“Any change, any loss, does not make us victims. Others can shake you, surprise you, disappoint you, but they can’t prevent you from acting, from taking the situation you’re presented with and moving on. No matter where you are in Life, no matter what your situation, you can always do something. You always have a choice and the choice can be power”. ~ Blaine Lee ~
It is time for errands here. We are in Tucson. Our Life gets spoiled within the logistical aspects, more, it gets spiritually spoiled when in the presence of Robin and the warmth of a relationship always climbing the steps leading to our 5th Floor. It is our floor, we, us, her and I only have the key. It is "Happiness Floor". Everyone should have their own. I am sure you do. I am a bit scattered though as I start thinking how we managed in previous years without such a stop to regroup. I don’t think we ever needed much to regroup. I am always scattered here. I am always scattered when we stop if only for a few days. I realize I do not have to pay as much attention to my surroundings as when within Mother Nature. I cannot think the same anyhow, thoughts are always escaping me or the lid is on. I realize this stage makes me see things so differently, not quite to my liking. It never was. More likely it does not let me see, does let me feel my surroundings. It is the stage, emphasis.
Some that meet us ask how long we will be here."Till she kicks me out" I say. There is a little bit of truth in those words. I get fidgety she says, antsy, I know I do. It is as an anxiety attack, I know of losses and as well as I know my Journey will never be at a loss, I feel over fueled and on ready to step on the roads. I miss my Kindred Spirit then on, the incredible moments we have while here. There is no solution but to live as we do. We can have it both ways. My limit right now is about ten days as "Old Faithful" also gets a rest and an oil change. I would like us to stay longer, I know Spirit would also love to, we cannot, I cannot, she cannot. I then realize it is not only my own limit but also hers. I am not alone in this tangled web of strands from here and there. The ties are strong and pulling with a force getting stronger by the days passing as the weather dictates it all and it is “nice” out there, up “north”, right now. This is no time to be in between four walls.
It is the fork in the road, it is the choice taken, or is it today that the choice has chosen us, is it today too late to turn around? I know deep down it is when I feel the heat of the black top rising and I cannot smell the scent too well loved of the dirt which usually is our ground around. I had read a while back the above quote, I might have even post it here sometimes back, I cannot remember as it does not matter because today it’s meaning almost took my breath away when this one word “power” jumped at me with a force unlike any others. It is not and has not been as in the “ physical strength” meaning but strong standing on my two feet, heads up and shoulders straight and square, the feeling being “I did it… I am doing it…”. No procrastination, no guilt of chores undone laid out ahead. None.
I am not sitting around, I am not cornered shriveling up against some blank walls anymore, my backyard has no fences, I am stepping on this path admittedly mysterious every morning, filled with surprises at every bend, at every corner, yes, ten days… the outer spaces are calling, I hear them, I talk back to them, I trust them as I know they will be there awaiting with a patience yet unknown to us “humans”. The “choice” taken has made me strong when I was weak, this “alternative” has brought in the voices and the words of so many which today are our Friends in times past being only unmet strangers and have now filled our cups. This “appraisal” is driving me with a flow and it’s strong currant where and when not much matters but the inner Peace of it all, “this and that” so strongly felt in the City vanishes as who cares or even as so often have had “no choice” behind that boulder whether the slices of upcoming moments will be round or square or dark or light… I smile too often witnessing the indecision of the many surrounding me, or is it more than the indecision? Could it be the lack of processing while bombarded within this battlefield?
The heat again is on, the weather heat today, and as I am not concerned about it right now considering we are getting around in a car with air conditioner (funny), I am thinking how we are going to get out of here on Monday. The heat concern, or cold for that matter is always about Spirit. We both have swamp cooler vests now. Mine works pretty well under my riding jacket with the vents open, his is not doing so well as the wind generated by our speed is drying out the vest in less than 30 minutes and that is with the sidecar cover on. Only one solution left, of course avoid the heat but when as now not possible, we will sleep during the day and ride at night till we hit higher elevations meaning cooler temperatures. I think we are headed for the Boulder/Escalante (Utah) area for a while. I see snow by the end of the week in the forecast. Snow? In the meantime the memories of past days linger in these present photos…
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Ara & Spirit
Be Safe and well
Peace, Love, Courage