“There is a cheap literature that speaks to us of the need of escape. It is true that when we travel we are in search of distance. But distance is not to be found. It melts away. And escape has never led anywhere. The moment a man/woman finds that he/she must play the races, go to the Arctic, or make war in order to feel himself/herself alive, that man/woman has begin to spin the strands that bind him/her to other men/women and to the World. But what wretched strands! A civilization that is really strong fills man/woman to the brim, though he never stir. What are we worth when motionless, is the question.” ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery ~
One of those mornings. Having a hard time focusing on the present as I feel Spring is in the air. Of course it was over 100 degrees here a couple days ago, I think it is also now, I have stopped looking at the temperatures. It feels more like summer. We are mostly packed, repacked, whichever, something I have to do about twice a year as each bag has now a written map of it’s contents. I will not have to memorize anymore everything’s location or maybe just play the game before I look at the list. A new step this time around it is. I was glancing at a traveler’s ride report from Australia who now is in Europe and soon into this country, a trip around the World, and suddenly I felt encaged. How can that be when millions of miles and acres are still ahead of us? I have had a taste of Europe for 26 years, my Grand Parents lived in Cairo, Egypt, I had relatives in Lebanon before the wars I call “non sense” started in years past, uncles and aunts. I have had that dash of what it was thousands of miles away. I rode those then, I even hitchhiked more of them. Different civilizations, different customs, different foods, wonderful people. All have remained within me, the memories are still vivid, their taste lingering and wanting for some more.
But I know it cannot be even if the word “impossible” is not in my vocabulary as one day past Napoleon himself said so. I so often think about getting “Old Faithfull” on a cargo ship with myself and Spirit and confront those lands once understood. The logistics, the costs, the changes that have taken place as I felt them not long ago when in Munich visiting my Mother, all is a formidable wall without a doubt with it’s intricate motions to surmount. “I am” in Love with Big Bend, Utah, Montana, Wyoming and so much more. I am at Home anywhere we stake our tent. Is it only my Human nature, my thirst for the what is around the bend I still cannot see and feel and yet “wanting” to discover and for some spaces “re-discover”. What is it with me unable to settle comfortably even if it was for a few of those winter months? Why is it I am always searching while curious for that other side of the coin in this instance so unreachable? As if pounding the grounds where I want to go and go. Probably just one of those days. In the meantime we shall take another ride into the Park.
The next morning has arrived. Clouds are above us now, all has cooled down and the ride into the Park has grounded me. I don’t want to go anymore, I don’t want to cross those Oceans again, I now want to be here as I feel this comfort level I so much enjoy it’s familiarity. They were thoughts, maybe a moment of wishes founded from a past that has accumulated too many miles in times when youth was a bit more daring as now the years have settled me a bit on this path of self discovery. I think of the inner road taken, I am contemplating how far Spirit and I have come throughout these years, how far I have come myself confronting my thoughts and stepping up in this constant mode to achieve a balance so important today within this Life of ours. I am absorbed with the depth of my relationship with my Kindred Spirit Robin who awaits 600 miles away as myself anticipates once again our togetherness face to face. We are in each other’s thoughts daily, nightly, we live side by side even if the physical distance is present. We have leaned on each other’s shoulders when the need has risen, we have gone together on this main stage of our learning more about each other and ourselves as never before, we have enrolled together into those classes of Life. We have used the words “Happy”, “Love”, “Custom made”, “Trust”, “Respect”, “Best Friend”, “Honesty”… and more. They all apply, have applied. One stands out above them all, “Gift”. We have received the “Gift of Life” when we have least expected it, we are unwrapping it, strand by strand. We are fortunate.
We did not get into the Park till late into the day, we first stood in the shades of Terlingua. Chatting. Spirit’s comfort is always ahead of it all. Shade and water, the two “must” ingredients for us throughout the hot days. Having been most within mild weather he is not taking to the heat as well, he is not taking to the cold as well either, he also does not have much hair my poor buddy! He is always such a trooper but I have to look after him as he looks out after me day in and day out. We are one throughout these times. He has grown to know me, probably better than I have grown to know him. Maybe. It was as always a fine ride and a finer short hike catching the Sunset on the way out. We arrived back to “The Oasis” and the mind again started going through it’s gears against this time my previous thoughts, the ones when sometimes I have felt so wrongly so stranded. Tonight the Sunset was an exceptional one, it was as the message was loud and clear. This land where I could vanish into total solitude was screaming “do not leave me… go on… go on… but you will be back, there is no place like here…”. I agreed.
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Ara & Spirit
Be Safe and well
Peace, Love, Courage