The dreaded phone call. Texas.
Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013Paragraphs of Daily Thoughts, some Mental Therapy and some reviews of our “well seasoned” Gear and Services we utilize. Published Weekly or so.
“You can’t escape Karma … It is what it is. It doesn’t judge, it’s neither good nor bad like most people think. It’s the result of all the actions, positive and negative–a constant balancing act of events–cause and effect–tit for tat–reaping and sowing–what goes around comes around … However you phrase it, it’s the same in the end.”
~ Alyson Noel ~
It is with a heavy Heart that I write this. My Mother in Munich suffered a severe massive stroke yesterday, now paralyzed, unconscious and on Life support. My Dear Mother. My Friend throughout these years always only a phone call away. Luckily for all of us as my Uncle and Aunt will join me from Belgium, it happened right outside her apartment. There is no Poetry in all of this while trying to stay afloat. Spirit is well situated and I will be in Munich for a couple weeks. Having no “living will” I am the one “they are waiting for” while my last Friend … This World is already feeling so empty, the lessons learned these past years are so difficult to put in motion. Confused, this is all I can write. What is below was already on this page and will leave it at that. How amazing that I had written such words before the dreaded phone call. How staggering that in this Desert today the dark clouds have moved in with lightning, thunder and much rain as a sign from above. Please wait for me.
I don’t hesitate spilling my Soul’s contents on these pages. They are mine, it is my channel of sounds and colors, feelings, they are who I am, they made me who I am today and it is truly a "good thing". They are the moments encountered lately with a bright sunshine and a full Moon keeping the spirits and all contents elevated as a deserved prize throughout these years of struggle, of learned lessons and emotional Journey. So aware they will never be over, yet, the peaks are enjoyed and past chapters applied to. Keeping thoughts mirrored into my Life without inscribing them in words is difficult for me even if not adventuring myself into the very personal aspect which will always remain as such out of respect for others involved on my path.
The winds have shifted. The temperatures have dropped on the outside, yet deep inside they have risen warming up my Heart and all surroundings. "Sharing" Life these days has become as a new stage, a canvas filled with hope erasing images of an old Soul and his Dog all alone with and at times against the elements. Another step up. It all feels new somehow and all at the same time so old as two Souls on a similar Journey encountering each other for over all these past years with familiar thoughts of a heightened present. Life is going on with a flow all familiar and unfamiliar blending in together creating as always hope and the fruit of a faith facing a wrapped gift willing to be so gently unwrapped.
I heard the saying the other day which made me smile "There is a lid for every jar". Could it really be true? So much has unwound which had so many doubts, even more was in total darkness, a tunnel I remember with not even a trace of daylight. There, were the beginnings of this Journey, this new lease on Life with not even a crumb of faith, the path was wide open and yet there were no directions only filled with adventures I gave ourselves subconsciously always trusting more blind than ever the steps taken, some forward and some backward. Nothing ever seems easy though as the plate fills up just when thinking it had cleared up. The Fabric of Life. The Journey, Spirit, my Friends, my Mother, I have many lids.
I reminisce often, the present can plant me here or take me back. It is an odd sensation to sometimes feel what was felt before perfectly knowing so much has changed. It is pushing North now that has renewed my energy becoming a bit stale here on this stage having so much prolonged our welcome I feel. As much as…
Spring has arrived in Big Bend. Flowers are blossoming everywhere more than ever due to the heavy rainfalls of times past. The brown dusty carpet has changed to spotted yellows where even my steps are careful as to not disturb the delicate patterns changing by the day. More colors are protruding, a canvas slowly being painted so delicately. It is an amazing uplifting sight. The packing of our gear has started, a bit more mental and on paper than physical trying as always to keep it simple for the miles to come. The temperatures have risen these past days as this time around we are trying to get used to the heat as such will open up more spaces we can reside within. I almost feel it as being a bad habit to move on when the forecast calls for over ninety degrees.
Stay well, keep up the Hope.
Ara and Spirit
April 2nd, 2013 at 2:06 pm
Ara ~ My thoughts and prayers are with you and your Mother during this trying time. Be of stout heart, my friend. Your Mother seems to have had a full and interesting life to this point, and if you are at all like I am, you only wish for their life to end with dignity and grace. If her maker has deigned that this is the time to call her home, I pray that it will be easy for her, for you, and for the rest of the family.
Don
April 2nd, 2013 at 2:16 pm
Thank You Don. Your words help. It puts much in perspective. On with another Journey now. Ara and Spirit.
April 2nd, 2013 at 2:34 pm
Ara, so sorry to hear, I remember the many conversations with your mother while staying with us.
I posted this in the Motorcyclist Cafe.
Dean
April 2nd, 2013 at 2:49 pm
i’m sorry Ara. sending love light and prayers to you, your mother, family, and friends. 🙁 god speed…
April 2nd, 2013 at 4:25 pm
So sorry….I went through the same thing a couple years ago. Our thoughts are with you and yours.
D.Smith
April 2nd, 2013 at 5:00 pm
I’m very sorry to read this news, Ara. I wish your mother, you and the rest of your family peace. Take care…
April 2nd, 2013 at 5:07 pm
God Speed, friend.
Mark and Bobbie
April 2nd, 2013 at 5:14 pm
I love spring in Big Bend… it is as if new life springs forth from the old… At least your mom likely suffered very little, indeed the best way to depart this world… our thoughts are with you during this trying time…
April 2nd, 2013 at 5:14 pm
You are in my thoughts.
April 2nd, 2013 at 5:37 pm
So, so sorry to hear this. I had a feeling something was wrong not having seen any new posts here or FB or elsewhere. This is not easy for you. How could it be? You are in my thoughts and prayers, Ara. All you can really do is just be there. I wish I could do something to lighten your heart. Hugs, friend. Hope you can feel them. Cindy
April 2nd, 2013 at 6:30 pm
Ara, keep the warm memories in your heart while you go through this time. I send my prayers and thoughts to you and your family. Dee
April 2nd, 2013 at 11:47 pm
Do what you must at this time, we’ll all be here awaiting your return.
April 3rd, 2013 at 6:15 am
So very sorry to read this. You are in my thoughts.
April 3rd, 2013 at 8:12 am
I’m sorry Ara, safe travels.
April 3rd, 2013 at 8:18 am
Dear Ara,
As you go to your Mother’s side to comfort her, may you be comforted also, by our affection for you, your Mother, Spirit and your family that you have shared with us. God speed you to grant her wish to again feel your hand and see your face.
Pam & Randy
April 3rd, 2013 at 11:38 am
So sorry, Ara, to hear about your mother. You are, it seems without a doubt, in the hearts of many.
April 3rd, 2013 at 1:20 pm
Howdy Ara,
Our prayers are with you and your family at this time.. You have shown a lot of strength of spirit in your travels and He will sustain you!!! Have a safe trip and we’ll be waiting for more of your experiences, when you return… Remember you have a lot of people ALL OVER THE WORLD, who are your friends and wish the best for you!!!
butterbean carpenter/zimmermann
April 3rd, 2013 at 3:26 pm
Sorry to hear this news Ara. Peace be upon you and your dear Mother~
April 3rd, 2013 at 10:37 pm
My thoughts are with you and your mother during this difficult time.
Be strong, be brave…she needs you right now.
April 4th, 2013 at 7:00 am
I am so sorry to have missed this before now. You have so many friends and so much love with you on this journey. This is the way of it, no matter how it happens, whether on some expected, yet unexpected occurrence, or the wrenching away of them from us on our perceived schedule of things. Be safe and well, as you tell us all the time. You are not alone in this.
April 4th, 2013 at 7:17 am
Ara, You are such a special soul that one can only assume that you were guided by a very special woman and I am sorry for the pain of you and your people. I know that you know that our life is so much more than the path we walk on this Earth but that can’t be much consolation to you right now. Go to your family knowing your have so many praying for you and beseeching our Maker to give grace to you all.
April 4th, 2013 at 7:38 am
I am so very sorry to hear the news about your beloved mother. Please rest in the happiness of the joy and love of your years together. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your mother…
April 4th, 2013 at 9:06 am
My prayers are with you & your Mom, Ara. God bless you both.
April 4th, 2013 at 9:19 am
Our thoughts and prayers are with you my friend. So sorry to hear about your mother.
April 5th, 2013 at 6:47 am
Ara, I put off reading this for over a week. I think I knew it was unhappy news from the heading. I am finally ready to receive the news, so I opened the mail and read with great sadness the contents. As you know, I am caring for my Mom in her waning years, and I am saddened each day as I discover more and more of her has been lost somewhere in the previous day(s). I feel your emotional and physical pain as I read your words, now over a week old. I know what awaited you as you returned to your Mom’s bedside. The decisions and the heartbreak. You’ll know what to do, it’s all in the heart. Be strong, know you’re loved and supported in these days by the friends you’ve made here. Be well, Ara.
April 5th, 2013 at 6:16 pm
Dear Ara,
Arabs say Maktub = it is written.
And in my eyes our life is written long before we get born. That things will happen, they will happen, our only freedom is the attitude how we will accept the things destiny will face us with.
Myself I came back from Germany yesterday morning with the hole family. My plan was to present my wife and my kids to my forster father who left us in 1983 and got last year diagnosticated a liver cancer. Destiny wanted that he had a brain stroke 1 1/2 weeks before the journey. I only was able to talk to him over the phone. Anyhow again he gave me a big lesson of attitude. “every second is a gift and backwards not even for to get impuls”.
I sincerely wish the best to Your mother and You and may You both find the right attitude to face what comes up. Be grateful for all the love and lessons she grew you up with. You described her as a strong independent lady, now she deserves your help and assistence.
Your
Thomas and Sven Peter from Costa Rica
April 6th, 2013 at 9:13 pm
Ara,
When I saw those first words I knew it was your mother. I only know you through your beautifully written words but know that my heart is heavy for you. Life is precious. We will wait.
Thinking of you, Spirit and your family.
-jen
April 9th, 2013 at 5:20 pm
Dear Ara,
Wishing you a safe journey.
Your friend,
John Quincy.
April 10th, 2013 at 5:11 pm
Wishing you and your family the best of all possibilities.
April 24th, 2013 at 7:06 am
I think of you often Ara, but have not visited you here in awhile. So sorry to hear about your Mother.
I’d still love to find a way to meet up on the road one day. I am traveling north through the Smoky Mountains and beyond before turning west, so will not be through Texas any time soon. Just wanted you to know you are in my thoughts.