“My Personal Daily Therapy, published Weekly or so…”
"The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears" ~ anonymous ~
One of my Morning Music few minutes of Serenity and Travel of the Mind:
“There is a seduction to solitude in a stretch of the World as we were given it, a seduction that stretches across all Human Cultures and all Human History. It may be mocked as foolish, childish, anti-social, misanthropic, retrograde, reactionary, fuzzy-headed, and sentimental, but it exists in the Human Heart and will endure as long as Homo Sapiens survive in even so much as one tribe”
~ Philip Connors ~ [Fire Season]
I received an e mail a few days ago conveying my context here portrays always much Hope. Sometimes I forget those four beautiful letters. I do and feel guilty of it. There is no doubt many of us struggling throughout these moments passing by. Years ago, almost 8 as a marker from what seems yesterday, for a couple years, my belief was as I was the only one targeted with suddenly a dark path laid ahead day in and day out. I was an angry man, I could not keep a job as I could not neither handle my own business. One which took a bit over 20 years to build up in Naples, Florida, after closing my Wholesale Bakery and Restaurant in Northern California. Strange aspect that I still keep that website up, cannot let go of it.
Leaving it all behind and rolling down the roads and starting to write my thoughts as I still do has been the best cure possible. Mother Nature has been generous, so has been Spirit and my Friends slowly filling up an address book one name at the time. You all taught me so much, you all have enriched me with such an incredible wealth which I am however never the gate keeper but only the messenger putting it all down in words. Trying to. Sunny days, stormy days, calm nights and not, Mother Nature taught me "acceptance ", "awareness" and so much more as her laid ahead of me past few millions of years her message has and is always clear with such undeniable strong and yet gentle arms.
Spirit, well, my best Buddy… it would take pages to put into words what he has taught and teaches me as I yet I have to graduate. Some have a strange look or laugh when I try to explain. Here he is living the moment, unencumbered by all which surrounds him. I have always strived to live the moment, not an easy task. He has slowed me down, my steps now point as he does. I listen as he does to what I cannot hear but try and I feel as also he does to my surroundings as they fill my senses from what was lacking to take it all in. Unconditional Love… Happiness… Readiness… so much, so much more.
My Friends have been the supportive core of it all. My Friends have been the ones looking in through at times those murky windows and made them crystal clear. They have opened up so many paths I knew about their routes but never had the key to open up their doors. A word here, a sentence there, a call, they are "Golden" my Friends. They stand by us ready with acceptance, laughter, support and also silence…. listening. I can only hope always to measure up to them.
Yet, above it all, way on top what could be the sharpest point of Life we rest on, my Son Lance is the now making it all possible. I now understand finally so well his deminers throughout his own path leaving me. Such a beautiful young and healthy man he has been. And yet in so much pain inside out never letting it overflow on his own surroundings. Such an old Soul in that young body that carries him. I was the Father and yet often he was the Teacher filling me up with his wisdom I too often wondered it’s sources. He is the one that gives me all, he is the one who erased himself for me to have it all.
I am the one that is suppose to offer you a Gift Lance. Instead you have gifted me for every day I have been missing you. I know you don’t want to see my tears, I remember my promise to you and will keep it. My beautiful Young Man of 34 today …. Happy Birthday Son… I carry your Gifts within me, they will be yours when I see you, when that time comes because I cannot forget ever those four letters "HOPE".
Till next time…
"I have been juggling my Book, my “one-pan recipes”, “Spirit” and myself and also Smugmug is starting too look good if I may say so myself with now 6 Galleries. There will be more, adding daily as I go through these past years photos…”
Take a look. “Smugmug” stands for quality. Thank you”
Be well, always.
Ara & Spirit