“Paragraphs of Daily thoughts, a bit of mental therapy, published weekly or so…”
“A true friend is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everyone else believes the smile on your face.”
~ Author unknown ~
Sometimes my writing is unpleasant, a bit dark maybe, triggered by motions happening around us just unable to control with any better sense but writing about it. Good Days are ahead with much camping in the Parks [Both National and State] unlike before is awaiting. It is a bit of a winter time project to photograph those Parks in angles not quite previously done. It is all here, it is our "Own Backyard", your "Backyard". For now.
”Spend time with the ones you love and live with passion and without regrets. Not all stories have happy endings and some lives are shorter than you might expect.”
~ Bill Green ~
A great rendition of "Chopin’s Song" by "Etienne Gervot".
It still amazes me about my own dislike of loose ends. Is it maybe having been a perfectionist all my previous Life? As this one is suppose to be a new one? Or is it? Has it been? One cannot change suddenly, yet six years later, constantly covered with dust, dirt, grease and grime, mostly torn clothes, [by choice of the environment], some aspects still disturbs me when they are not "tidy", for lack of a better word. Some of it is the mechanical figure of our mobility and some the trust with my Friends. As in the first, an oil change past due, valves needing the attention of a feeler gauge, a tire wearing out as my mind battles it’s change. The road is our garage. We are at the mercy of any shelter we can find to accomplish such tasks. That is if and when the weather cooperates while trying such undertaking in a desolate space without freezing or sweating beads dripping in the oil pan. I guess I still like the dots on the i’s. Sometimes it is also the "illusions" portrayed and not tidy, from strangers could be, from also at times a Friend.
We have been on the road these past few days. 2300 miles in six days. Too much, too fast. "The Oasis" like a magnet was calling me back. To hurry. Quickly. A notion in normal times we never undertake. It has been uneventful only because my mind was also as such and if there is such a thing, it was an abrupt round trip to Wyoming retrieving Old Faithful which to my disenchantment could not give me a sound. Dead battery, real gone. We pushed it on the trailer which happened to be on an easy angle. New battery purchased in Ft Collins and we will wait to arrive for the install. BMW has always liked to make things difficult such as the fuel tank needing to be removed for such a task. Not difficult really, just a pain I should say. While visiting some good Friends however, the above subject came up, the true meaning of being "On the Road" and not about "illusions" and "smoking mirrors".
It is really important to lay the grounds and express with much meaning the fact that one can only do what they can within their own reasons dictated by their own Lives. The Wishes, the Dreams, the Projects, they often have to wait or sometimes as it is in our case, they appear following a Life changing tragedy, yet, also could be a falling of means as maybe winning the Lottery. It is OK, alright, acceptable, adequate, sufficient and even fair to go on doing what one can. This is one of those rare times I write as such because I have felt lately as landing barefooted on a stage, a floor laminated with coarse sand paper.
We have many Friends. Our Friends have many definitions, the word "Friend" itself does as such to me. The characterizations and interpretations are created with time and with the amount of trust they project and vice versa. The sand paper has rubbed raw my feet because of a broken trust and that is one aspect that hurts the most as it is so much related to such Friend creating, trying so hard, "illusions" of what is not. I am probably loosing myself here unable to express my true meaning with only the hope all of this makes any sense.
"We", "ourselves", Spirit and I, "One Face" as we are as I have written as such a while back, are not an "illusion" or "smoking mirrors". Some content of our path has been taken away without a permission, as the expression in French calls it "fais accomplis". Meaning "doing", "taking", and only then on asking. "Hey… I borrowed some of your Photos…", finding out in time lapse a recipe being used for a presentation. "Sure, I will give you credit…". It is not the photos, it is not the recipes, it is a "principle" communities need to follow, respect and keep in their Heart versus "take and take…" to create for themselves a "mirage" of a reality absent yet so nice if able to portray as such. One needs to ask foremost out of due respect of a Friendship or even as such if it is a stranger.
Well, I am sure I will get over it! It has been disappointing, maybe out of my own fault not realizing soon enough such ongoing path. Not the first time, probably will not be the last. Better get use to it. Seemingly already am I think. "Let go…", sometimes the hardest thing to do. Writing helps. It is as a transfer from one compartment into another. Turning the page, a new Chapter as truly it is at this moment while "Old Faithful" and "Crusty" are finally together. In the big scheme of things, really, what difference will it make in our Life. None. Just lessons always learned. Tighten up, know who your true Friends are as they are indeed many, the ones with no expectations and a genuine open Heart and feelings, honest and true to it all. Yes, we have many of those and are fortunate to be so.
So, here it is to Great Friendships, Honest and Trustworthy, Mother Nature and her constant Gifts and also to "Eudaimonia". [Yes, it is my new found word].
Of course now Spirit also wanted a 2013 Calendar with “Old Faithful”. These are some of the Photos included. Two choices… “Landscapes” or “Spirit and ‘Old Faithful’”. Enjoy and “Thank You”.
Ara and Spirit