Which way will the wind blow? CO
Monday, June 10th, 2013Paragraphs of Daily Thoughts and much Mental Therapy. Photos. Sometimes Videos. Published Weekly or so.
"I am responsible for what I say. I am not responsible for what you understand"
"I love my mom as you did yours, yet having said that, once you get her ashes Home it will be time to continue to live your life and not dwell too much on times past, yet don’t forget them. You know she wishes that. Let it all go and take advantage of the years we all have left remaining, cherish the moments you had and remember them, but also let them go…"
~ Doug Hayduk ~
This morning was a new day. No, it is a "new day". New all. It takes again words send by a Friend to wake me up, to stop feeling miserable toward an outcome which will happen, just not when "I want it". So be it. I had felt aging by ten years in ten days, sick to my stomach, sleepless nights, not a smile on my face. Mind over matter this could have not continued too long without in turn erasing my own self from it all. I cannot let that happen. We "Human Beings" are so complex. Truly an amazing fact when I can look back at some wasted days.
I am ahead in my thoughts. Thinking what we will do when I return back to Colorado and once again reunited with Spirit rolling down the roads. I feel suddenly as I need a purpose though, as I call it "something different", something to accomplish. More than previously. Maybe a Documentary Video going back to the spaces we have been. Maybe some private dinners with a presentation of our Life on the Road, maybe having a few others join us at times facilitating, spreading the then will be present we encounter such as camping, cooking, riding and photography. Sharing on a different level.
I am trying to ignore the couple comments I received from what I call more "hate mail" toward my own writing of my own Mother passing away. I don’t understand such. Maybe I do, maybe I just don’t want to jump to a sad conclusion that some "Human Beings" have truly an Evil aspect. These are my pages, they are often as these present times far from being entertaining, yet, they are my discussions with my own self.
The unpaved roads, the beautiful sceneries, sunrises and sunsets again will face us soon and lift the times to come for us to again adapt toward a future present. In the meantime, Spirit in Colorado Springs, myself in Munich for another week, we are both trying the best we can with what we have. The apartment has been given up. Sad about it’s contents as it could not be rented furnished and all remains behind to make up for the sum a Company wanted to charge to dispose of it. Years of memories vanished. All would have been different back Home. I would have tried most likely to store some items, to sell others. It has not been the case here and for the last time I shut that door I will never see it’s contents again. One never knows upcoming turns of events.
This time around I am with good Friends about an hour away from Munich. They lighten up my Spirits through conversations and much food and more food. The quality of the ingredients here is so incredible. We even went out wandering through an open air Market through the rain [has not stopped 24/7!] and the unpasteurized cheeses, the meats smoked, the roasted almonds and nuts of all sorts, vegetables, fruit, everything was so much of a long time unseen quality and taste that I had missed from my own previous years living in Europe.
Finally the Sun comes out this morning for maybe an hour as I take advantage to go visit the little Church up the hill. Every little Village like this one has a Church. I cross the field, a little bridge over a spring, up the hill but the Church was locked. Another modern convenience I think, "locks". What happened to the days when all were open and welcoming at any time of the day or night. We know the answer. Oh! well. It would have been nice to sit and think a bit more within those walls. Might have calmed down my emotions as already Tuesday is here and there is no movement within the Registrar’s Office regarding my Mother’s Ashes and an ‘International Certificate of Death". I try to stay positive but the moments are weighing on me as I cannot help feeling I will have to return one more time and will be leaving empty handed. Another Church in Munich made up for it.
Days have passed. Two months shy of four days. Why do I feel a battle has been won! It should not have been one. The compassion from behind the many desks I dealt with has vanished. So has consideration, sympathy. I felt as I have been dealing with a few used car salesman. Maybe I have not caught up with today’s mainline society’s syndrome. And will not. Yet, Karma in the form of so much help and wisdom from my Friends filled these past possible moments, those trying times when daily the roller coaster edged it’s way on the taken path.
I have not written much these days as I now write this on the plane throughout the last leg of this Journey towards Colorado Springs to be soon reunited with Spirit. It was every day all the way to the last afternoon, translations, my Friend driving up to 300 kilometers on Friday, meetings, scanning forms, e mails, all awaiting replies! Up and down for finally the last message "it is a go".
I will need a few days to regroup, a few extra hours and many extra hugs from Spirit. I realized that we have ridden 4 miles in two months. I must say and admit to the fact of truly enjoying my Friend’s Home. Their incredible Hospitality, food, company and help. Karen, Udo, Christoph and Lydia. Thank You my Friends, this would have not happened without you.
![Breakfast in Munich [original]](http://theoasisofmysoul.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/Breakfast-in-Munich-original.jpg "Breakfast in Munich")
Stay well,
Ara and Spirit
June 10th, 2013 at 7:22 am
welcome back Ara, and again, thanks for sharing~
June 10th, 2013 at 10:27 am
Welcome home.
June 10th, 2013 at 12:28 pm
Ara,
All those pictures you posted from your stay in Gabelbach with the Eraths bring back many fond memories of times I have spent with them. I don’t think you could have found finer people to stay with while you were dealing with the bureaucracy.
Looking forward to seeing you and Spirit when you are in Kansas City.
Ken
June 11th, 2013 at 4:18 am
Safe Travels my friend.
June 11th, 2013 at 9:37 am
Dear Ara,
Thank you for taking your wonderful photos of your trip to Munich, sights during your stay, lovely friends who took care of you. Now may you be blessed with peace after attending to your Mother in her illness and passing with faithfulness of a most loving son. Safe travels with your faithful buddy as your loyal friends look forward to welcoming you home and traveling with you on your next adventures.
Pam, Randy & Natasha
June 11th, 2013 at 9:58 am
Good to see you are back!! Take care.
June 11th, 2013 at 1:51 pm
Bonsoir Ara,
Vous ne me connaissez pas, mais moi je vous connais car je suis une amie arménienne de votre maman et elle m´a beaucoup parlé de vous.Elle vous adorait et attendait tous les week-end votre coup de fil.Je la connaissais depuis environ 23 ans,c´était une femme admirable.Sa disparition a été un choc pour moi et Parize.Mais c´est vrai que depuis la perte de Lance,elle n´était plus la même.On la voyait diminuer et se replier sur elle-même.Elle a eu la chance d´avoir un fils comme vous.J´ai été trés bouleversée en lisant votre blog.Dommage qu´on n´ait pas pu se voir lors de votre séjour á Munich,j´aurais aimé faire votre connaissance.
Lance et Manouche veillent sur vous et vous donnent la force de continuer avec Spirit.
sincére amitié
Béatrice ( Mimi en Allemagne )
June 11th, 2013 at 2:38 pm
So glad this portion of your journey is now in the past. I know there are a few things you still must do but at least it will be on your terms and not with some government red tape tying you up in knots. Hopefully the next few months will find you behind a boulder somewhere enjoying gorgeous sunsets and/or sunrises. Your “new” friends have won a place in my heart, too, for being there for you when you most needed someone’s help. Hugs! Ear scritches for Spirit, too!
June 12th, 2013 at 7:00 am
Ara –
Write, write and write some more. To hell with the hate mail, you have many more fans than naysayers. I look forward to reading your blog every week and find peace in your words and your willingness to share your journey in life.
Jen
June 13th, 2013 at 5:11 pm
When I had to close the door on my dad’s house I held the door knob for about a minute. I had made the last walk though the house, picked up a Texaco jacket that was missed. Daddy had spent 33 years with Texaco. After letting go of the handle, I walked to the truck, drove to the realtor’s office and signed the papers. Daddy had been gone for almost a year, but this was the final act to close his business. As I pulled out of the driveway the new owners moving van was at the end of the street waiting for the keys.
He was gone. As a full grown man of 53 at the time and my brother 54 we were alone. A wide gulf separates my brother from myself as he is in the swamps of Houston longing for the Llano Estacado while I am glad to be here.
I guess there is something in our DNA that allows the memories to change and some fade. I miss my daddy, but over three years have passed. I would not wish him back because of the pain he was in the last few months of his life. To do so would be selfish on my part. He passed quietly with my brother and I with him. I carried him to my home and there he rests. I go by the cemetery only every two or three months now. I spruce up around the headstone and put up a flag every Memorial and Veterans day. There are a few other Veterans that no one changes the flags and that has become my job.
I honor his memory. But the hole of grief and sadness is gone.
Welcome back home. Via con dios.
June 17th, 2013 at 7:33 pm
Thank you Curtis. Words of yours to read over a few times for sure. Stay well and hopefully when we come East our path will cross. Ara and Spirit.
June 17th, 2013 at 7:37 pm
Thank You Jennifer. Yes, I figured they are “my pages”. Just so hurtful at times. Beyond understanding. You stay well. We try. Ara and Spirit.
June 17th, 2013 at 7:39 pm
Ah! my good and true Friend. The truth is none would have happened without Karen and Udo. It is unreal how far they have gone out of their way. There are some incredible people out there. So fortunate we get to meet some like you two. Talk soon. Ara and Spirit.
June 17th, 2013 at 7:40 pm
Thank You always. Maybe our paths will again meet. It would be real nice. Let us know if ever near by. Our buddies need the play time, as we do. You all stay well. Ara and Spirit.
June 17th, 2013 at 7:41 pm
Thank You. Stay well. Ara and Spirit.
June 17th, 2013 at 7:42 pm
None finer Ken. It was to be to just spend a week with them, it turned out none of the bureaucracy could have happened without them running me around to no end. See you this summer? Stay well. Ara and Spirit.
June 17th, 2013 at 7:42 pm
Welcome home you too… right? Ara and Spirit.
June 17th, 2013 at 7:43 pm
Thank You always Scruffy. Stay well. Ara and Spirit.
June 21st, 2013 at 1:33 pm
Feel pity for those who feel it’s necessary to send hate mail. The only one you need to impress is Spirit. He accepts you for who you are, as do I. Hugs to Spirit. Sure wish I could have seen the reunion. Peace, Ara. Welcome home.