In Lance’s Memory, October 13th 1978 – January 26th 2004
Friday, January 26th, 2007
Three years ago today, January 26th of 2004, at 10pm, the life support umbilical cord which kept a Human Being alive was pulled. At 10:30pm, being granted another 30 minutes in this World of ours, a Human Being, managing to say on his last breath “It’s all good…” left us and departed for another dimension. He is my son Lance, my only child… my buddy and my friend.
My own world had crumbled long time ago before that day. I never forget receiving the phone call expressing that a Cancer tumor was found in his liver. That was in 2002. Hope never leaves the mind, but when the prognostic of it being discovered was already in stage 5… a wall instantly went up, a wall that deep down I knew we were never going to be able to get over. We searched and search, as far as Europe… as far as in experimental procedures… with no avail.
This is not about me, but about Lance. We are not suppose to see our children go away… at least that is what they say. It has added a layer to my life that is so dark and permanent around the clock that I live with it constantly… day after day… hour after hour. I have tried to come to terms with it, but it only has left me numb as I have to accept it… but do not understand. This Journey at times would have been in his company, but it is not. I try to fill in his shoes, because that is what he would have wanted me to do. To continue in living and experiencing the beauty and experiences that traveling has to offer… and most of all… to share it with you all as he would have liked too also.
Lance was a copy of me! Improved however… He was a kind man always thinking about others, always thinking about his mother and father, his family, his friends… anyone that was around.
His popularity amazed me… sometimes I would have to wait patiently for some quality time with him… they all came to see Lance, to talk to him, laugh with him and the bond was always so obvious. I cannot help smiling when I think about his beautiful girl friends! When around witnessing his relationships I could always tell their own passion toward him… “well done son”… I would tell him!
He was born with a natural “aura”… I always thought about it as a permanent “halo”… he had this magnetism to him that drew people toward his presence, including me! I would get so much of a kick, for better words, just to watch his interaction with his surroundings… he was after all my son… part of me was in him… and we had so many similarities! Same handwriting… same hand gestures… same clothing size… even same shoes size… and the same great outlook on life…
He loved “nice”… he loved Nike… Armani… Mountain Hardware… and Ducatis!
And he loved good food… not just good food, but excellent food, refined food! He knew about all the great Restaurant… all the places to go out and eat according to what anyone was in the mood for… A pretty good cook himself. So many times we had talked about opening a Restaurant together, maybe called “Father and Son”! It never happened… He was so good with people, he would have taken care of the front and me the kitchen… He wanted a motorcycle in such a desperate way sometimes… A red Ducati Multistrada… we went to look at them more than once… we never bought it.
So many ideas never realized when he was healthy… so many! And today… I so often live with the guilt of not having taken the steps for those realizations that he wished so much… It was always a bad time… the wrong time… school… money… time for this instead of that.
He continues living within me, with me. I share this Journey with him as he also watches over me every step of the way. I go on through these days past and future with the hope that this is what we would have seen, experience, write and photograph.
An Oasis is a source of life, my Oasis is Lance, my days are filed with his thoughts as time allows me to do so, unobstructed with this clear and open path that I have chosen. I go on because he said so… “it’s all good…”, remember!
Hug your kids today… hug your family… hug your friends… hug a stranger… don’t put off your plans… make plans if you don’t have any! Don’t put off with them for tomorrow what you could do today, the rest will wait… they might not! Sometimes Life cannot be fixed… everything else can!
And my day will go on today… as everyday… more special than the other ones, filled with more memories than ever, a quiet day… as three years ago…
I know that you will also have some kind thoughts having met today an incredible young man…
My son… Lance.
Thank you.
Ara
January 26th, 2007 at 8:09 am
Ara,
Thank you for sharing your son, Lance with us today. From reading this, it is very apparent that the world is a better place for the time he was here.
Peace
January 26th, 2007 at 9:56 am
This is a beautiful testament to your son Ara. I wish I could have met him. I am sorry he isn’t with you in person. Big hugs to you!
*The website looks fantastic*
January 26th, 2007 at 11:50 am
Ara,
First and foremost, thank you for your daily observations and pictures. I found your site via http://www.popupportal.com and
read your postings daily. In fact my son (5yrs), always wants to know about “Spirit’s” daily adventure.
Your post this morning about your son “touched” me. My father passed away when I was child from liver cancer as well, and your thoughts/comments sent a flood of emotions and memories (all good) streaming back. Thanks for reminding me, in this hustle and bustle world I live in, what truly is important in my life.
Thanks for allowing me and the world to be a part of your adventures.
Best regards,
Ches
January 26th, 2007 at 12:39 pm
Ara:
I have been following your travels, both here and on Two Wheeled Texans, and I knew that you had lost your son. Your memorial to Lance has touched me deeply.
Thank you for sharing.
May God bless you,
Lee
January 26th, 2007 at 12:54 pm
Wow,
The things you learn about people from the internet……..
Ara, I’ve wanted to let you know this for a while and a day like this seems like
as good of one as there is…. You will always have a place in Vermont to
be at peace and be among friends. Both from myself (Junkyard) and another ADV’r MZCountryBoy.
You may have seen the ADV hack he just made….
I love volunteering other people, you can do that with your best friend 🙂
Hope to get to have dinner with you sometime.
Junkyard
PS I have some pull in maine too if you want to spend time there.
A small lean-to camp only accesible by boat….
January 26th, 2007 at 3:52 pm
Hi Ara: I’m a Dad and I appreciate your words about your son. I bet he is so proud of you and that you are going on with your dreams and your life. I will hug my family today and dedicate it to you and Lance.
I know we have never meet but your daily blog has become such a daily part of my life (via Big Bend Chat).
You feel like an ol friend to me. God Speed. Your friend, Dan
January 26th, 2007 at 11:11 pm
Ara; Thanks for sharing that with us. Through you, I almost feel as if I know him. He will always be with you; don’t forget that.
As we are with you, and you, us.
Elzi
January 27th, 2007 at 10:23 am
Ara…..a very touching remembrance to Lance and the relationship between the two of you. As a father I fully understand the love, the dreams, but I cannot comprehend the sorrow of such a tragic loss.
January 27th, 2007 at 3:05 pm
Ara, memories can never be taken, remember often, he travels with you. Enjoy your adventures for the both of you, he is right there on your shoulder, or pushing Spirit over a little for more room next to you. Be safe and give Spirit a hug.
January 27th, 2007 at 10:00 pm
Ara, Desertgirl66 from the ExPo portal here. Thank you so much for sharing your memory of Lance with us! What can I say! How wonderful for you to have had such a beautiful son!!—-He would be so proud of his father–going out and exploring with Spirit–seeking new vistas–and sharing all that with us here that are sharing your adventure, and feelings, and hopes and dreams! Damm Dude!!
Happy Trails!!
Kristina (aka) desertgirl66
January 29th, 2007 at 9:35 pm
i’ve been following your post on our local website…but this struck me. i am a young father of 3 boys. life is uncertain…i hope i live long enough to enjoy their company. i want to see them grow like men…to see them on their wedding day…to embrace my grandchildren…thanks a lot dude..your an inspiration 🙂
January 30th, 2007 at 5:24 pm
Ara,
It does not suck to be you!!!!!!
Cakes and the kids send thier love, me too.
Kiss Spirit for us, and you know you’ve got a home in south Mississip!!
your friend,
Walt
PS. How are those air bags holding up?
February 2nd, 2007 at 4:37 pm
Ara,
It’s so sad to read this, a life ended prematurely. But the message is loud and clear… live your life NOW because no one knows what tomorrow brings! Thanks for sharing the memory of Lance.
Anna
February 4th, 2007 at 11:13 pm
Ara, your tribute was very moving. Thank you for sharing it, I feel privileged to have read your words about Lance.
September 3rd, 2008 at 10:59 pm
Looking for information and found it at this great site…r
March 19th, 2009 at 8:48 am
[…] The roads and it’s shoulders throughout Nature’s path were adorned with smiles and joys, I just could not see the luster of it all. I am only now seeing the brilliance of this new Spring.It has been a few years since I laid him to rest…” -Ara Gureghian (site, reason) […]
March 27th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Wow Ara,
Unbelievable. I remember reading this some time ago but just followed the link again from TGR. This is such a wonderful page, quite touching, and so sad. I’m sorry to read about it and hear it. Your friend, Andre
September 29th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
Ara,
Just wow. Amazing tribute to a wonderful young man. Your love for him leaps off the page and touches my heart. I’ve enjoyed following your journey, but never as clearly gotten the message as reading this particular page.
Warm wishes from the heart of San Francisco,
Courtney
March 28th, 2010 at 8:40 pm
Ara,
Your story touches the soul of all people…Life is so short, perhaps we can all learn from you and your story. Be well….
March 13th, 2011 at 11:41 pm
Ara,
Today was the first time reading your site and I was drawn to the picture of your son when he was younger. Being a new father, I can only imagine the grief that would come along with him being gone. I will keep both of you in my prayers. May God have mercy on his soul and may his love fill you with life until you are reunited.
July 29th, 2012 at 10:58 pm
Ara –
Thanks you for sharing your son with us. Any person would be lucky (and smart) to take the chance to follow their passion, to have a “why” that is so strong that they do what they want to do in life. Yes, most Americans get caught up in planning for tomorrow – myself included – when the life they lead may be much more fulfilling and enjoyable if they simply pursued what they really wanted.
Though I am sorry that Lance cannot be with you, I am happy that you are living with a purpose. We should all be so fortunate.
Bob
July 31st, 2012 at 6:29 am
Thank You for your Kind words Bob. It is a choice. We do not, obviously, quite create our own destiny yet we can choose our path. You have a Great Day.