Paragraphs of Daily Thoughts and much Mental Therapy. Photos. Sometimes Videos. Published Weekly or so.
“Men come and go, cities rise and fall, whole civilizations appear and disappear-the earth remains, slightly modified. The earth remains, and the heartbreaking beauty where there are no hearts to break….I sometimes choose to think, no doubt perversely, that man is a dream, thought an illusion, and only rock is real. Rock and sun.”
~ Edward Abbey ~
I am loosing track of time already. It is a good sign. It is a bit as if the tree fell in the forest and no one was there… Would it make a sound? Is time really time? Or are we just here? I just looked at the date on this phone and tomorrow is already the 4th of July. I think we shall go to Stanley and watch the parade. I like small town parades. They try their hardest. The trees here have their Independence, the ones which have not been cut down to end up in a fire ring, so do the birds and the squirrels all chirping as they do every morning. The ground is soaked from some tenacious thunderstorms which have cooled the weather into a more than comfortable zone. I am liking this Redverz tent more and more. I cannot see ourselves living in a different dwelling. It is home, it is shelter, a kitchen and a living room.
Yesterday was a good day. A full one. Shower, Hot Springs, laundry and fishing for dinner. The tip of this dredged pond was right on target as we came back with 6 trout. Not the biggest ones, yet dinner was served in again an excellent manner. We shall go back. There is no thoughts about moving. I have fallen in love with this area. Everything we need is here, the Soul is being replenished by the day. There is an incredible sense of comfort as "this is where we belong right now". The Sawtooth Mountains were not a mistake. This primitive site away from others was not neither. We got lucky as by now glimpses of white Rv’s and campers can be seen while traveling the back roads. A few days and those also will be gone.
We did fit right in yesterday. We met so many interesting locals and also others passing through. If winters were not the harshest here there is no doubt of a population explosion. I am even thinking about maybe housesitting here for those months, hole ourselves up to write this Book I have been meaning to for the past eternity. Just a thought. One of many I have as I so much feel as being confronted by a fork of this road facing us and yet knowing this could be and is the worse time for a decision. So we ride the wave.
The Parade was a success. The local colors were of many. I cannot help it all reminding me of Terlingua in a tamer fashion. A smaller scale. Children were out by the dozen running around picking up the candy thrown their way, the dogs even were parading happy to be out on this summer day, a change for them from the past snow and future ones upcoming not too far away. Music and food afterwards, dancing. I always wonder how they hold up as on our end I have Spirit spoiled with fair weather all year round. I think it is time for breakfast, then on saddle up with the fishing rod packed and see if I can again catch dinner and some photos. Just another day in Stanley’s path. Not a bad one at all.
I reminisce on the knowledge acquired throughout these past almost seven years. So much reading, reading from books and Friends writing wise words opening up the windows towards a kinder Soul, so many met and meaningful conversations exchanged, some not. Quite a few that have disappeared after cutting my ties writing for magazines, attending rallies as they were not the true Friends but sadly enough the ones only wanting to rub elbows for their own crown even if no such crown exists, so many sights and spaces experienced through senses developing themselves to surprisingly new heights. Our bonding Spirit and I as never imagined as two into one. The physical routine polished daily with better ways establishing our set up. Highs and lows as Life demands, the intersections appearing endlessly without asking and at times so demanding for a decision. Would I trade for anything else? Would I desire another stage? Not today.
This was the path chosen out of desperation. The one embraced when cornered with nothing else to loose but myself. This is the Gift chosen without ever knowing throughout those past times it would lead us to such a wealth and understanding of Life even if still at times I question it’s validity realizing luckily and quickly the non sense of such thoughts. It is process that has a beginning and yet I feel no end. The more I know, the more I think and the less I know as some questions only have no answers, only a blank reply filled with one word: "acceptance".
Maybe today was as false alarm as we are still here. Still. Up in the sky the clouds are racing each other as I move like Spirit does from shade to shade enjoying the coolness of this month of July. My compass is put away, I don’t know which way they are going, only know that the surface winds are blowing the other way and the natural combination has kept me here now reading another good book. And one more time we both move again amidst the scent of the pine trees and a dirt still humid from the past thunderstorms, seemingly a daily occurrence, and a welcomed one. As I stand up I can see that further away, over the peaks of the mountains surrounding us the clouds have taken a much more somber attitude. It will not be long before they crack open their walls and let us have what they have been storing all day.
So slowly my inner anger towards this last Life’s chapter is vanishing. My Mother’s own words are reverberating. All she always wanted me to have was a good healthy Life and I cannot let her down. It happened yesterday as a strike of a moment while looking in a mirror putting some ointment around a sore eye I saw her own eyes looking at me. It was odd, almost shocking and penetrating. I saw the resemblance, I felt her Love, her care and as always her worry towards my Lifestyle. The mirror talked to me in words of present times with thoughts of past times yet promises for the future. The exchange woke me up, softened me as truly there she was never gone and if maybe she was, she has come back and will indeed always be with me. Mirror… Mirror…
Ara and Spirit