Archive for September, 2017

The curse of aging! NM, [White Sand Dunes]

Friday, September 22nd, 2017

Please email me directly [icon above] for “autographed” International shipping rates or multiple orders.

White Sand Dunes, NM-11 xxx

"I never disturb myself from the relativity of the consequences putting my thoughts into words."

White Sand Dunes, NM-12 xxx

I don’t consider myself the most intelligent or smart person but these years, especially these last ones, have filled me with a higher level of awareness and a delicate approach to Life containing all the principles taught to me. Yet, I never "know" and "apply" enough. “Awareness”, too much of it seems at times showing it face a an undesirable curse.

White Sand Dunes, NM-13

I realized today that I have shamefully been entertaining a "self pity" party! I glance at other’s stages, whether it is strangers coming back to what is left of their homes after the hurricanes, a Friend fighting Cancer while trying to rebuild her path she was and is still on planning her ride around the world, another Friend busy in East Texas reuniting the hundreds of dogs and cats with their owners while lost in these past turmoils. An email from another Friend I had not heard of for a while. Actually a Friend of his wrote it as he had a stroke, lost the ability to type and had to have one of his legs amputated.

White Sand Dunes, NM-16 xxxx 

White Sand Dunes, NM-2 xxx

A slap or two is often not a bad thing. It wakes me up, it has happened a few times before. It propels me, as so many others do, forward chipping away the hard rock of Life. I almost feel ashamed for this "party" now vanishing even if my own pain is very real but have to as they say "man up" and move forward. That is the answer of my previous question "what is the meaning of Life?".

White Sand Dunes, NM-4 xxx 

I follow a few who now are on the road as we say. There is a spark in me which wishes it was us. I feel their photos I think more than any other urban bystander. I can almost smell their air surrounding them, feel the warmth of their sunsets and almost want to take refuge when I witness in their photos or videos Mother Nature’s anger. But it is not us. It is others as for now the roles are reversed. It will be us soon. I have no doubt as other pit stops have ended this one will also. There is no regrets being here. Only "thanks" as while the years passing have taken their toll, this home base is refreshing. It will always be a space we can retreat to. The concept that it is mine, ours, still often keeps me at times awake at night. Yet, no one is going to kick us out!

White Sand Dunes, NM-10 xxx

Some medical news have arrived through a CT scan and in a couple more days the neurosurgeon will give me more answers of my future. I was telling a Friend yesterday "you can now tell me that I have a screw loose". Yes I do! One of the two which hold my spine plate has loosened. Two discs, one above the plate and one below have moved, one considerably and they are both pinching my nerves, the ones going to the legs. I understand it could have been worse, all the way as an unthinkable scenario, the legs being paralyzed. So? Surgery again? Steroid shots are only a band aid especially if those discs continue moving.

White Sand Dunes, NM-7 xxx

But also the cardiologist is not happy with my stress test and next Tuesday is a heart catheterization. I had to look up the spelling of that one! I will be awake and we will be communicating as the little camera progresses through its route to the heart! No Google map needed here, I won’t be the driver only going for the ride and will discover if I need some restructuring. No "pity party" but trying times while I try for the mental aspect to not keep me awake at night.

White Sand Dunes, NM-18 xxx 

I have a strong faith in Life, the faith that all will somehow be corrected to attain once again a normal Life, whatever "normal" is! I found that faith a few years back while camping on the shores of the Oregon Coast when I bumped into a lonely camper who has had six brain surgeries. For those who have read our book you know the story. Since he could not drive his wife would drop him off and pick him up a week later. It was quite the meeting which taught me so much throughout our daily conversations. I remember it being a Fourth of July week and lucky for more than obviously one reason to have found a spot to pitch our tent.

White Sand Dunes, NM-6 xxx 

Our tent! I am in the midst in the mornings while I am still physically coherent at that time putting our camping gear in one of the storage sheds standing at the end of the driveway. Carrying the bags alone, their touch and even their smell lingering from past grounds takes me back to the thousands of miles we have covered. There is a bit of melancholy I must admit. All is due because of this vehicle, the body! I sure would give anything [or just about!] to bring back these past years. They will be back… I repeat over and over again….

White Sand Dunes, NM-20 xxx

White Sand Dunes, NM-21 xxxx

Stay well,
              Ara and Spirit