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“If only Society would support an appreciation for the uncertain nature of things, as the impermanence of Life is its beauty while knowing that nothing lasts forever, we would strengthen our motivation to cherish everything we have” [Kendo Essays]
I read a comment someone wrote me the other day following my last Journal entry which I always forget what it was about while I only live the moment and external news do not move me much, and if they do, they only open up a page filled with interrogation marks and consternation. He wrote “it is refreshing to always notice that you walk at the sound of your own drummer”. I have been thinking about it a lot, wondering who my “own drummer” is? as when I write be kind, loving and patient, it is towards others, yet, it starts with yourself. One cannot externalize such, at least I cannot, unless projecting those feelings towards myself. I actually take it a step further while I do maintain the fact that it is our responsibility to do so and find regardless where we are, in a valley or on a peak, the most happiness we deserve. None has to do with money, social media, possessions and even looks or what we drive or ride. It is all within.
I have to think that Life is always at its best whatever it dishes out and act upon it. At times a two by four hitting hard or a smooth and gentle wave, sometimes “something” in between while we are always the recipients. We then have the choice to respond with anger, madness, some choose insults, I prefer acceptance, kindness, love and patience. At times easy, often challenging, but I am assured from past experiences that the path becomes uncomplicated as it turns out to eventually be a way of life. Who wants a complicated Life? I always feel it is bad enough to travel its labyrinths and surmount too often its obstacles of bureaucracy and the tentacles of society. My own path these weeks past but gone today as we are back on the road. Patience pays off. Easy to say I was told the other day while I was “preaching” [me?] such a quality. Preaching is so easy, applying such words to ourselves is the hard part.
One of the most precious aspect of Life is indeed uncertainty. What a wonderful unhurried feeling it is to live even a single year in perfect serenity. We cannot live forever in this world; why should we wait and confront ugliness to overtake us? Such uncertainty is staring ahead of us as we have left Natchitoches. The same uncertainty had materialized when we arrived in weeks past with different plans as I can’t help myself repeating “seriously?”. There to visit our Friend, ride and camp, have great food, visit some more… Instead it was new hip hardware. And now, today, I gently ask to please allow new plans while headed West to take place! Please….
Ten years later when a decisive as now step is taken, there is still the evening before some excitement. Anticipation of new miles ahead, roads never taken, people never met. A certain mental and physical adventure for sure. I have come to terms [I think!] about not being able to ride yet. It is not as much the riding but the physical demands of tenting. Our camper followed by the trailer harboring Old Faithful is a happy~sad sight! And so we enjoy, have already these past two days, this shelter on wheels as a spoiling us as I know it will become more and more likable. What is there not to like as we pulled in today in the Davy Crockett National Forest [Texas] and within five minutes I was making a sandwich, washing my face and Spirit his eyes closed into a deep sleep and snoring!
We left the static of the urban brouhaha behind. The trains running in the middle of the night, the police and ambulance sirens, invariably as taking turns the mowers, edge trimmers and whatever else everyone uses with the joys of home ownership, dogs barking all night. And yes, earplugs were my saviors. The urban static was not only physical but also mental. I feel as being on the road attracts kindness as people are more content and connect like magnets. I already experienced it while meeting a Veterans who has given 26 years of his Life and more as his destroyed back, hips and knees from too many parachute jumps. A kind man who now besides being a train conductor [didn’t we all at some point wanted that job?] tries to help with much concern other veterans. Suicidal, depression, broke, hungry and homeless… They are all around us, more than 19 million men veterans and over 2 million women veterans. The numbers are astonishing as are the daily suicides. The studies suggests that 22 veterans per day commit suicide. On average, one every 65 minutes. Hard to wrap my thoughts around such statistics when the greed of too many robs them from better help and Life. Todd, yes, a kind man trying to save others one at the time. We had a wonderful and kind conversation.
We are in the forest. Texas pine trees surrounds us and through them I can see the reflection of the Lake not too far where we will hike soon, probably tomorrow. It is a simple landscape. Nothing stands out and yet nothing is erased. Golden right now as the sun is setting and throwing its hues on this stage. Silence has come back into our Life, my ears are buzzing from it and my head is pounding probably having forgotten how it use to be for most of these past ten years. I almost want to say that it is too quiet! It is not…
Morning has once again arrived. Reading over what I have written, something I always do, there is such a strong realization that we have nothing to complain about. None of us truly do. We can only change ourselves to try to gently confront these days ahead fortunate enough that we do have them facing us. I am thinking about what we are going to do these coming days, even today. Is doing “nothing” doing something? I feel as it is… Besides my own daily physical therapy twice a day, preparing a meal for the evening, reading, writing, maybe a few photos if the grey skies turn blue and sunny, nothing. It is the interest accrued from these years past. The other side of the coin from the hustle and bustle of work and so little sleep, so little time to dedicate towards ourselves, almost sprinting through life as we did without even seeing the shadow of the finish line. It is calm, so calm, so serene and as much as I live in the moment I don’t want it to end. It does not have to… It is once again a choice we have as everything else is.
Ara and Spirit