have left. The curve balls often are too many but Stay strong, one step at the time, one foot in front of the other and so on. Sending you as best wishes as possible. Ara and Zoey.

  20. Ara & Spirit Says:

    You have been in touch for a long time now! We won’t stay away too long… Too many good souls around us. Stay well. Ara and Zoey.

  21. Jen Chambers Says:

    Ara –

    I’ll miss your writing as I check everyday for a new posting. I hope you find what you are looking for during your break from social media.

  22. skiJ Says:

    Dear Ara ( – and Spirit and Zoey ) …
    I have admired and I have respected your writing and your photos for, now, almost a decade…
    I trust you will weather the disappointment you are facing from damaged and broken trust – I have come to believe it is part of life. …

    Congratulations on finding Zoey !
    I was worried for you…
    ‘Blue’s final lesson to me was the great dogs leave (Just) before we cannot live without them ( I would have gladly gone with ‘Blue’ ) …

    . . .so Carry ON ! Ara ! !! I will look to find you Here(,) down the road !

    respectfully… tj

  23. Ara & Spirit Says:

    Thank You! Yes, it is part of Life for sure. Better now…

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