“I beg you to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves…Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now…the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now.”
~ Rainer Maria Rilke ~
My anticipation had been building up. I have never written a Book before and I am not strong in logistical research, in being a copycat or for that matter attending those various “seminars” even if so on line given by past by what they like to call themselves “Overlanders” on how to write a Book the proper way, with the dots properly aligned here and there. I don’t follow rules as such very well or want to. It is just a Book, meaning to me a compilation starting at page one to page ? I was wrong.
Of course “things” do not take a path as thought as I find that aspect filled with as mentioned “anticipation”. It has been a few days easing into it and already a left has turned into a right, a bit as the same being on the road with some U turns unexpected. I must say, truly and honestly, I am enjoying the process taking up and reading my own notes from as far back as 7 years and adding today the unfiltered thoughts which to my amazement has been brought back with a memory so vivid of past times and their daily reoccurrences. This Book will not be a condensed mirror copy of our Journal. It is taking a Life of it’s own. The timing could not have been better, the space neither.
A couple more days have passed and the writing is fulfilling, not the logistics. This is now more than a complete U turn as checking into formatting, a book as an eBook I am… can’t find the word for it. “Bewildered”? I guess I like that word! It is a big “Wow” as there is such a huge difference between what they call “formatting” for pages on line and printed pages. My problem is, I just don’t understand the terms. A submitted eBook does not even go through a Human aspect but is published by another software which will reject in a heartbeat if anything does not follow the rules.
One has to start on the right foot unlike much copy and paste I am use to as I wrote much on my phone using the Evernote software. There is so much more than meet the eyes. There is the behind the scene invisible formats the publishing software will pick up as mistakes to only reject what could be months of writing. There will be help, I don’t have much of a choice towards this personal project.
In the meantime the days here are passing by as we are stepping into this no-time zone. The weather is cooling off, finally a wool hat and fleece jacket early mornings and after sunset. I feel alive after a day where the sun is still shining a bit stronger for this time of the year. A bit of cooking here and there, setting up a new outdoor kitchen, waiting on some tubes for three flat tires on our little cart, attending a BBQ a few miles from here as “The Terlingua Shelby Racing Team” had a pit stop, riding a few miles, not much, and daily exercises for this non sense of a back and sciatica situation which I must say is getting better. There is hope. Much of it.
“The Oasis” here is shaping up meaning cleaning up some trash blown from past storms. There is really not much else to do besides also trying to increase the size of our solar system allowing me to stay up later on through the long nights of winter right around the corner. I received some e mails asking me to not drop these pages. I will not and yet we are not going much of anywhere. It is not a possibility to focus much on the present when I am reliving through my own words these past years I am trying to put down in a different format.
I am finding myself being impatient and the level of frustration is rising. Again the logistics when no one can explain me certain aspects of it. I knocked on a few doors and I realize there is not even any phone support available, only pre written replies which brings me back to the unknown. Maybe I was born too early to understand all this jargon. I am finally understanding my own frustration only because I have not dealt per say with the real world for a long time and these present Life’s moments have changed from my own moments of the past when Humans still corresponded and explained each other some facts when ignorant as I am. So I have to keep knocking!
And I will.
A Dinner and a Show and a tired Spirit!
Ara and Spirit