“And it was then that in the depths of sleep someone breathed to me” ‘You alone can do it, come immediately’ ~ Jules Supervielle ~ [The Call]
How strange. It is a hike today within the surrounding trails here. Spirit is always ahead of me, now, as earlier close to me, his head on my lap while sitting on one of the logs surrounding the fire pits, he was nourishing me of his own Soul trying to take me away from my present thoughts. I wonder why with Thanksgiving around the corner I have been wanting to couple up with only a caring presence of another. And not just “any other”. Being here and embracing this Lifestyle is my own doing, it was my only way out, it was and has been to stay in all these past times. I have dug deep my own path of solitude here, or there, or anywhere we have been when my immediate family has only been Spirit and Mother Nature. And of course, "Old Faithful", I don’t forget you either.
Just like you, some parts have been broken and repaired, mended, done over a few times since years past. We will never be as new but we sure can try to keep rolling as we both have. Today has been the realization a bit harder than other times of us being alone. Maybe the taste of recent days past in good company and Friendship has sprouted and given birth to some thoughts of not wanting to so much remain within our immediate company and yet, who is these days as such as we are, without further commitments maybe even inundated within a constant circle without a passageway toward a tranquility emanating allowing to savor a taste of togetherness.
What am I saying? Why isn’t the picture of a clear one? Myself who day after day keeps it a simple path, a path of “now” and not of future thoughts. There is no haze, there are no storms, yet my weather suddenly seems capricious. We are back in my tent, the hike is over. But it is a different tent even if the chair that has held me up these years is the same. The sun is slowly making it’s descent, maybe sleep would be good if only the outlook of days to come would be enlightened by a certain familiar smile, laughter, presence. From day to day the unknown sure makes it’s presence known, and even when aware of such fact I cannot help falling into the surprised state of mind present. There is no avoidance of it, I have no weapons of abstinence or want any for that matter. Just a "funk" a Friend of mine called it one time most of it followed by a smile, one that smiles back at me sending the defined message with words pronounced even if not needed "you will see…".
It is at least not pronouncing what has been heard throughout the too many years of Life programming "I told you so…". There is no such thing for me. No one knows if the left foot will ever follow the right one. There is only a thirst for Life and the constant recognition of kind Souls I cannot protect myself from as I am who I am, as my cover is of a transparent one, as my Heart is indeed worn on my sleeve sometimes slipping away and bouncing off unknown territories with always a lesson ready to be learned from this relentless School of Life.
A recess never lasts too long. And if it did, how could we then enjoy the fun and joyful tests? The Sun was as a fire tonight, they say it is a promise of a great weathered day for the next one. The Moon almost full has risen behind us, risen from this mountain we call Nine Points. The cycle never stops. It is of a cool evening, not cold, and yet there is a fire burning in the wood stove. It is comfort. The crackling of the logs, the smell of the pecan wood and the warmth is soothing the senses. All is helping decipher emotions which suddenly made their way with such a generous invitation as their Home is always here present.
The morning after. We are bound to Tucson tomorrow morning. There is a smile on both of our faces. Yes, even Spirit. The winds are today blowing hard, they have also blown away any trace of the wondering of these days future. There is packing, there is excitement, there is even a few logs of Pecan wood being taken with us. In the meantime we had the chance to visit and even have dinner with Kate and Clyde and Friends and Family at the incredible “Bed and Breakfast” in Marathon called “Eve’s Garden”. Colors, papercrete structures, pool, the camera and the senses could not stop staying ahead of myself. It was late when we left, warm hot air pockets followed by icy ones, one after another, close calls with more deer and a slow javelina. We arrived safe, only my eyes tired from never lifting my sight from the sides of the one hundred plus miles roads it took us to arrive back here.
On we go… “Thanks for Giving”.
Ara & Spirit
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