“You never really know what’s coming. A small wave, or maybe a big one. All you can really do is hope that when it comes, you can surf over it, instead of drown in its monstrosity.” 
~ Alysha Speer ~

I look up the definition of “rant” and the word that stands out is “vociferation”. It sounds loud! Sounds like screaming. I am not. I don’t think “joining the rant” on my end is a proper expression as I feel it and yet will not and do not respond as such. What would be the sense? Am I a Doctor? A Scientist?… or even a Politician? Lucky me I am not on the later or either. Smile.

Months have passed by and we are witnessing, living, a period which will go down in History for sure. I always, aimlessly, idiotically I must say, throw in a “wow”! As short of a three letter word it is, this little guy truly means a lot. It expresses everything we can throw at a stage we witness. It says it all. It not so eloquent, too intelligent, but expressive if one gets into the depth of the reasons it is exclaimed.

These days, though always has been, busy in the kitchen.

I must say that all is well on this front. My Life has truly not changed much. My pivotal direction has always been the Mountains and while many gates are locked, there are still many paths open and with the company of a chair, a book, some food to munch on, the view of Alamogordo from “up there” combined with the freshness and cleanliness of the air at 9400 feet is always a welcome time. The only aspect that has changed is doing grocery pick up at our wonderful little neighborhood Walmart instead of going in the store. They are doing such a wonderful job and always surprised at the freshness of the produce they pick.

So that is that. As the expression goes, “I saw this coming” the first week of January when weekly I glance at the news headlines, honestly not ever reading them in depth. I just knew. I was taught History which spanned from day one until that present time when I was still in school in France. We never got too comfortable living coming out of a turmoiled past, as we do today with an imaginary shield which wrongly so to the popular belief think it protects us from what Life throws in our direction over and over.

Today is plainly History repeating itself. It is really that simple and if not, all the Historians throughout the Centuries have been wrong. Which I doubt very much. The numbers says it all. Friends talk about it. I notice they are on edge, grumpy, and rightly so, worried. Their thoughts are flashing right and left, up and down annihilated by the myriads of news thrown at them. Yet, when asked for my opinion, it is a bland one replying “honestly, I don’t know because no one truly knows”.

The mainstream of my own thoughts however, while it is a stream I at the present more often than not set aside throughout my nights and days, is my disappointment of Society’s handling of it all. To the point of being stupefied. I go back to my own beginnings of these few decades lived and realize the fact that I have never been confronted by such Society as much as I am today. Born and raised in France. Too busy as a teenager with School and fun, and too often getting into some pleasant trouble. And on regularly living with my Grand Parents in Cairo [Egypt] and Kampala [Uganda], youth had its own path while throughout the last years in Culinary School in Switzerland. United States then welcomed me and it was “work, work… work”. My Journey with Spirit found me more than ever wrapped into my own bubble trying to emerge from the grief of losing Lance.

And then again, only three years ago, all changed into a new stage seemingly upside down from the previous one. A one hundred and eighty degree turn. Surgeries, losing again while Spirit passes, a house, no more the ability to ride a motorcycle and camp, not even hiking for too long. Too busy embracing it all I was never one to stay up with the current news and my own Social Media was only my personal circle born from the communicating back and forth of our here present Journal.

As a grenade thrown with its pin removed, this Life then exploded just a few months ago and my curiosity of others thoughts entered my days. I don’t know how to express my disappointment. I am aware that negativity travels much faster than positivity. I am aware that they are myriads of good people out there. Heroes throughout these present times and yet, the greed, the back stabbing, the insults, the games, the angers, the right and left and centered politics and so much more, all saddens me while asking myself the question”is this humanity?”.

It is unfortunately, as going back to my History books, just as these threatened physical times, again and again, it is History repeating itself. One more time and will again in times to come. It is our frame which will unfortunately remain unchanged as… we have not changed. We just have not, while the “good” tries so hard to float on this turmoiled Ocean stroke by stroke trying to make headwaves. And still tries… I scream this time “can we just for this one time, just once, unite and set aside all the downfalls which fill the ones too many present?”. Just for once. I am a positive person, yet I know it is not going to happen and we will one way or another pay the price. Sadly so.

In the meantime, stay safe out there, this is real… as much as you can hear that it is not.

And “Stay Well”

Ara and Spirit

[Spirit, R.I.P. 04~04~2018]