“My Personal Daily Therapy, published Weekly or so…”
“ I guess I am the good horse being lead to the water. And drinking it”
Jesse Cook is one of my favorite acoustic guitar player. This piece called “Tuesday’s Child” always reminds of me Lance and his energy, his contagious energy which still is with me throughout all days.
It was time for a long ride yesterday. The hack is a handful on curvy roads such as the one along the Rio Grande hugging Mexico and dips and twists and blind curves on the crest tops are to keep my body alive for winter times. My mind also. Yet it was not quite winter, far from it, it does not even feel like fall as again 100 was the magic number when we arrived in Presidio. I read somewhere being a scientific and proven fact the axis of the Earth is shifting 37 miles per year. I know something is off, the past years have demonstrated a daily change on this stage we are on. “Things” are just not the same. No one is paying attention. I can handle the heat better than Spirit can. He has become softer as time has moved on forward. His body is used to cooler weather but he made it through, riding with his tongue a bit hanging. I always feel he needs to toughen up a bit and drink a lot of water which he has always in front of him from his spill proof bowl. But, that’s Mr. Spirit.
Yet my mind was occupied all day, wrongly so most likely I today realize it as a futility, because of some e mail exchanges between a reader and myself. I still do not have a handle on my own inner battles. I was not able to emerge from the thoughts running through my mind, thoughts of frustrations toward someone so unhappy about their situation when they lay it out for me to read, and yet playing admirably the part of “the ostrich burying their head in the sand” with a stubbornness and a closed minded path that left me feeling terribly bad for that person as no word of even hope made to her any sense. Or maybe it made sense, yet the willingness to live the moment and find in others words of wisdom was not of an option. I should have not even taken such path, the one of “sharing”.
We all have had teachers in our Life. It starts at a very young age with our parents, it is then on in school, college, continues on while we embrace “work” throughout the years. Our Friends are teachers, our Dogs are teachers, for some that do understand that relationship. Maybe cats are also. I don’t know, I never had one. Sometimes such teachers are as it was laid out on me [quote] “It’s my opinion that new agers are the worst of the exploiting offenders”. [quote] Are they all? We do live in a World of exploitation, there is no doubt, and yet, personally anyhow, how will I ever move on forward if new “information” and “knowledge” does not filter into my Life? I would have remained stagnant, I would have been today who I was 5 years ago only thinking “it will only change when I get out of my own ‘Dirtville’ ”. [quote] “These people prey on the lost, sucking everything they can from those only too ready to follow anyone who can toss them the little crumb of hope.” [quote]
I agree, I agree, yet not totally. Not everyone has such a destination, such a goal so wrongly placed. And what is wrong for one to transcribe in a Book the ancient words of wisdom when such past humans themselves did not have such a book or if they are not available today to the public in the means as “instantly” we are so demanding toward. I use “quotes” myself, my thoughts are often in parallel with words that I read, I hear. "Am I also a “new ager exploiting others?”. And who am I myself truly but “nobody” and then on why my own mental disturbance toward such a Soul having yet to find even the first step or a shadow of it.
Probably because so many have helped my own landings through knowledge and wisdom, so many books have when sifted through setting aside the ones or chapters maybe not quite “a propos” of the path taken, the path needed, and as the balance continuously breaks down only so we can go on to the next peak and maintain it again so precious, to loose it again, those Journeys within the Journey themselves do not come easy without adding a sense and teaching of the Life we live within. Will turn the page, that chapter has now an “End” printed in large fonts. Pay it forward sometimes just does not work.
I think of then going back to the “Big Bend State Park” for a few days, the less visited one. River Rd is in the midst of it. One should go on however first to Presidio before taking on the 27 mile dirt road to first fuel up and then come back. It is a friendly Park as to me “friendly” is anyone that welcomes dogs and not frown on them with a constant adorned mask as the National Big Bend Park does fairly quick at all time to make one feel as they have the plague. Sorry, but they do. I know most of us are paying the price for the irresponsible ones, but why assume we are all so? The location of the State Park is of an odd one for me as it is only about 10~15 miles from here, yet it takes a 350 miles round trip, it is pretty amazing country for the fact that we cannot hike from here to there as also the cliffs of Terlingua Creek are in the way, this is not a forgiving Desert.
It seems as everything I am doing lately is taking twice as long as thought. It is as running to the store and taking all day to do so. The heat has not gone away and is taking a toll. I drove a couple times out of convenience and again did not care for it. Such a huge machine as I feel I cannot see a thing and have no clue where the wheels are. For some reason I am all over the road, maybe that is how I ride, it actually I know is. I am not seeing and feeling much fun trying to keep these four tires in a straight line. The convenience is nice, we had the air on as I also know when close to freezing temperatures we will love it. I know Spirit does! A lot. He is on the front seat his head up and so serious as he has to watch the road even when I look at him from the corner of my eye as his own eyes are going to sleep. It is pretty funny. And yes, he leans just as if he was in the sidecar!
Paradise this is, yet even after our long day ride I am suddenly feeling trapped here. Most of the recipes, the ones I am going to start with anyhow, are up in this store not public yet. Justin is on vacation, the poor man who only works 100 hours a week. Problems have arisen which I know will be resolved as then I feel as us getting away. I wish I could settle better a bit. This the best time to be a bit North of here. Utah… I can feel the coolness of the air up there. Why did we drop this far South so early? My projects I know, to help us with the Journey. They could have waited another month or so. Something to remember for next year. I think the adventure ceases a bit now while here. It feels too much like home. Maybe we will leave anyhow. Maybe. In a few days.
Till next time.
"I have been juggling my Book, my “one-pan recipes”, “Spirit” and myself and also Smugmug is starting to look good if I may say so myself with now 6 Galleries. There will be more, adding daily as I go through these past years photos…”
Take a look. “Smugmug” stands for quality. Thank you.
Be well, always.
Ara & Spirit