“Happiness is only real when honestly shared”… There is “stuff” on my mind…
I only have such luxury on these pages. Being, living on the road has unfortunately for most become an industry. I see it as a sad state of affairs but then again, to each its own, most everything these days through such an adamant media has turned into a money making opportunity. I cannot help this quote bringing on to me a couple words sometimes getting mixed up with a so called honesty, "sensationalism and commercialism", only because for some, happiness is shared as such. They are not true "shares" but more in your face aspects for as I have said it before, a stampede for that throne… The one with the "look at me" emblazoned in gold letters a bit above it. Could be a neon sign these days, what am I saying… digital. It is pretty much an ongoing taboo subject, a bit defiant, they are words too often meaning as the expression goes "pulling the wool over others eyes". Do I like controversy? Saying what others will not? Not really as most of all I like honesty. The truth sometimes, not necessarily all the times, the truth hurts in a manner which again drops it all down to that taboo level. How do I know all of this? I wish I did not as I miss the old days when news did not travel this fast and this close. But then again, what is the sense of uncovering other’s plots? None to tell you the truth. Only maybe make others realize they have been duped while biting into the pie waved in front of their nose, a piece of pie they will not get a refund for it, that is about it. I really don’t even want to know. No hear, no see, no say… Could I be the three monkeys all in one? And no, again, I cannot get to the point! I prefer to let the imagination of others flow freely.
It has been some time I have felt a fork on the road. An old one lingering. A fork having nothing to do with the above. On that road as we call it which had actually stopped throughout my surgery. It shifted in neutral for a while and at times now I cannot even find the right gear! The years of grieving have accumulated. The pot is full. One might think the octane of this persistence not straying from a path found I call therapy boosts itself up. It does sometimes and at other times not. I cannot find the answer as to why I have never felt so lonely which might be the reason those gears are just not engaging. Such statement in itself surprises me. Spirit is always more than ever on my side and Mother Nature quite often I must say spoils us. Yet, there are those waves, those 30 footers which slams onto me and I cannot even find the slightest fissure to grab myself onto.
I also lost my weather smartness this time around. Weather and radar aps have always helped. It does not seem they are this time around. Definitely as again we are caught in some rain and maybe even snow and cold nights in a couple days. I now prefer to be a bit warmer than colder! It use to be the other way around. I have become cautious. I think too cautious. The word "daring" is almost on the wayside. We came to Gunnison after Goblin Valley to pick up some mail and I decided to maintain an idle to regroup while I pour myself into maps and positive thoughts. Maybe some answers will face me. Gently I hope.
I find my Friends busier than ever. Detached. Is it me? Them? Or maybe that is just "Life"? I am happy for them, the ones alone are not anymore and I wish them well. Of course. Maybe the physical path for us has been for too many years the same as much as we have a resemblance of now total freedom. That was one of my thoughts this afternoon. I think I need "new". New as where? The East Coast including Labrador and Nova Scotia are suddenly too far as the weight of a new solar system of some sort when we return to The Oasis has made a dent in the budget. It is just "stuff" as I see it, but necessary "stuff". This is the one instance when asking myself before a purchase "can I live without it?" the answer comes back as a "no".
It is morning on the Lake. The rain has bounced of the roof all night. The power is going to struggle without the sun hitting the one 120W solar panel we have. It is that time to check the propane every morning to make sure we have refrigeration and heat. I try to catch the first bottle as soon as it empties and before it switches to the second one as that one is a real pain to change if it also drops to zero. No biggie. Town is only a few miles from here and some food shopping will not hurt. Living and traveling with a camper is so different than with a tent. Some aspects are simpler and some more complicated needing a certain daily discipline, a check list. Then again, there was always a check list, it is now only a different one. The comfort is present for sure and the similarity of cabin fever tent or camper is always present in bad weather.
The maps did not bring me any clairvoyance. Parts of the West coast attracts me. A beach. Staring into the horizon sounds peaceful. Has been a long time since on a beach. Maybe soon Northern California. "The Lost Coast". I have some mail coming to Salida! Wrong way. Mail joining us is always the hard part thinking we will be "there" but a few days later I want to change my mind and go the opposite direction. It is too late by that time! It has been so quiet here on the shores of Blue Mesa Lake or Reservoir as it is also called. There is only one other camper we spoke to yesterday. He has a similar camper to ours and I learned a few things from him as he also has lived on a sailboat for a few years, was a truck driver and a diesel mechanic. A immense source of knowledge. How else can we learn unless we honestly share? As he did. Yesterday was a true meaning of it and by the way, he has never been on the Internet.
We found a beach! One off the Ocean however with slow water trickling away in deep contrast with high mountains right next door with snow covered caps. "The Great Sand Dunes National Park". We normally would not be found camping in a National Park but this one is quiet. The spaces are tight and the big 50′ campers do not fit which means no outdoor entertainment system blasting until the wee hours of the mornings! It is a strange land. One Mother Nature has whipped up as a must see geological oddity within this most enigmatic Valley. It was a last minute decision, almost as the map highlighted itself while pulling away from near by Gunnison. It always happens that way. It teaches me to not lose faith as I did in regard to our route. Of course we have not experienced "everything"! It is only that sometimes I feel as we have. Wrong.
"This place is so weird" they say. How true that is while describing not only the 30 square-mile field of Dunes but also the isolated and underdeveloped San Luis Valley that surrounds it. Geologically its birth which beginning 35 million years ago was of a violent one when volcanic eruptions created the San Juan Mountains and subsided 16 million years later when the Rio Grand Rift shifted to expose the valley floor. The Dunes estimated to have began forming 440,000 years ago would turn out to be 750 feet tall, making them the highest sand Dunes on this continent. They are sculptures of art. Each day, yet not seen to the naked eye, Mother Nature ever so slightly tweaks the angles and changes the way light and shadow dance on the sand.
Will be watching them for a few days…
Stay well, Ara and Spirit