Archive for June, 2017

Revelation of "validation". A "floater?"… CO

Tuesday, June 6th, 2017

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Within this "today’s" society so prevalent riding the Social Media wagon, as long as the wagon can reach supersonic speeds as, and I don’t know if you are aware of this, a day in Social Media is reduced to 15 minutes. While I have taken a few steps back from it living the "present" Social Media, meaning the face to face of the ones meeting on the road who also for the most part do not spend their lives on a keyboard, a word branding them and myself came to mind "floater". I don’t think we are the majority anymore, I actually know we are not and it has put a distance with many on that path. As I had mentioned it once or twice, we all at one time or another have been sucked into it riding those endless hours staring at a screen until it’s brightness and eventually out of order fonts blinded us physically and mentally. I have Friends who are "addicted" to it so much so that even emails now are absent. An email? But that is too much effort while only is recognized by one person… not hundreds or thousands! I even have a Friend visiting us one day past that turning fidgety had to leave to get back to his/hers Facebook pages. I am however as I need to mention this, not a hypocrite and obviously here I am on the Internet! Yet, if my scale of usage was a 10 in the past, it is now a one. I am a happy "floater"!!!

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All this bringing up another I find key word….

Validation: "Recognition or affirmation that a person’s feelings or opinions are valid or worthwhile"

I record [voice] my thoughts. I think I am getting too old to remember them! Here are some…

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Driving on this straight road on our way to Colorado from New Mexico, my mental state of mind is in total disarray.

I have not written or recorded a word in days. Cameras have been resting in their bags, not even my phone has taken a single photo. There is a heavy weight balancing in my stomach almost making me sick. I am thinking, what is wrong? What is seriously wrong? It is not unusual while staring at the distance for the reel of Life to once more unravel. I forget the better times before Lance passed away, the slide show is by nature darker. Dimmer it gets while also my best Friend and my Mother passes on. The phone calls stop. I cannot wake her up at three o’clock in the morning anymore and agree to disagree on so many topics which kept our conversations and our essence of Life going. I cannot neither hear my ever best Friend’s voice. As they say "my Brother from a different Mother". The only one I ever had.

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At a multitude days per second I arrive to the "now" and start wondering if I am truly surfing these incoming waves any better. After all, the title of this reel was written 13 years ago. Isn’t this redundant? Some days are good and of course some days are not. We know that. I suddenly remembered a word I had heard on a radio talk show about what story tellers on stage always tried to hook the audience with their five minutes of presence allowed. "Validation". I had heard the word before yet never in the context of my today’s Life. I must say it was a "revelation". A missing gear which fell in place making me understand the present. I have lost my own validation. I had never realized it is something we all seek for in one fashion or another.

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It is only then I understood why I started writing, why I started getting into photography. It is only then I understood the true therapeutical value of these pages which stare at me since November 6th 2006. I have created my own validation. This had nothing to do with Social Media and not writing has taken me these past weeks into an abyss I never wanted to again experience. An instruction book again would have been so nice and yet, there is a certain satisfaction finding Life’s answer on our own, I might add in a "healthy fashion" if you know what I mean. Publishing or not is not the question here, writing or not is and as these past weeks have left a big hole I have finally been able to fill, I know now what the answer is. Here is one of the rare avenues where I can lose myself as language is so beautiful and expressive and so are photos. From brain to fingers to keyboard or "plume" as they say in French. I can be a floater and still be here… Big sigh….

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Selling The Oasis has also been a factor with repercussions I did not expect. Those beautiful ten acres were part of my own validation and now gone leaving a certain emptiness, the hook I could hang on to in winter months absent forever. So I did something these past couple of weeks I also did not quite expect of myself. Life can be so amazing and so tutorial! I started with no waste of time seeking for a new Oasis disregarding our present times wrongly so I quickly found out projecting myself only into the future and breaking my own rules. I set course onward South towards Central New Mexico where we had been before setting up camp quite a few times on some Friend’s land. The corridor was brightly lit as I also love that part of the country with winters not too harsh and same for summers. A perfect central location…

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All sounded so perfect. A 99 year lease on a little piece of their 80 acres. Power, water, sewer, cell phone reception, all there, present. A big city not too far within an hour reach of hospitals and Dr’s if and when needed, nice food stores, hardware stores, you name it. My Friends? The nicest people one could meet. The offer was not a financial attribute for them, it was offered from the kindness of their heart, a kindness which was always present as in years past. I even stumbled on a wonderful Mennonite family building cabins with a quality of craftsmanship I had never seen before. Only 40 miles away and reasonably priced they would deliver. Yet, deep down approaching I knew there was stored somewhere within me a certain hesitation I could not find its cause. But I had to go. Out of our way dropping South instead of moving on North as we always do throughout summer. I had to I kept repeating myself throughout the miles. I had to be "certain" one way or another. This is what would shape our upcoming winter.

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We would have a new Oasis within a couple of months! A carport for the camper and Old Faithful which I hope we can ride again when we pick it up from Texas by fall, a little cabin, maybe 12 x 16 this time, set up as a living room and even a futon for maybe Friends visiting. It is not going to happen as my previous hesitation turned into instead a stage of negative vibes while the worse of it all was for unknown reasons to this day. That is the worse part. Why? "I don’t know" but I do know to not go against such feeling. Wasted miles? Time? Not really. The price to pay for my certitude. How strange to this day I feel.

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So maybe some day, somewhere, Life will bring up another as such situation with positive vibes. A space for our years to come as age is creeping up on us. I will always be open to offers if they present themselves while for now truly homeless in welcoming Colorado.

Maybe one of you has the perfect spot for us?…. 

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We met Ken at the summit of Monarch Pass… 12,000 feet! Check out the website while he rides almost finishing his 10,000 miles cross country. At 57, he has himself beat brain Cancer twice. Quite the Human Being. His Birthday happens to be the same date Lance passed away… This is what again I call “Live Social Media”. Comforting and rewarding…

Stay well… Ara and Spirit