“ ‘Badness’ you can get easily, in quantity; the road is smooth, and it lies close by. But in front of excellence the immortal Gods have put sweat, and long and steep is the way to it.” ~ Hesiod ~
I have no clue how long we have been here in Show Low. I think maybe a couple weeks, less, more? A taste of the solitude while being alone, and not alone all at the same time. A flavor new to us within these four walls, four walls which here really do not exist as they would in an Urban environment where unfortunately we have such a hard time staying composed too long. Hard to explain, the “Barn” is the big tent. It has been such a welcomed dwelling, shelter. The urge is however now here. A couple more days, I am having almost myself a hard time believing we are going back to our roots, our tent, dirt under our feet only at night separated by a ground clothe. This is “our” time of the year to be “out there”, longer days, less sleep, early sunrises and late sunsets.
One more day as this morning I wake up feeling more “human” than ever. The pain and discomfort is behind me, only the inconvenience of having gained a couple pounds here and there while cooking for Dean and Pam just about every night! Hollandaise Sauces and Apple Pies with Ice Cream was never on the menu while in the wilderness, it has been these past days. It is that time to repack, tomorrow morning again we will feel the welcoming wind in our face as a diversion northbound.
Quite a few days before my biopsy results and I am not feeling disturbed as to not yet knowing what my future holds. What our future holds. It seems I was more on edge before the biopsy. How strange can that be. This faith of Life has descended over me with a confidence unlike before. We are leaving in the morning for Utah, I have to choose a location where I can stay in communication for an incoming call from my Dr.
We made it to Bluff with one savior. The stronger ever winds were on our tail 90% of the time. The landscape has been surreal. Sand blowing making visibility almost obscure at times, propelled in the welcoming forward of a motion missed in near past. It did not matter, we were riding. No photos. The best prescription ever. Onward. Primitive camping is not of the present times. I need to stay connected awaiting this phone call which I know will give me good news regarding my biopsy, so much due to my Faith in Life and the hundreds of well wishes from you all which do not cease to daily touch and move me, yet, Human Nature, the incertitude has made it’s way into this Soul of mine robbing some of the past freedom. I suddenly feel as I am failing and riding this giant rollercoaster of emotions. How can that be?
Priorities changed seven and a half years ago after Lance’s passing away. They have changed now again as the path of the road procured a certain sense of difficult acceptance. I so much feel "survival" is the word standing tall on top of that Pyramid of Life. It is as the gears have downshifted to only that word. Not much mattered then in past times besides the golden lining of our Friendships with so many as today they do even matter more. The colors of it all surrounding me are suddenly brighter and more vivid. The air is fresh and crisp and comforting, there is such a strong desire of it all to remain as such. There is no complain if the sand was blowing, if the cross winds were tiring me. As I think, who cares if a hair is out of place, if a drawer was left open or a stain on my clothes, how quickly one can forget and set aside the fundamental and unique aspect of Life itself: Living.
I look at Spirit, he looks back, just when I thought we cannot be any closer, we become. He does not leave my sight. He rubs against me and comforts me as he also knows too well this new twist of this unseen stage that has revolved so slowly and has now moved us on it’s unstable path. I so much Love my Buddy, I so much wish unconditional Human Love and acceptance was also as such. I experience the simplicity of our relationship and the uplift is of such a greater experience I have ever felt. The simplicity… all so unencumbered from the complexity and assumptions and deviations of attractions one can have uncontrolled from so many maybe past experiences.
So many "maybes" …. we need to go and ride now. Clear the mind. Mother Nature awaits for us. Till next time….
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Ara & Spirit
Be Safe and well
Peace, Love, Courage