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In Pursuit… NM

Sunday, November 4th, 2018

Alamogordo’s present backyard

“The pursuit of contentment is really where it’s at! Of course being content, requires not being in pursuit!”

Hundreds of free campsites

The coffee machine this morning has decided as myself to also be in pursuit! Finally after 16 months it is kind of on the blink. Is it taking after me? Yesterday was the mountains all day including a Pizza [again!] which made me realize that some form of a food diet has become a must. But, that is another story. The weather was gorgeous in the mid seventies and while not great for photos with clear blue skies was making my soul content and I probably, likely, got carried away in my physical activities forgetting [how can I?] that this morning a price will be paid. The countdown from 200 is taking much longer and I have no other thoughts but “It sucks getting older”. I still try to not use the word “old”. After all, we are not made of titanium! All these years of sailing, standing up in kitchens, riding a motorcycle too often in a not so courteous manner for the body, well, what should I expect? We are only bones and flesh. A miracle bones themselves have lasted this long!

NIce job on this Fire ring

Yet, I cannot give up! I think about it and that is where it stops. Couch potato? from the seat of a car to the seat of a camping chair to the seat of the living room? I don’t think so. The mind has not taken too much of a beating but the body needs to follow its trajectory and keep up with it. My nerve ending ablation is for sure not going to be too soon and still, it is not a 100% guarantee I am told. In a way I see some form of humor in all of this! [as usual!] I feel like a car with depleted batteries in the morning and needs to be daily recharged. I have an invisible power cord and some days depending of my activities the day before it takes longer or shorter while impatiently waiting for the lights to go from red to orange to finally green. Sometimes I think the green lies to me! Am I going color blind? How funny is that?

 

I am finally realizing that I am no longer in pursuit. What would I be chasing? Besides my own tail. It just is right now. The gear shift is in neutral, a gear I never allowed in my Life yet providing much contentment these days. There is not even much thinking going on. It is definitely not an expected unexpected. There was some guilt in the beginning but I now hear myself saying “you know? I am really enjoying this!”. The truth is, what choice do we have at this stage? We have to embrace it, stay positive and even love it while we live it.

 

The more time goes by the more I feel as I call it “domesticated”. The path is just like everyone else’s now. They are the modern tools of Life! A home, a car, a grill, furniture, even a television and that is just for starter. That’s okay. I realize its comfort, its path dug daily with a giant sign which has written on it “easiness”. How many more years is this going to go on? I kind of wish I knew. Not trying to be morbid but maybe for planning? Probably a stupid idea… Just live for the now and await for that surprise for that day! We will actually never know, will we? I kind of see the beauty in that aspect also. And “no” I am not awaiting for that day for sure! I want to “die young as late as possible”. [I read that somewhere…]

 

Stay well, Ara and Spirit [R.I.P. 04/04/2018]



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