“My Daily Therapy, published Weekly or so…”
“Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~
Right now, this morning, my Heart is beating fast and faster. I am witnessing a Texas Sunrise. Yes, Texas! It is early, we left at dark, still cool as I know too well it is going to be over one hundred. Yet yesterday’s heat felt good while approaching the State. I sensed as my bones where thawing from the past cold we have been in, I felt the warmth penetrating me. There is always an excitement and more when coming back to The Oasis, those little ten acres awaiting. It is the only place in the World where I can stand freely and just “be”. It is, as much as I do not like the notion of Earth Ownership, like and feel as it is “my ten acres”, and “it is”, not in the sense of a strong possession but as a notion of the solitude it gives me away from it all. “Always away from it all”, such a strong desire as yet loving the company of my Friends. The “balance”, always the “balance”.
It is Serenity, it is Peace, the invisible doors are always wide open and yet nothing seems to penetrate such space. Only the depth of the mind then runs loose filling up with memories, present times, all. The present is smooth and fluid. We surf the waves of nights and days without ever crashing on shore, this is the middle of our Ocean. We are here, but we are still there on the shores of Lake San Cristobal. I love it’s name, it’s roads and when near by Town, it’s people as mentioned earlier, always Friendly. We also found some calmness when visiting Friends in Las Cruces, when Jake was kind enough to take us to his own “land” where he himself finds what some of us seek for. It was riding in his truck, Spirit was also, one that literally goes everywhere. “Thanks Jake”.
The road here is straight, it is of a familiar one, it is comfort as we are only a couple hours away. It is as this time of the year we are going to infringe on “The Oasis” as she is herself baking in the Sun resting for the winter times to come. We are not staying too long, maybe just a few days. It is a must trip to pick up an item needed for a sponsorship which I could not refuse, which will change the Journey’s ability to a higher level putting a bigger smile on the both of us. All has to remain vague till September 24th or so.
Couple days have passed and they are turning out to be brutal for lack of better word. I am resigned to go through this and some hope for a Friday departure. I just found out it is Labor Day weekend. No difference for us really as the main task will be to get away from this living furnace. Oh! I just realized what I wrote. This land so Dear to me unwelcoming us this time around. I knew I would intrude, I know the welcome will be different a month or so from now.
As we went to now the deserted town of Terlingua, she says “You are so relaxed”. “And why not?” “Look where we are” I replied. “I can’t, I can’t….”. It is the realization the space does not make the person. She was a stranger just met. I was taken back a bit as the population has grown, and in the short time there two such encounters. But I have known that I thought, I remember the serene campgrounds where all is calm as suddenly the black truck shows up, the loud music, the drunks and the kids half naked screaming along with the dogs barking. I thought, maybe, naively, this land here present would be spared. Far from it I realized, “tight” the projection of some giving their presence a certain wealth as a fantasy Monopoly game. Yes, land is inexpensive here, but not cheap.
A day has passed, I am still sitting in my same chair that travels with us, the skies are of all colors a Sunset could offer with a Moon, a lighted crescent delicately hanging in space being swallowed by the present clouds, the wind is howling warm now instead of just plain hot air, and I am thinking how sad the experiences were. I suddenly think our surrounding does not truly matter to many as in this garden of Eden we now are, “misery” was wrapped and brought along. How unhappy the veil of dark colors has to remain draping them constantly and also wondering why they have just moved here a few months ago? The vibes will slowly go away, I know they will as this space sacred to us does not allow such behavior, such outburst.
It is a fight or almost as a Mission many have that at times we have encountered, I have in my past Life also. It is the reason for my smiles as when the trap is set to be as miserable and fall into their abyss, I refuse to be taken away. Misery calls for misery… that is a saying I too often heard. But all is fine, we have recovered, I have, Spirit has, Mr. Spirit who is so happy here. For the first time, or maybe I have before and yet not as strongly, I realize also how much Spirit is his true himself while playing or with me as his looks, his behavior so much closer has instantly changed upon our arrival. I have been thinking about it a lot and I think Spirit likes being alone only with me, one on one he finds his safety net which all might have to do still a lot with his first year in Life being badly abused. A fact I never forget.
One more time West, destination “San Luis Obispo” through Tucson. The road ahead is shiny, a mirage of deep water as awaiting. It is a common sight in summer times, in hot weathered days. I turns out to be a game trying to catch up with this resemblance of water. I know too well now we will never reach it.
As Mike said “you two are really living Life"!”
I replied “we are trying hard”
As he replied “five years on the road, seems like you have it figured out!”
I said “not yet, working on it, eventually we will get it. It is always at the end of ‘that road’, seemingly not though, which is a good thing!”
Julie replied “Yep, when you have it figured out, it will be over”
This was a conversation on Facebook.
So much truth on the road, so much of it into these words. Our Journey has it’s own mirage, it has never been the destination, it has been it’s mile markers one after another. I use to try to catch them, I use to go faster and faster, trying to touch that edge and go over it, senseless to no end. The day all is figured out will be the day nothing will be left for us to go on forward. Sometimes the thought is a bit eerie, what is beyond our edge? Will it be our real truth? Is it something I really want to know? We both gather our energy and keep on rolling. And rolling, Spirit is not very happy today. I have never seen him so sad leaving “The Oasis” regardless of the heat and his inability to stay out too long. For the first time in a very long time he has not ate his morning meal. With each stop I talk to him, scratch his head, a hug, he is slowly understanding we will be back. He is trooper, none like him around, I am assured.
"I have had a great deal of interest in my photography over the years, for which I am grateful. Their sales are of much importance funding this Journal. Yes, please feel free to purchase one or two… or a few. I have been adding some photos lately, there will be more as I sift through about 100,000 of them.
Take a look. “Smugmug” stands for quality. Thank you”
Be well, always.
Ara & Spirit