“My Personal Daily Therapy, published Weekly or so…”
“Insist on yourself; never imitate.
Your own Gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole Life’s culmination; but of the adopted talent of another you have only an extemporaneous half possession…
Do which is assigned to you, and you cannot hope too much or dare too much.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~
“Farewell” as it has been from this past recent weekend. It is always yet “till next time”. By “Rosie Tomas” from her Album “When We Were Small”. I think we still are. Very small.
How strange as the years bring on new realizations seemingly rooted by ancient ones only as a mirage from what once such thinking was a certitude but is no more. I push myself hard, not on the exterior path, but the inner one to achieve and maintain those peaks, those moments when maybe foolishly one can think the slope has disappeared and I will not again slide that downhill. I could not witness Jack Borden’s presentation. Him, all these Children’s presence brought in Lance’s own company. I walked away. The word, the simple one called "Life", that one as bright as neon lights started playing it’s blinking messages reminding me so strongly, (could it be the "once for all?" I doubt it…) of it’s definition. How doleful and despairing to be pounded by such realization.
I got a bit lost amongst these thousands of attendees this last weekend. As in gentle waves they came and left into our lives for the few minutes of conversations. What more could I have given them I thought but our honest "ourselves", my only face, the only one always present alone or not. We did not need to use the megaphone to attract the crowds toward a laid out “imaginary”, we did not claim tables and chairs. They came. They left. I was richer and could only hope they also gained a wealth throughout their own desires to join this path I chose in years past.
The crowds dissipated on the last eve. The responsibilities took them away cutting short the start of what could have been an eternity, maybe even if so a fraction of it bringing on more adventures we all desire. Some good byes were difficult only because we knew each other too well by then. Some were easier as we were just as two trains passing each other in the dark flickering the signal lights till the next time which who knows, we might then get to know each other better.
Regardless, as the dust as now settled down, this vision of my next "behind the boulder" has me starving toward a privacy which truly I realize is shared. A withdrawal in the wilderness I cherish so much, yet, a solitude which is not. It is my confinement which takes me closer to Lance always as I understand the ways now Life needs to be, always one foot in that door while dragging the other one. The reel might have been playing it’s images these past days but this giant wide screen illustration was never without a reflection of himself, his eyes, his gestures, those moments we had when words were silent.
Always so many questions unanswered as the replies never quite make any sense almost as if the questions themselves do not. I dig deep always. It is not often I come back up for air with any kind of certitude toward anything surrounding us. Only one I must remark to myself always, the only one, the hardest one. The one that pushes me to go on listening to my instincts as logic by now also has become senseless. The green grass and the blue skies, the clouds and sunshine, the hoodoos and the branches like arteries in my vision, none are mirages, none need that loud speaker to bring them in and feel them day in and day out. The mirages are those unanswered questions, they don’t often take the shapes to enrich those present senses.
And there are the photos. I smile when I look at them as today feeling so much in the moment I do not find anything to ad from their self descriptive presence. There were then, it is already now. The vehicles, those tools as I feel they are moving on with various speeds on the constantly changing terrain and yet providing the stillness we need to let the stages unraveling in front of us. The cooking classes, standing room only, quite a personal comfort sharing this little bit of knowledge and know how to indulge in good meals with the simplicity of traveling without refrigeration. The smiles were enough for me to know such time was not lost on anyone. Some day, somewhere, maybe now, someone or many gathered are already putting it all to good use.
Yes, I guess, looks like, “we are doing it”. No “week-end warriors” here. We are on the road. Still, as now the crowds have gone home for more of their preparations of the next year mixed in with their own adventures. Thinking of a new banner maybe, a new presentation, a new product to offer under another tent put up not for a Lifetime as us, but only for the few days while all together. The "stillness" is within as everything around could move a bit too fast or as some also move too fast with a mental speed which will not attain any finish line if not savored one bite at the time.
In my effort to stay on the road “we” now have a T Shirt and Merchandise store. I think you will like it. “SpiritedOasis”
“Smugmug” for Photos and Digital downloads.
The recipes are on the “One~Pan Recipe” section.
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You be well… Always.
Ara and Spirit and “Old Faithful”