“My Daily thoughts, a mental Therapy at times published.”
“The Natives are restless. The World is a Zoo. The gate keepers are long gone and the locks are broken.”
~ Author Unknown ~
Another beautiful tune from “Sarah McLachlan” titled “Full of Grace”. The Album is called “Surfacing”
The coffee is of a bitter one this morning, it is instant. Yet gratifying. Dinner last night was late and only of a bread and cheese, fruit. Delicious it was. As in and out of conscientiousness within a state of mind called jet lag, the roots of my present ancestry ahead of me were fulfilling every second of our conversations. The ones with my Mother. The walls, the shelves, where else? All adorned with Family photos. Our Lance, my Mother, Grand Parents, myself. A Mecca of my own past times, the walls of a Sanctuary of ancient times, times with many years already added to them. The hours have been a balancing act and yet morning quickly has arrived as a faint light is coming through the windows of this cozy apartment nested on a third floor in downtown Munich.
I have woken up many times feeling Spirit next to me, his scent of a dog needing a bath, the faint cries and barks at times of his own dreams, the sound of his tail wagging hard as a wire hitting the floor, but none was present as I opened my eyes without even a need to turn on a light. I wondered how he was feeling missing me as I have to step up to the plate myself missing him. Maybe there will already be from him an e mail today when I go to town and come across some Wi-Fi, call as a worse scenario. We are two so much having becoming one breathing each other’s air and sharing each other’s space unlike any one else in my present Life. We exchange words only through silence and looks from each other’s eyes.
My Dear and Sweet Mother. How needed such meeting this has been already I can feel. Amazing Lady at 85 going on by herself throughout her own Life as with good Health physical and mental could be expected. She has not changed much if any, she is however reminding me suddenly only faintly of my Grand Mother. Her hearing has a bit diminished strangely enough only in the English language and so for the benefit of both of us we engage our conversations in French, my maternal language, the one where words can truly express every nuances of feelings and thoughts.
The minutes are going by as my Mother is still asleep and I walk around glancing at the photos, the many memorabilias scattered so neatly on the shelves and little cases with glass doors. I see Lance in his crew cut of his single digit years. I see him with his favorite plain white T shirt while blossomed into the beautiful young man he had turned into. My Mother is next to him. I see myself with my past curly hair and only a mustache I have always had, there was a true happy smile from past times when Life seemed so innocent.
My grand parents are here, and my favorite one of all time, my Grand Father. The Poet, the Writer, the one with his accomplished Dream of his own weekly Newspaper enduring the 50 years span of publication when of a Life in Cairo, Egypt. The Man who spoke his mind and made many enemies! I guess unlike myself he did not pick his own battles but as a rock standing up confronted them all with his piercing words and free mind of a true "freedom" substance. I remember him so gentle though. I remember him waking me up so early every morning to cook enough food for his basket we took to work empty on arrival while we fed all the dogs and cats in every alley on the way.
I remember my Grand Mother exasperated while again together my Grand Father and I brought on a Homeless every night to share our dinner. So much those days were filled with instances which today are the smiling and vivid memories of years past. All brought forward to Here and Now, these walls I could call a true Home. A true Home where yet I know I cannot call it as such as I belong to another vast Home with no walls thousands of miles away with my Buddy Spirit and a couple vehicles filled with such distinct personalities.
The days are moving on here. The gray ceiling has finally made room for some blue skies, a welcome reprieve as we are planning a couple outings away from town. Yesterday "was" town. I have to write down how to get around as to not get lost when on my own as my Mother cannot stay out too long. It hit me yesterday as barely out a couple hours she needed to come back. Eighty five Years is getting up there, it is the present realization. Her pride makes her hang on to the accomplishment of her needs, we are so far away in thoughts of our own each present reality and yet so close to an unspoken truth. It is a bit Bitter Sweet, it is as suddenly the Movie of Life has moved on at an incredible fast forward speed.
I don’t know much what to say about downtown while lost on a Saturday in a wave of a crowd where such towns like Terlingua would fit in and more. Bumper to bumper, wrong, elbow to elbow I had to finally escape. I can just imagine the stage throughout Oktoberfest. Must then be cheek to check.
In my effort to stay on the road “we” now have a T Shirt and Merchandise store. I think you will like it: “Spirited Oasis”
“Smugmug” for Photos and Digital downloads.
The recipes are on the “One~Pan Recipe” section.
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