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“You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. Not knowing where I’m going is what inspires me to travel it.” ~ The Southern Crossing, May 2011 ~
I have always been one these past few years to have the ability extracting the “good” out of every situation. Going back a bit, over 7 years, Lance’s passing away totally destroyed that concept. I still cannot explain how I manage to have gone back to such an approach, to even smile when ‘smile’ was a forgotten form, to laugh when such sound had disappeared. I have been trying to put this particular change in words lately without much success. I only know that now “it is”. The company of my Buddy ‘Spirit’, ‘Mother Nature’, the rides, the ‘getting lost’ within the so many empty spaces we seek, our ‘Friends’, yes, all has propelled my Life to a stage I now can subside on and live on, but there now is more.
There is more because as now we are broken down (and as I update “repaired”), the “goodness” and the “generosity” of so many coming forward lending a hand has overwhelmed me. Totally. It is as a quiet storm of thoughts are blowing through this mind of mine as I await for all to become clearer on this horizon lost a bit at the present. So many names I read, so many I do not know, and yet, “Old Faithful” has received an assistance I could sadly not provide. This fork in the road has brought up a few points within again this mind of mine as this cannot and will not happen again. Plan “B” was not thought about, it just was not and I feel very guilty about it all.
It brings me to the point of my “acceptance” for this help we are receiving. Yes, I have a hard time receiving and only as being our last resort did I step forward and asked for help. After a discussion with a good Friend of mine I realized the path of it all. I myself like to give jumping on the bandwagon at the first occasion to do so, the best I can. As my Friend pointed out asking, “is it a pleasure for you to give, to do for others? a blessing… right”?. “Of course” I answered. He then went on asking me why would I not allow for others also to feel such pleasure, blessing, such comfort of giving I myself know too well. It all made sense, it was one of those moments looking from inside the window and hearing the voice coming in from outside it’s glass pane. It all made sense, even if… I still prefer to give!
I stopped by the shop today, ‘Iron Horse’ in Tucson, where ‘Old Faithful’ was comfortably resting on not one lift but two due to her size. I know, it is just a machine many will say, but I choked and my eyes teared seeing her as such, knowing, or worse, not knowing quite yet of her injuries. She was quietly laying there… silent, I felt her reserved, restrained and suddenly shy as apologizing for her present state. I was glad Spirit was not with me as he is already not feeling too good about all this and has also been incredibly quiet. I realized suddenly my attachment to her. 250,000 miles! A machine? No, she is not… how can I not be attached?
A couple days have now passed, “Old Faithful” is here in the garage since yesterday getting back together. I am a bit numb on how all this happened, the hands coming forward, the so many that have responded. Have I said “Thank You”?. Those two words do not seem to represent the strength of my feelings toward the gestures. It is always more so hard to express with the hope that all of you responsible will understand my gratitude, my indebtedness, my appreciativeness.
This morning was 4am when I drove Arivaca Rd a bit south of Green Valley. I felt the need to be “out there” on this Father’s Day always missing a piece of my Heart as yet on this day I have a lot and many to “Thank for”. It was a quiet ride, much silence throughout a short hike, the Sunrise as always was a gift well received, a hawk was awaiting for us, I heard the message loud and clear. Exhausted from all the emotions of past days we are taking a couple days to break and will head north on Thursday early morning avoiding the 100 degree plus heat of this Tucson area. Thank you… Thank you… Thank you…
"I have had a great deal of interest in my photography over the years, for which I am grateful. Their sales are of much importance funding this Journal. Yes, please feel free to purchase one or two… or a few. I have been adding some photos lately, there will be more as I sift through about 100,000 of them. Take a look. “Smugmug” stands for quality. Thank you”
Ara & Spirit
Be Safe and well
Peace, Love, Courage