Silence is on… “The Oasis”, Tx

Thursday, September 30th, 2010

“Perhaps humankind, in the middle of its path… is nearer to it’s actual goal than it will be at the end” ~ Freidrich Nietzsche


We have been here 24hrs and I have done nothing but posted a new entry in our Journal and cooked a very unattractive dinner last night consisting of rice and chicken. How did I manage to make it so boring I have no clue. I am afraid to move as it will break the silence I am listening to. Only Spirit is noisy, now and then, with his afternoon nap while snoring, nap I will join in soon. The skies are clear, blue without a cloud unlike yesterday upon us, and the temperature will hit 95 today. Probably more. So much for staying cool. I tried a couple times to push myself to do something, anything even if just unpacking. It is not happening. Not yet. The body and the mind have gone dormant. This too shall pass as I am enjoying this state of total non accomplishment. The vegetation has grown a bit. I like that too. Mother Nature is trying to take back the few square feet I had cleared up as I am realizing it was not a need neither. The Fire Ring, my Center of the Universe, however it will need some attention as for some reason also it also looks smaller, feels smaller. I think it is ready for some growth, when the weather gets a bit cooler.

The Oasis The Oasis
Mexican Generals  

All is just too comfy here. Telephone, internet, water compliments of my Friends Voni and Paul up the road who again loaned me a 300 gallon jug, plenty of wood left over from last season, the 87lb canvas tent which will go up soon when I get some help, and the main factor, the best attribute of them all… there is no check out time. I am finding often here still so hard to live for the moment. I have to look at Spirit and talk to him to remind myself of such a simple and yet often ambitious Lifestyle. I am jumping ahead into winter already. The Photo Show in Bisbee next month, much camping into the Parks, the cold weather as it will probably not hit 95 but 110 today, (it did, 117), “stuff” to do and mainly this Book that I have started, so ready for it to lay down the words for those 300 pages or so ahead of me.


The Book with the same title “The Oasis of my Soul” and a subtitle “Lifelong Journey under the Stars” will be a reflection of my Journal. Dedicated to Lance. I am not who I was four years ago, I can only edit what I have written then while at the bottom of the ladder not even thinking about how to climb the steps ahead. It will be in a backward chronological time, starting today with the final chapter being the first or so. I would like to include a DVD of photos pertaining to each chapters. Being self published most likely I hope it is a conceivable idea to complement the Journey. This brings me to the “time” factor as often I will not write as much text in this present Journal but photos which I will never stop taking. There is no other way to fit it all in. There are still so many undiscovered by us areas in the vicinity, opportunities for Photography is and will always be present. My Winter project.

escape route  
The main road  

A day has passed now, suddenly my inner energy has come back. I see a starting line again, one of the many that has lined the path of these past years. I think we will go for a night time ride, it is 113 right now, in a couple hours all should cool down. Since I started writing my Book I have been thinking a lot about these past four years. Thinking a lot about Lance who’s Birthday is coming up. 33. What a promising young man he was and still is in my own Memory. The pain has not subsided, sometimes I don’t know what to call it as a force pushes me to go on doing what we do and yet when “still” and our eyes meet I can only break down, the present escapes me and nothing in this Life truly matters anymore. Those are the moments I always feel closest to him. I cherish them. Friends I have call it “courage”, I myself think it is only my own character and personality not to give up on my promise. The alternative always seems too easy.

escape route  
storage container  

I do think about the notion of a substitute Life. I thought about it when we arrived a couple days ago. So Peaceful here, serene, no one only a few ever come here, I thought why cannot the rest of the World be as such, why could I not just “be”? Everyone just “be”. Could I be accomplishing a big nothing? No one would ever stop me, or for that matter blame me. What thirst has come upon me to watch this reel of Life that has not stopped frame by frame unraveling continuously. And what am I really achieving besides putting my thoughts into words and taking photos of our surroundings? I realize always it is of climbing that ladder, the interminable one, the one with it’s last step always in the shadows, that last step which is the one which moves me forward incessantly. The one which I will most likely never see while alive as I think if ever for any reason I do step on it, it will be the end of it all.

The main road  

You be well… always.

Ara & Spirit

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6 Responses to “Silence is on… “The Oasis”, Tx”

  1. john Says:

    welcome back….

  2. texascindy Says:

    Ara, there is a reason why you named your place Oasis of my Soul. It is there where it seems you truly feel “at home” and at peace. You do know, I hope, that you have touched so many lives in a positive way through this journal and your travels. As painful as it is, you would not be on this path if Lance had not lost his battle with cancer. God had a plan for you and He knew this is the way you would go. Losing Lance gave you new meaning for life. His death was not in vain. You have become a new person and he would be so proud of you and the life you are living. I know you would give it all up for Lance to be back with you, healthy and whole. You know I think a lot of you. I can only imagine that going back through past entries of your journal will rip open some wounds. Look for the joy wherever you can find it. It is there, sometimes hidden behind a rock. Sometimes in the sunset. But always I hope you can find a piece of it in your heart. Hugs to both of you…

  3. Jeff & Sandra Says:

    Hey Ara and Spirit, Glad you are well and had a good time visiting family on the other side of the planet. As far as getting your body started again, I am happy to see that you had some time to enjoy how beautiful it is to do nothing and rest afterward.

  4. Randy Says:

    Welcome home.

  5. Zelda Says:

    Welcome home, Ara & Spirit! You know what I’m going to say, but I will say it anyway, “Get some good rest, take gentle care of the body and mind”.

    Zelda (Pam)

  6. Debi Stogsdill Says:

    Spirit looks so happy to be back home!!!!!

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