Archive for the ‘Journal’ Category

Is there ever “nothing” to write about? NM

Saturday, October 20th, 2018

“Vivid dreams come and go. I am glad you can find the sun through the clouds when it matters most.”
A quote from my Dear Friend Mike Saunders.

Random photos of our backyard and a few from Santa Fe…

If that was the case, in my situation anyhow, it would only mean I am not thinking, I am not feeling, observing, agreeing to disagree with others, one of the most important aspect of Life for me… And then again “blank” moments, those new moments which I guess come with age, are often welcome. They are as forced upon us as a form of meditation. I let them roll on off my back [“like a duck”? is the expression?] and actually enjoy them after they are passed as how would I know I am going through them since they are “blank”? Kind of funny… right? Humor has become a huge part of my Life. I even receive should I call them “compliments”? I was talking to my Spine Surgeon’s nurse this morning asking how far could I postpone this four to five hour surgery coming up considering I need much clearance due to my seven bypasses and eight stents expressing to her that yes, I am nervous about it. I did add however that, well, if I did not make it I would never know! A good way to go! I might have shocked her with such a thought and yet her comeback was “that is a reality for sure, I am glad you are finding some humor in all of this”. Why not? What are our options? The image of a room’s corner and crying my eyes out always bypasses me! Regardless, totally regardless, I just don’t think we have the right to waste this gift so generously given to us called “Life” even if some moments of it we think are not what we signed up for.

White Sands on a beautiful evening.

And it was not a disappointing Sunset!

I heard some engine noises last night. Peaking while on the porch I could not tell through the trees [yes, we have trees here!] what is was. Decided to put my hat on, jacket, and investigate as a good citizen would do. It was a fire engine and an ambulance, both running. A few houses down around the bend lives this couple. She is from Guam and him has been raised here. I met him in Cloudcroft while I was having a cup of coffee on their narrow boardwalk. Tall man of average stature, long white beard and same for his hair, his eyes receded a bit into his face, not an unfriendly presence but yet reserved. He turned out to be my a bit distant neighbor and we left it at that. They were painting the roof of their home a while ago with “Henry Extreme” which is white and cools down the inside home temperature by at least 15 degrees. That was the first work I had done here, actually the only one. It takes two coats each going a different direction. I had noticed they only had painted one coat and while his wife was outside I stopped to tell her that two coats is really a must.

Guilty of?

That is when she told me that her husband was in the hospital with Cancer all over his body. The nasty word again. He was however coming home in a few days and I did not ask for details. There already had been ambulances in front of the house a couple of times. Last night however must have been severe. I will not go and find out, of course not, but made me sad to know that this man I had a nice conversation with was most likely going away soon. Once again the uncertainty of Life showed its ugly face and I thought that this isolated incident I was more or less witnessing was truly not so isolated. It happens every second throughout our Home we call Earth. The tragedies are so constant and unfortunately, not in my own Life, but within others constantly reminded by the Media. I always thought how nice it would be to create a newspaper containing only good news! Is it too late? Are people already programmed to only hear about tragedies and would discard the “feel good” stories? Such stories do exist by the way. They are just not publicized. Spirit and I throughout our years on the road have experienced them. They are still vivid in my memories. At least “I have” written about them.

How many nights should I book this for?

NOT in Alamogordo but in Santa Fe…

It is the unbalance that gets to me. Unbalance we are however lucky to be able to live through. Almost as if this Earth and everything contained is on two separate paths. It is of course the “Yin Yang” concept so profoundly rooted not only in each of us but also around us. We laugh, we smile, we at times carry on when within our own border, right on the other side of the high wall, there are aspects of sadness, grieving and even anger we have for those other times being, the other file closed and locked in the cabinet. It is actually I find genial us as Human Beings having that ability. Which one is real? The sadness or the laughing? Amazingly they both are depending on the present situation as for years I wondered how can we do that? How can we be as such? How can I myself with the weight of having pulled the Lifeline plug of my Son, my Mother and Spirit still throughout conversations with others have a resemblance of humor? I find that aspect amazing.

 

 

It is the Weather of Life no doubt. It is the similarity of my present view while sitting here and writing contemplating the sights through my kitchen window, the peaks of the mountains enveloped by low flying clouds this morning. A fog which will eventually lift off just as for us when we find ourselves on the other side of our inner border. Sunshine will prevail again, and again, because it just is, the gray skies will return wether we like it or not. We are never in control. Let’s not fool ourselves. The only control we have is the willingness to accept “Yin Yang”. The choice is truly ours, it comes from within often at the expense of inner battles which we must come out victorious. That is if we want to accept this Gift of Life with open arms regardless of which side of our inner border we are on at the time happening.

Are you too young to remember the Movie?

A Friend of mine told me that my laundry hanging [unintentionally] was artistic! So I had a photo blown up of it for the house…

From Santa Fe a “mobile” with mainly Spirit’s photos. In the background artifacts of Lance’s, my Mother’s and also Spirit’s on a cribbage board. An empty collar with his bell… Sure miss that sound!

“Peace on earth……
We are like aspens in the forest, which seem to be separate trees but are actually connected at the roots….”
Stay well
Ara and Spirit


Visits To Date