“A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.”
~ Roald Dahl ~
“Freedom on Both Ends of the Leash”, our Book, is now available autographed through us for $24.99 [$19.99 + $5 S&H, Continental 48 States] by clicking the photo links on top of this page. [PayPal accepting all cards]. It is also available through Amazon in paperback or as a Kindle download. All other electronic formats are also available.
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After a total black out which lasted days in Big Bend, here we are! In Alpine… Winter storm has passed us but no fuel, no power, no phones, no Internet, not even the SAT phone works. Back to the basics as it use to be. I must say, it was enlightening… Were we prepared? Of course.
It is Christmas Eve, afternoon actually, a time when around the World most everyone is rejoicing for more reasons than one. Here, only the wind is blowing in this barren desert of Big Bend, there are no signs enticing a Christmas, yet I must. I must get into the spirit. Maybe that is what the couple birds hanging around my water catchment gutter are telling me. I cannot hide it that these are still very difficult times. I don’t and cannot wear a mask. The memories linger, I do smile at them, I do also get angry. I feel robbed from what maybe was owed to me. Was it? Is it again all part of this huge acceptance we need to encounter? I did go to a Christmas gathering. A nice one but I felt out of place and left early. Maybe the stars were not aligned for me to enjoy the festivities, the music. I did enjoy the food!
Today is the first day my back pains are so slowly going away. Talking about taking the simplest things for granted!!! I feel like a Child taking its first steps. Is it true? I can again maybe attempt to do this or that? Patience. My thoughts go on the road. Upper keys "THE ROAD"! I knew making a shelter here for the future years would take time, I just didn’t know it would take this long as I am now waiting for some help due on January 5th to finish laying down these tiles I cannot carry anymore. [Edit. He never showed up…] I did not know either it would bring on feelings I was unaware of. A certain sense of permanency which I don’t do well with.
Luckily my sleeping bag is out for repair! It almost feels as Murphy’s law wants to keep me still as I realize and taste that there is nothing like being daily on the road. There is no camper, no RV, no trailer that can replace a tent and the bags tied down scattered on Old Faithful. Nothing. The simplicity of it all, the surprise element as to where we will be, who we will meet, the ride from point A to point B versus trailering and setting up base camp, all are always part of this experience unlike any other. Of course there are hard days being at the mercy of the weather, but we have always made it.
That feeling is lingering as the days are passing by. I now know it, it is a certainty. I am not ready for this, what I would call the "normal" Life. I am a Gypsy at heart. All this is just too comfortable without any true character of association with Mother Nature. It is not a home yet, not totally, but this is how most live and it just does not agree with me. There is a loss of something I cannot put my finger on. I am not bored as there is much to do, I just do not enjoy it. The steps have to be taken though. I think today I will be able to finish the insulation of the cabin. That 10×14 mansion I am calling "The Cave" even though not looking like one at all. I know that most likely none of this makes any sense.
Then will come the paneling, painting, a carpet, put up this multicolor parachute as a ceiling, a sofa, desk, chair and a lamp. I wonder if I will spend anytime in it? Some day maybe. Old Faithful has been idle, even Spirit has who is not been getting the attention he use to since I am busy. I so much feel for the ones building a real house themselves. I think that would drive me crazy to say the least. Well, morning coffee is behind me, time to wear that white painter’s suit and get on dealing with insulation hoping I don’t fall off the ladder!
It is now 2015 and as much as I do not make New Year’s resolutions, this one has clicked with me. Once again, acceptance. It is silly to turn my back on something I need to do. Need. Why? That need is not mental, quite the opposite, it is physical as these days a cold snap has descended upon us. Everything is frozen and today I am happy to have some heat for us. I have to look forward to finishing this cabin, the choice of this mental attitude is always mine. Why fight it? It is indeed an intermission in our Journey after all these years. Once again, acceptance. A word a good Friend of mine [Thank You Brenda…] brought it up to my attention when my Mother passed away and that dark tunnel once again faced me. That word stuck with me.
I did not wear my white painter’s suit, instead we went to the Park to check out the frozen fog at Panther’s Junction. What a sight that was while being at the right place at the right time. Mother Nature so delicate even if it’s colors were muted for the day and it’s sun barely showing up in between the darker clouds. I am now filled with new enthusiasm I must say enjoying this rest and doings for those future days. Why not enjoy it while I can? A New Year can be just another year but this time around has given me a clarity I had lost these past weeks.
So many think Life on the road is of a harsh one. It is. I feel Life in a home is even harsher though! This I know does not make sense to many, it is all about the freedom to move around without a destination per say. New Year’s eve has also come and gone and we are in 2015 now. I cannot use the word "hope" when I say it will be a good year. "Hope" always meaning to me as having two doors ahead. One positive and one negative. All is what we make of it meaning we will have a good New Year. It really is up to us. Happy New Year.
Stay well, always.
Ara and Spirit