“Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish”
~ John Quincy Adams ~
“Old Faithful’s” battery is dead… awaiting for a new one. The cameras have not left their bags… The pictures are now ancient, good memories to reminisce on as this too shall pass… How will the new hip be? Like “new”… right?
I don’t even know if we are into summer yet as it is starting to heat up. Who would have guessed we would still be here? I don’t even know why anymore I am writing only to try to keep the moral up high. Let my Friends know what is going on. I feel fortunate to have shade here. Such a simple aspect of Life has become a big "present" as in "gift". I am counting the days for my next appointment. 9… Seems like many of them and I remember the fact that in a not so distant past, 9 days was nothing! Human Nature does not cease to amaze me. And no, I am not a drug addict… yet! Still too funny to even think about that past comment warning me. I would gladly exchange the pain for such thought!Phone calls have not produced any changes in appointments days. We wait. Nighttime and daytime are getting mixed up. I need to remember to eat while on my medications which are not doing much for me, yet, I am sure would be much worse without them.
I miss the road. I miss the Northern States which always welcomed us with their cool weather, summer mountain storms, sometimes even visiting Friends we only see once a year. What is the lesson here? I have no clue. I have never taken this Journey for granted. I have always felt fortunate to have chosen this path in years past to alleviate and give me the ability to handle a pain of a loss never hidden in the shadows. And now? Maybe teaching me more patience? I am so aware of the fragility of Life, I don’t need new chapters depicting such aspect, but here they are. We wait some more.
We are fortunately driving. Boring of course to me even if Spirit seems to like it. I have not heard a sigh from him yet. He runs out in the fields here while I cannot keep up with him. He stops often, turns around, looks at me and I can see in his eyes that hope that I am also going to run. He gives up and goes along doing his thing. He is eating well again and with this heat, 104 degrees in Terlingua today, he is drinking a lot as he should, as I myself do. I have one more Friend that has come back a few miles from here while finishing building a little house he is going to sell and his help is also so appreciated. I cannot lift much more than one gallon of water and transferring from the bigger jugs as simple as it may sound is such a big help. The same with my propane bottles. Amazing how the smallest details of Life have become tasks I cannot do.
We drove to Terlingua today and returned right before the storm arrived, the one almost daily. I always wanted to experience the "Summer Storms of Big Bend". My desire and wish have become my reality. The roads are now different, totally empty of traffic! Who in their right mind would come here to camp? Luckily we are a bit above 3500 feet and the 104 in Terlingua corresponds to 94 here, here which I call Big Bend Flats. I don’t know if it is the right name but I like it as I heard it called as such quite a few times. The town itself was deserted. The fuel pumps had no wait, I did not see anyone walking around. We stopped at the only grocery store and bumped into some locals who I knew. The ones that always spend the summer here. So strange… I felt as being part of a Club! The tough ones. The ones I always ask when we come back here for the winter "and how was your summer?". I guess I won’t be asking that question comes September.
It is actually not bad! 90+ in the shade has become tolerable. I want to say almost with a smile that it is "cool". I already know that I am getting used to it. Clouds, storms, rain, all brings on some coolness and I understand now the feedback that I got all along. There are no tourists, no sightseers, I almost feel "tough"! Under our roof I heard from a Friend the other day "it feels like we have air conditioning!"
Something changed today. A reinforcement from my inner feelings surfaced. How many accept what is thrown at them, instead wave their arms in a kind of an anger, their faces turning color with words not so kind. I stopped fighting today as I found it to be so illogical. I do take steps towards this present making sure the flow is in accordance with this trajectory as for example on our way again to Ft Stockton to have done the proper MRI which was the wrong one the last time. I make many phone calls trying to change my appointments [with no success!] but the biggest acceptance is the fact that we are indeed here for the duration. We went last night to a wonderful Pot Luck gathering at our neighbors [I did not cook!]. The real locals were present. The ones who are going to spend their summer here. We had lamb, venison, salads and tasty deserts! As the food, the conversations were in abundance and all felt good.
Many asked me what are we doing here! I had to explain even though my walking was in itself the image of an explanation! I started realizing there was no discomfort being here, mentally and physically. Besides the hip! We have it made. Just different from summers past and why not gladly experience it all. Last night was as the last piece of the puzzle fitted into our lives so properly. I actually was happy being here, doing something for the very first time. Something I often thought about but never did. It is Home, name with upper key "H"… I am still a Florida resident and soon will be taking the steps to change it all to Texas including Spirit’s! He will be a Texas Dog! There will always be a next summer, a coming fall, spring again. The cycle never stops. Right now, it is here, now and so much looking forward to having these hips or hip all fixed up for Old Faithful to carry us again.
I cannot spend my nights and days with an upside down smile while my inner thoughts are complaining about being here. Yes, the pain is not very friendly while I limp, while steps are right foot first. The pain has dropped from a level of 20 to a 10 on a scale of 10. I would not want to spend the rest of my Life as such but somehow one gets used to it. For now. The entire entity of the body faces me. I am looking forward to whatever fix will take place. I am looking forward to serious physical exercises ensuing. I think I did take the body for granted these past years! I know winter lingered within us definitely without the RPM of the other seasons. Another lesson learned.
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Stay well, Ara and Spirit