When the line gets blurry… NM

Tuesday, July 11th, 2017

“Sometimes those who don’t socialize much aren’t actually anti-social. They just have no tolerance for drama, stupidity, and fake people”

White Rainbow xxx PCTB

Very recently a Friend of mine took his Life. I call him a Friend because he was more than just an acquaintance. I do differentiate between Friends and acquaintances by the way. He leaves behind a beautiful Wife and two young Daughters. Each beautiful inside out. Maybe by now as the World keeps on spinning faster and faster most of his “entourage” has already forgotten, old news maybe even shoved away dropped off from the back burner into the “neant” of this Universe. I personally cannot get this out of my mind and daily, questions and scenarios keep popping up which I must say with much sadness for the Family and my Friend missing out and the so many years he yet had ahead of him.

Yellowstone

Yes, it is called “suicide”. Just as quickly his embryo formed itself into a Human Being, my Friend opened and closed as quickly the door of death. I hope he is in a better place. His Family left behind is not. We will only know ourselves that day when we will join him. Won’t we? I cannot go into the reasoning of his act. No one can. We can only think that Life had obviously pushed him toward the precipice of his cliff making him take that final step with no ground anymore to support him.
We are all so different I must say. As much as I have myself been pushed toward that downward spiral I have never contemplated suicide. Yet, I cannot and will not criticize his action because we just are not… him. We just cannot. How sad all this is. The quote above is not a coincidence. It makes me think of him as myself a bit settle in this new to us old quaint home for the time being has given me an opportunity to observe a bit “what is going on” in our World, something I generally avoid. I must say, it is not pretty. Not at all. It is actually disturbing. I even often wonder if this is all for real?

A rainy Sunset in Dillon 20

My Friend socialized a lot. He did his share on line. He did it with this attitude we all knew was of defiance and a dark humor, he did it with this gentle sarcasm which I must say quite a few took the bait and opposed him. They did just because isn’t it the thing to do these days?  If you thought big he would think small, if you thought white he would say black. We all knew this… we all knew it because and here is the key: “he was real”. After this time gone by and passed, a certain picture started forming in my mind and again I go back to the above quote, especially with the emphasis on the word “fake”. I will skip elaborating on the word “stupidity” but also pointing out the next word “drama”. Above all, “tolerance”. Sure you might say, he could have changed, taken a step back and curb his humor but he did not. Did the antagonistic and heartless replies to his hidden smile finally got to him?

Ghost Town-19 xxx  

Self importance for many has now come with a new measure in Life called “likes” and what better brings on those “clicks” than drama especially when fake because, lets face it, all is so anonymous these days while we are mostly within a  society comprised of “screen warriors” with no shame of their words. As the years have gone by, as I have known a few for now these past eleven years since our new Life’s Journey started, some even before, many Friends have remained who they are, who they truly were when our Friendships started from that spark which made us feel that this would be our “gold”, but also unfortunately some have taken the opposite path into this precipice where the milestones are filled with fake drama and an amazing self importance with no foundations. I even found a formula some are using mixing their darkness with the lightness of spiritual quotes they don’t even adhere to or for that matter do not believe in as if they did, simply put, their darkness would not be present. It is so transparent, so in your face and yet, so many digest it while I personally only want to throw up…

Like a Giant lightbulb C

I still read at times what they write and all along I have been smiling. I do hoping they have maybe curbed their appetite and willingly would give up their imaginary throne. Curiosity maybe that this could be indeed a better World? Not commenting. Who am I to truly say anything? What is really the true value of my opinion but my own? Not much. The image in my mind grew. I am not blaming the fake and the drama queens and kings on my Friend’s action but I do feel it had something to do with it because of the lack of understanding him and their continuance incessantly poking with a sharp dagger filled with not so kind words. A lack of understanding. A fact that does not surprise me. If only they had taken the time to really know him instead of “copy / paste” some spirituality filled quotes which themselves beautiful yet which they did not believe in this present on their or his Social Media pages for the effects of drama… And I do know I am repeating myself.

Oasis Magic PCTB

There is a whole new Society present now. I personally try hard to not fall into the cracks because I live my Life for myself, for Spirit, my Friends and kind acquaintances. I still share my thoughts and a few photos of sublime presents while regardless of my own tragedy I feel fortunate to be here, I feel fortunate to have grabbed Life by its horns as hard as it can at times be. I miss my Friend, his smile, his sarcastic words, a face of true innocence so dedicated to his Family. What happened? What was the cause of his short circuit that took him away? There is no elaborating. It is what it is… as a good Friend of mine has taught me.

Old Marathon Rd

Rest in Peace my Friend. Rest in Peace. You will not be forgotten, at least not by me.

"I think that happiness resides somewhere between the extremes of personal, religious, and political. I think happiness resides where we understand someone else’s point of view and needs. Happiness resides where we are not lost in the solitary dream."
~ Roger Waters ~ November 2005

Stay well and be kind to each other.
Ara and Spirit

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2 Responses to “When the line gets blurry… NM”

  1. Randy Says:

    Thank you Ara.

  2. Desert Scruff Says:

    Sorry about the lost of your friend, Ara.
    You have written a number of very good posts over the years and I think this is one of the best ones.
    You don’t have attribution for your leading quote and I was wondering where it came from. It’s right on, as far as I’m concerned.
    It used to be when you had a conversation there was an exchange of information about each other’s lives. Now it seems it is sitting listening to an endless report on their lives. Life for these people is just one huge selfie.
    Good luck in New Mexico. I trust our paths will meet again somewhere out in the desert.

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