“What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness.”
~ John Steinbeck [Travels with Charley]
I find it ironic after all these years to find myself alone with a dog… my Human, my true only Family. Yes, I have a few good Friends, many acquaintances, but nothing can replace a close knit Family. I miss Family Love. Don’t take it for granted if you have it. These steroids lately have induced a chemical unbalance which I am so aware of coming from someone who does not drink, do drugs and eats healthy. My body screams as my mind goes into a depression which was so familiar in years past but today fighting it is hard as it is, has been, artificially and chemically induced. All the quotes I remember play over and over, pages and pages of writing come to mind. Life has become as a funnel we are coming out of from that narrow bottom spout, solitaire, alone here as no one surrounds us. I think leaving soon, as soon as some parts for Old Faithful arrive, is going to be good for us. I think for a change we need the company of some good people especially while we will be heading out to be with some very close Friends for a few weeks.
Serenity, Peace, quiet, utmost silence surrounds us here. Just about daily the storms are as never experienced before. The lightning, the thunder, inches of rain and the heat has been tolerable while definitely seeking for shade in the afternoon. So this is how summer is in Big Bend! I understand it is an unusual one. The few times we go to Terlingua, the town is deserted and we bump into only the true locals we chat with a bit. Everyone has the same opinion. They love summer in Big Bend. It is a different little town, almost as lost off the map while the snow birds and the tourists are absent. We can go from here to there without seeing a single car! I understand it all now as the semi residents will soon come back and funny enough will act as they belong here when in reality they do not since they have not paid that price of a "summer in Big Bend"! The social events will again take place. The egos and the path of self gratification also once again will leave their imprint in fonts on the screens, that will be the winter layer, one so totally absent right now as we live through the core, the real Life of this space so undisturbed, so calm and so real.
One more part today and Old Faithful "should" be ready. As she ran last evening I have already noticed I did, must have, done something wrong. I am not the greatest mechanic especially when it comes to electrical gremlins and as we still have time here while keeping an eye on the voltage, I know it has to come apart one more time. Not today! Not tomorrow! Next week is true summer in the forecast. If I was smart I would do it this weekend but I am not. Early morning would be good but that is the time when my body feels like this old engine running on three cylinders with a broken choke while sputtering for all to come to temperature. The warm up time is not just a few minutes but sometimes close to an hour. Once in gear, all warmed up the parts seem to be moving quite nicely. More patience needed and I must be grateful for the day while by then running on all four cylinders.
I knew that the procedures a couple weeks ago were only a band aid to some deeper problems but I am hoping to make it through the summer and fall and maybe bite the bullet for surgery next winter. Get it over with as I have received many emails from others having new hips, spine surgery, all very happy about the results. My new seat arrived yesterday which raises me up an extra one and half inches and the comfort of it is incredible. Of course we went on a for a hundred miles or so getting back here late close to midnight and this morning, comfort seat or not, the body rebelled a bit harder before functioning as it should be. I am starting to call it my warm up time!!! Acceptance again has come into play. It is what it is as I know it could be much worse. I have noticed Spirit also is a bit slower in the early mornings when he first gets up. He is still doing great for being ten years old but I know him well enough to notice! Ten years together. Mind over matters. It is just the bodies we have recognizing them wearing down. The minds are intact! Or are they?
So this is true summer now as every day is over 100 degrees! Blanket needed in the middle of the night. This is true Desert weather. It is going to be as such for a few more days. 100 is hot! 104 much hotter. It is the tease of Mother Nature making me believe summer will be cool here. Not so as she turned the page and started a new chapter. But I got used to the 90’s and I was smiling thinking how cold I am going to feel this winter! Old Faithful is apart one more time, not by choice but because of a fuel leak. I think, not too sure though, I know the culprit and while up early again tomorrow morning I will put it back together one more time and see what happens. I am finding future issues which I cannot fix right now to prevent their breakage. Maybe she also needs a shot of steroids!
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Stay well, Ara and Spirit