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On how to order “Freedom on Both Ends of the Leash” is below at the end of this page.
Thank You always for your support. It is a big help keeping us on the road or in this case helping the Doctors make a living!!!

"You are so poor, you only have money"

I cannot remember where I read or heard the above quote but it really striked me…

How tentative and delicate truly is Freedom? Ah! I, we, so much don’t do well idling. "Crazy" is the only word that comes to mind as the simplest things have become a loud cry of pain and I am personally so far from being a softie! But no one can hear me here besides Spirit. Spirit who knows something is wrong! Tomorrow is Ft Stockton and my MRI. Lucky me, our Friends up the road who are still here will take care of Spirit. Myself? Go the distance… roughly 120 miles each way. I will be driving, not riding. I have so much appreciated the feedback from so many and their own experiences related to sciatica and back pains, yet right now, nothing can be done until we have a concrete evidence of what is going on. No, there will not be electro magnetic shocks, silver thread lined earth grounded sheets, yoga, bicycle and the list goes on and on. I forget, hanging upside down. I cannot help thinking about the different scenarios which could present themselves. Silly and non constructive and yet, "could" be reality. All the way to hip replacement, back disc surgery, arthritis which will never be cured… Insane thoughts. I calm myself down, I keep the faith of Life in its higher note with a funny thought 
"If we can go to Mars… we sure should be able to take care of this!".

"Idling" is that word taking place right now as I think about others who do nothing. What do they do all day? I know… nothing! I need a manual for that! "The Art of doing Nothing" for the complete idiot series. Who knows, I might be able to write that book soon. That was the answer all along. I try to grab the substance of the day and right now cannot help noticing how slow the Sun is moving! The Sun is my clock. I even went to sleep before Sunset last night. Why not? I don’t have much patience for being on the Internet and one can only read so much. We do have Netflix! How about that. Send me some good titles… I have time. I had one more visit to one of our Doctors. He doesn’t know. Of course not till the results come in and Monday being a Holiday as I just found out, it will then be Tuesday. Maybe! Tuesday has come and the land line rang early. I had to listen to an apology. Someone forgot to do the hip MRI. Really? Can that be true? Seriously! It only means going back one more time.

There are all kinds of treatments out there I am finding out but we have to first know what is wrong! One Doctor decided to give me a prescription of narcotic pain pills which I tried to avoid until I could stand the pain anymore. Today I found out that it was the wrong decision. It took too long for the pain to subside just a bit and so I am trying now to keep it on an even keel. I shared that thought with what I thought was a Friend and I only got insulted that I am going to turn into an addict! Also seriously. How funny is that? Not in a ah!ah! way… Bad experiences from her own past probably makes her believe that everyone will be a drug addict when exposed to a remedy, a band aid as I call it, to excruciating pain. I keep the faith going, the patience, the thankfulness of many sharing their own solutions. Some people I guess just do not and can only see life through a peephole towards that narrow image of their own past bad experiences as those are bottled up and closed tightly not letting any more thoughts in. The ones that can express not everyone is alike. A deep I hope not permanent chip in their shoulder.

I avoid and do not "tell" anyone "what to do". I avoid the words "you should" and "do"… I instead use "you could…" or just share my own experiences. Share. Coming especially from one who I don’t know well, who does not know me well, it was a bit as a slap on the face. I don’t battle, I only express myself as in "really?" and walk away… I shut the door. I am not a counselor or have a red cross tattooed on my forehead. Selfish? I don’t have any other choices right now but to only take care of myself and Spirit. We are not here to change others, to be the psychiatrist with a couch near by and have others which sometimes we think are Friends lay on it and take on what one might think is the correct way to live and adhere to a Life we believe in. My own school doors are always open and my own lessons never stop.

Limping away yesterday as a good Friend came by as he does now a couple times a week to help me out with physical chores, I felt so odd asking him to fill my one gallon water jugs from a three gallon bigger jug just so I can handle our drinking and cooking water! How pathetic is that? The thoughts of my own for now declining physical shape leads me to start thinking about our freedom, the freedom everyone seeks, the one we all stare at, that word written in our mental state of mind at the end of the path we have embarked ourselves on, that rainbow of ours while we contemplate its colors as we try to keep them in harmony. How much freedom do we really have?

Our dependency on others, on Life’s gifts themselves is intense. We truly are never free. On this morning while barely able to walk I realize that fact, a fact that must have an explanation, one I am waiting for. Everything surrounding us is a wand which can so easily make its way into the spokes of Life and break down the momentum. All becomes a compromise with such a false sense of freedom. Everything! The more it is fixable, the better it is as we jump so quickly on the fix to again regain what we might think is a total freedom and eventually we figure it out, some of us do, how delicate that notion is. The mental freedom is so often obstructed by a past which replays its reel over and over to the point we forget to live the present moment. I think that is what happened with who I thought was my Friend. Probably did not even have the awareness that such past images are embedded and have not yet been erased while re-living an ugly past.

It is so easy to unleash our disappointment and direct it toward others while filled with self gratification and entitlement! It is almost a cartoon with one image of this almost monster like being, sending out ill words and more while across is this little Human Being with eyes and ears wide open wondering what is going on! I have learned what is going on… The hard way. No one learns the easy way. The chapters are endless and yet so many forget to turn the page… for the next one as all becomes tangled up and one’s mind and is just not large enough to keep it all in. The nearest "other" will get the blunt blow, that poor man or woman that was only minding their own business! That is when "really?’ comes in and quickly one should step away trying to avoid more blows whether intentional or not. I don’t like that cartoon but it is unfortunately a reality so many experience.

The visit to the spine neurologist surgeon [big title which matched his big expensive office!] did not go so well. L 2-3-4 are a bit messed up but after an X Ray, since the hip MRI is missing [remember? someone forgot…] he wants to send me to a hip Dr. I didn’t know every part of the body was so specialized! It is only a few inches away from the spinal cord. He seemed totally ignorant when it came to that hip. Or maybe… who knows! The downside? The soonest appointment available is not until June 18th! I even called myself and [yes!] begged for a closest time. So here we are, 18 more days of waiting. We will move to Midland on the 17th where some kind Friends have offered us shelter meaning bedroom, bathroom and all the comfort of a Home so we would not have to run 400 miles round trip. An act of such kindness, a first step for all to come together as it will soon.

Please read below about rates for International Shipping and outside the 48 States
The flat shipping rate for outside the 48 States or International is $15. Please e-mail me [“e-mail me” link above or here aragureghian@yahoo.com ] for those orders as you will have to get directly into our PayPal account bypassing the normal procedure. I will send you a bill to facilitate the transaction.

“Freedom on Both Ends of the Leash”, our written Book, is available autographed through us for $24.99 [$19.99 + $5 S&H, Continental 48 States] by clicking the photo links on top of this page. [PayPal accepting all cards]. It is also available through Amazon in paperback or as a Kindle download. All other electronic formats are also available.
You can also order from any Bookstore and Beemerboneyard.
If ordering more than one copy through us you will need to place each order separately or e-mail me.

Stay well.
              Ara and Spirit