Resting in New Mexico doing… nothing. Much needed.
“You don’t know it yet but your ability to feel and to notice things that are beyond the reach of most people, is your Gift. Sure, it will cause you lots of hardship and make you question whether you are meant to be here, it will undoubtedly make you question your worth and possibly lead to you decide countless times that the World would be a better place without you, but it is not so. The World has always had a surplus of talkers; but there has been a lack of people who feel; who plumb the depths of the Soul and tell how much Beauty there is in the World. You matter. It will hurt, and it will be frustrating, but believe in the notion that you do matter, because you do, and make sure you let your unique insights and vision be heard, because the World needs more than a thousand sports stars or socialites. You matter”
~ Tom Harvey ~
Sometimes the days are as a shooting Star. As the one I witnessed at “The Oasis” the second night there. It was a fat white Star, real fat. It’s tail I could see the colors. I still can see them. Blue, yellow and a rusty orange. Fatter than the Star itself. It then exploded and the rays themselves shot every which way. That is the physical description. I have no words for how I felt, those moments which I call a “miracle’ of Nature. There are no words. There was no time throughout for a wish but only two words I always exclaim when such a traveler in the skies I see. “Maman”… “Lance…”. It appeases me, it gives me hope of a future reunion when the time will be right.
Sometimes the Stars of Life themselves are properly aligned and rumble one’s days such as mine lately. My good Friend carries me heavily these days. So much so I have thought being a burden and selfish more than anything else. She has proved me to the contrary as also I will be there for her “listening” and “talking” if in times of need. We have never met. Isn’t it odd? Strange maybe? There is no instant gratification as this World mostly demands within these I would call “troubled times”. There are the wise words and thoughts. The ones skating thinly on a two way avenue. As she writes “If it took two years for you to feel resemblance when Lance died, don’t expect 5 months to cure this hurt.~ Never feel sorry for, as you put it, dumping all this on me. Because as I have said many times before, that’s what a good Friend is for. I am always ready to listen and offer sometimes useless advice, and other times, something that might really help”. The rest? I have to work it out on my own.
We stopped at the “Salinas Pueblo Missions” off Highway 55 south of Mountainair. Much interesting History and remains. Some of the Photos are below.
I hope you have such a Friend if only one. I have been asked many times as it seems these present pages have helped many, “who helps you?”. It has been reading, thinking, thinking mostly even if sometimes the path of this Life can be so illogical. Thinking on words Friends enounce clearing up a bit those murky glass pane windows which at times surrounds us. I now feel fortunate to have such a Friend who “listens” and also “talks”. So I talked and listened myself these past days. Talking, expressing the wonders of a taken path does not mean it is of an easy one even if it makes sense. The pages can be printed from an Author, yet, that same Author might be in need of another one for such to become reality.
I wrote from my Heart to a Mother and a Father who have just in front of them lost their Son. What do you say? as myself went back thinking about my own first days of stupor and numbness. I don’t expect any of my words will make any sense to them these days, but they are there. Maybe they will bring in a spark of comfort. Maybe. I hope so much as so much I feel for them. I know their own road now is of a long one and more than a bumpy ride. Maybe they will “talk” back some day when they are ready and we can then help each other, truly comfort each other as much as, again, not much makes any sense. And they did.
I met a Young Lady today while waiting at a tire store. It was today and yet I cannot remember how the conversation stumbled on the loss of her own Mother around the same time as mine and her desire to get on the road exploring Nature and Life as we do. Find some answers, stop asking some questions. It does not matter really. It was a meeting of chance, not of a coincidence. It was designed to be so. It was as communicating with another I have known for an eternity, it was as spelling out and weaving the core of our own Journey as she too well understood as such as if she had been waiting for an opening on her own path. It was as that shooting Star exploding and making sense fitting so nicely like a piece of a puzzle in her own Life. I wish her well as she is full of awareness, intelligence and understanding only awaiting for time to sharpen her own present moments.
So that is Life on the road. It does not have much to do with a motorcycle or anything truly physical for that matter as Mother Nature takes care of it showing off her always beauty throughout the canvas she lays out in front of us. The Journey becomes so much of an inner one defiant from any interferences one could be subjected in an Urban setting where the noise, the pollution, the vibes from the masses anxious and nervous and in a hurry trying to slide through their own miniature path so narrow and overcrowded the mind cannot even think clearly. I feel for those who can only listen and yet not talk as if their outgoing thoughts are locked in with a fear of expressing themselves. It is sad mostly, it is as on a one way street which will never come back as the chance of expression never takes place.
Open up Friends. We need each other. Throw away the fear of the fear and let your own pages be seen and felt and heard from others as in turn you will read and hear their own and that in itself will enrich your own Life. It does ours.
“Small minds can’t comprehend big Spirits. To be great you have to be mocked, hated and misunderstood. Stay Strong”
Ara and Spirit