I am still trying to find it… Texas

Sunday, March 8th, 2009

There’s a spot on earth a man can go
To find himself and free his soul
A place somewhere between hell and heaven
Where no one hurts and all’s forgiven
A door that leads to light and grace
But the keys are in the darkest place
Though it feels like I’ve been there before
Though I don’t know what I’m looking for
And I’m trying to find it

Pat Green “I am trying to find it” (song)

another Oasis sunrise

Springs is upon us today, was also yesterday. I feel it, I smell it’s dampness in the morning when still dark as I am now awake giving up the extra hour of sleep to instead “trying to find” the keys to this arena we have entered now a few years ago. Emotions come in so many forms and shapes even if they remain on a path invariably on always the same course. They are news from a Friend sometimes, a phone call from Mother, they are suddenly a projection of past vivid memories sharp as it’s moments when then passed by, they are this inexplicable to me “feelings” suddenly demanding my attention within my thoughts. At times it’s brightness blinds me and at times it’s darkness makes me stumble and trip only to arise again with new found strength. How many times will I have to climb that slippery slope? As many times as it takes.

corner bumper 

corner bumper b-2 corner bumper a-2

I have been wanting to stop and photograph many places I have never really taken the time to. I pass by them a zillion times on our way to Terlingua. My night time markers, such as this bumper… make a left, and other structures no one ever stops as I never have either in the past. The Blog will explain why so many of the near same photos…

flag house a 

flag house b flag house c

the rubber glove

Seeing this glove hidden behind the bushes made my day… silly… but it did!

We are plowing through time. Spring brings up my most inner hidden senses almost as sharpened by the shadows of winter past, it’s short days, it’s cold days when the mind has to confront the most simple decisions such as adventuring where? and how… with all due respect toward my Friend “Mother Nature” in her preparations for her new canvas on this vast earthy surface we will roam on more freely than ever, welcomed by it’s mild and pleasant temperatures and it’s colors and it’s smells only laid out such short time ago. Spring this year has also brought up and filled the void of a past loneliness so present throughout our previous times. Words from others have trickled in to let us know of their visits, of their care and support when most needed, an awareness unseen and unfelt before. We left alone, Spirit and I, months ago, just him and I sometimes looking and sensing at each other as if the path taken was so vulnerable of this decision a bit delirious and unstable, uprooted suddenly within this scale never standing still. We don’t feel so alone these days anymore and a new smiling and fuzzy feeling has instead filled the emptiness we started with.

cash for cars a

cash for cars c cash for cars b

We have neighbors that have now become our Family. They are not next door, we cannot hear their latches open and close, but we know they are there, always welcoming each other with a hug and a smile and words filling the void. They are so felt and appreciated. We have many readers writing about their companionship with us throughout this Journey and communicating with as I just stumbled upon and found an even better way to do so since my last words of not being able to reply to them all. Please do not stop writing to us. I had to find a solution and I did… as again I feel my replies will flow so much better. It is a must due to respect toward others taking themselves the time to stay in touch. It is “Love” your neighbor and everyone else standing by throughout these years to come, on this stage so real always reminding us that the moments lived are now and not a rehearsal as we might think at times.

greaswood grocery a

greaswood grocery b greaswood grocery c

I am being filled with a new sense of “creativity” these days. Is it again because of this feeling of upcoming spring or maybe the search of “something new”? A step above the ones we have been resting on, adventuring ourselves on. Renewing “seeing”  and “connecting” and “feeling”, sometimes successfully  and sometimes not, as one cannot force that path only acquired through time and patience. As “Dewitt Jones” says it so well “creativity is the ability to see the ordinary as extraordinary”. They are the moments when we see the uniqueness of everything surrounding us when stripped from other paths crowding our mind. They are the moments when we fall in love with the old rock, the crooked fence, the bud on it’s life span slowly day by day and moment by moment becoming a flower, they are the moments when suddenly we are in love with the world tasting and savoring this gift given to us, so simply put. 

airplane b 

airplane airplane c
airplane d airplane a

I was photographing the “swimming hole” the other day, as you might have seen the photos, and hours later, in front of this screen, I end up with so many that I liked. But this time the scenario was different as many were alike, many shot within the same space and yet they were so different from each other only taken a few feet apart per photo and sometimes within even inches of each other. I try to choose the ones that move me the most for them to stand out, but that day, as coincidentally was reading “Dewitt Jones” articles, articles defining the parallelism between photography and Life, I realized there was not a single photo better than the other, as there is not only just one answer on this path we are on. There are such unanswered questions within a mind that has so many replies, all justifiable but none truly a certitude. Why can’t we be happy with a multitude of answers if we know we will never have any assurance of the right answer. Is it because we have been programmed “to know”? Like photos taken only inches away from each other, maybe we can contemplate the many responses laid out ahead of us when we know they will remain a mystery that man kind has yet to uncover. 

motel g  

motel a motel h
motel d motel f
motel b motel e

There will be more, more vision that I think so few have seen and taken the time to feel how “extraordinary” even the dilapidated building, the old water truck once brand new and shiny filled with the new vinyl aroma now parked only holding a sign, weathered and beat up…

Till next time… more chapters, more reading, more photos… another curtain has risen, we are passed the starting line but the finish line is yet to be in sight.

Twenty nine months of Photography is finally in order on SmugMug… In “Your Favorites”, in “States”, some labeled “first year” and second year”, now also “Texas the third year”. Feel free to browse, you can even use the slide show mode and have fun. Merchandise is also available through SmugMug. If you like to order prints, all sizes are available as I store the originals myself considering the huge bandwidth needed to upload them on the Galleries.

Internet connections, bandwidth, cameras, fuel… they are all part of this Blog allowing page after page to be published. Contributions to the site are welcomed always. 

Be well…

Ara & Spirit

Share and Enjoy:
  • Facebook
  • Google Bookmarks
  • RSS
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • Twitter
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • del.icio.us
  • Reddit
  • Tumblr
  • Technorati

Leave a Reply