“My Daily Therapy, published Weekly or so…”
Oh Heart, if one should say to you that the soul perishes like the body, answer that the flower withers, but the seed remains. ~ Kahlil Gibran ~
Hesitation. Much thinking. Giving away thoughts, taking them back. What is the bottom line? Having a better shelter, being out from the elements when needed. More comfort, no worries about a space to spend the night when moving on from point A to point B. No tent set up for one overnight. That is a big one. Giving ourselves a break from the harshness of it all, the extreme colds and worse heat, and yet enjoying the good days, so will Spirit, Old Faithful. Why has there been all these hesitations? Because I have always been a "purist". The bottom line. We will at times be trailering Old Faithful on the long distance roads awaiting ahead of us, from a destination to another… to another.
The winter cold last year, this year, all did it, it swayed the scales of an offer I could not refuse. The inability to truly move around as much as we would have wanted to, if nothing else only to be going to the store. The offer has been on the table for a while, it has taken much logistic for this accomplishment. A Honda "Element", all wheel drive, stick shift, appropriate name for a vehicle destined to open up new horizons for us. Fully tuned up, new struts, lifted 3 inches and topped with an "ECamper". The camper opens up in less than one minute and is dropped and locked in the same amount of time. Soon it will be available for the 4 door Jeep. Of course a responsibility, one however I think we can handle with ease. I am imagining snow photos for the first time.
The truth of the matter happened while in Glacier, Montana. The decisive moment. Extreme cold and as bad what I call this new "breed of mosquitoes". First time using 100% deet on my clothing with not much success and only being able to use Eucalyptus~Lemon spray on Spirit and watching him being devoured unless locked up in the tent. Head net, fire going and still the inability to cook outdoor. How much fun is that day in and day out. We finally left camp exasperated, thinking about a one motel night to recuperate, all to no avail, out of my reach when the least expensive room was $150 for one night! We went back. Years gone by. Tolerance not as such as it use to be? All I know, it is going to be "nice". It is nice. We will mix it up I know. Sometimes leaving "Old Faithful" behind, sometimes leaving the “ECamper” and it’s trailer. Need to find a name for her. Any thoughts? She is not "old" yet! This has opened a greater hunger to be on the road. There an ease as never before and yet "Old Faithful" still transporting us within the local paths while "living" in those far away spaces we cherish.
It is a "thing" though… a material item… and today my own thoughts are not much toward it. Actually none are as within me another loss of a good Friend has made it’s mark. It has because "Christine", who also had lost her child, it was in 2008, "Jessica" was not even 20 yet, herself passed away a few nights ago. The big "C" again… as again and again. 2 days later, her Buddy "Micky" had passed, her own faithful companion, a loyal "Pit". Christine was only 49. We had a bond and in all actuality I should not write "we had", because we "do have" this bond. We corresponded often as she held me up as much I hope as I held her up. Few will understand as I do. The pain, the immense pain when hitting this wall which does not return a hug or a smile.
I think she gave up, I think her strength only weakened in these short times, these past 3 years, and the body just quit. I am so profoundly affected by this, suddenly realizing the strength of my own strength so constantly needed as never the guards can be put down. I feel so close to the many that have left us in body and now keep me company with their soul united. I am more speechless today, words are just not easy in these murky waters. I wish and feel as Christine is now uplifted away from the weight she has carried these past years as yet she has always put everyone else ahead of her. She must be now in good company. I know she is.
We are done in San Diego this morning. We did not see much of it. Tried the Beach, nothing much appealed yesterday and so we just came back. I think we will spend one night in Anza Borrego. We did. We had to. That is Anza Borrego.
Spirit and I are sitting somewhere, I don’t know exactly where as while grabbing a bite to eat with our Friends Linda and Bill on Borrego Springs Circle we lost the sun a bit faster than I thought. The main aspect is the fact of being back in the desert in a deep quiet silence. It has become an addiction I think, I know. A hot day it has been as I had not realized of the present temperature at such low levels. We even dropped, the GPS showed, at –172’! It is still warm but a nice warm with a mild wind blowing on my face cooled off further by a wet scarf. The horizon is still lit but the stars are starting to line up, the milky way is slowly forming it’s path and Spirit is now just a very dark shadow laying by my feet as quiet as I am. There is no light pollution here, the show will be a success. This is the prescription for all.
There is nothing more humbling than gazing at the Stars within this space found. This Desert, tonight, where I can speak loudly and no one will hear me. No one present, no one right here. On this stage with a ceiling so brightly lit by the millions of lights, like tinsels dropped from this giant Christmas Tree, a real one. Christine has found her place in my mind all day and all “now”, so much so it has numbed me. I suddenly feel as so many have left me, how ironic is that? I am clinging ever more to my present Friends, the few which feel comfortable speaking with such subjects as I find out many also only present their silence. I know within a few days we will be within the vast lands of Big Bend and hibernating a while with only short Journeys here and there. I am hoping for the few to visit us even if as I just found out our tent has blown away and is destroyed. I was not aware the winds could reach 100+ mph… No fault of the tent… I want to see and feel their smiles, hear their voices, hear their stories, exchange our thoughts, truly exchange our thoughts, that is what true Friends do. A hug or two. All as such is so cherished.
Again, it is only a “thing”. Sorry my Friends to have lost your future shelter, I don’t think I want to put up another one. Maybe a smaller one, bring your sleeping bags!
Another beautiful Sunset here tonight in “Show Low”, AZ, while picking up some left over “stuff” which needs to go back to “The Oasis”. That is after we go to Phoenix on Tuesday for a minor repair on “Old Faithful”. Till later…
"I have had a great deal of interest in my photography over the years, for which I am grateful. Their sales are of much importance funding this Journal. Yes, please feel free to purchase one or two… or a few. I have been adding some photos lately, there will be more as I sift through about 100,000 of them.
Take a look. “Smugmug” stands for quality. Thank you”
Be well, always.
Ara & Spirit