A Birthday and not much else. Tx

Wednesday, October 13th, 2010

“From now, practice saying to everything that appears unpleasant: ‘You are just an appearance and by no means what you appear to be’” ~ Epictetus ~

Sunset  

Another Sunset to enjoy. No camera, I will not do that tonight. This is one to savor within the deep memories of this space. Sometimes such is needed. There is a forecast for thunderstorms but all I see are a few clouds cooling down quickly the afternoon high temperatures. Almost 100 today again and only few bursts of winds perhaps when the spirits present decided to move on. Much writing today. It is getting very interesting reading back some of my past words. I wonder at times if it really was us. I feel fortunate to have been writing for myself.

Sunset  

I failed miserably. I just had to grab the camera. There was fire behind those clouds as the ones behind me slowly from their crest down turning from shades of crimson to gray. There were images in the clouds, I saw a Unicorn flying away. There are plenty of birds around this time even though I am not feeding them. This must be their last tune of the day before letting the crickets take center stage. A new moon, a thin sliver of light has appeared like magic as it was prepping all day. This is the daily show here at "The Oasis".

Sunset  

We went to Terlingua yesterday. A Friend of mine was going to play the guitar on the Porch as I was sure many others would be present. It did not happen. Since the Starlight Theatre Restaurant has been closed the crowds have thinned out and the tourists are also non existent. It won’t be long before reopening. Terlingua without it is just not itself. My Friend Jim will be here Wednesday. That is October 13th, Lance’s Birthday. 33. I am generally alone on those days, needless to say they are tougher days than most, but I like Jim and I think his company will be very much a propos. He writes songs, he will bring his guitar, he will play, I will cook, take photos most likely and we will sit around the Fire as his Spirituality and mine fall always into long conversations.

Sunset  

Not a single day seems to be alike the other. I suddenly been on edge with this day approaching. So all is not always cheerful, such is Life I keep thinking, making the best of it. One gets used to it I guess and yet even if and when sadness attains it’s momentum, I still feel a certain exhilaration only because I am still able to feel, such an important aspect of my own Life. I don’t know much anymore how others live, it seems it has been a long time being separated from the real World as every time I confront it every which way I turn I can only run away from the inner storm created with no reprieve.

Sunset  

How strange to be alive and remain with the constant touch of one’s memory. The one, that instant when 33 years ago, this little ball of flesh, yes, screaming, came out into this World none of us then knowing the future as I must say the years passed were good. I do have those times to be thankful for. I know that. I also feel today that those are the years that deserve a change, a certain change from the path of my own past four years. I don’t know what it would be yet, Life on the road cannot stop, it is truly too late to come back, but a variance is needed. An interesting change, inward and outward. I don’t know what else to call it but it will come to me, I feel it.

Sunrise  

I look around me and I see through it all. So much is, as “Epictetus” said, just an appearance. Today I will create my own appearance, Lance will be here with me as so often he is, but today he will stay a while longer. “Happy Birthday Lance”, I know you are reading this as I read you and feel you. Always. Yes, you are “The Oasis of my Soul”.

Be Safe and Well
Peace, Love, Courage

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Ara & Spirit

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6 Responses to “A Birthday and not much else. Tx”

  1. Maureen Says:

    A burst of light, memory, presence…. I cry for you tonight.

  2. Louise Says:

    Thinking of you on this special birthday…take care, my friend.

  3. john spenard Says:

    # John Says:
    October 15th, 2009 at 3:41 pm

    A poem for Lance and Dad,Oh so sad,not to be able,to make a wish of glad to my son of not to be . Its too late to feel the love that you and Lance have felt, it was not meant for me. Only for others to share, to let me know what I have missed my son is gone never to have known what could have been. Happy birthday Lance. Ara you had a son however so short it may be , you felt his love and return the pain of his passing, I will never know the love of my son.It never began, for my love was turn away as his soul was destroyed by a women who did not want him in this life .Lance, Not to be sent away like many young souls awaiting to be born, Rejoice In Knowing Lance, and I thank you Ara for sharing his time in this world with me. love John.

  4. john Says:

    enjoy your quiet time… is the Starlight Theatre being renovated? is that why it is closed?

  5. admin Says:

    Thank you all for your kind thoughts.
    Time just does not stand still, emotions however do not unravel quite as fast. Lucky however are the ones that “feel”.
    Be Safe and well
    Peace, Love, Courage

    Ara & Spirit
    http://www.theoasisofmysoul.com

  6. Gene McCall Says:

    Ara, from time to time, over the last couple of years, I have visited your site. Today, I feel compelled to write to you. In the summer of 2006 I lost my youngest grandson, Joshua, age 4 & a half. He drowned at a pool party with several of his brothers around. He was not seen until it was too late, the water was too murky. His oldest brother (17 at the time) pulled him from the pool and did his best to bring him back, all to no avail. Being the youngest of 8 grandchildren and with a spirit, that in time, I am sure would have explored this old world, he was my favorite. Not that I love any of my other children and grandchildren, there was just something special about him from the day he was born. Believe it or not his birthday was October 13, 2001. I know the day is special for you, know that it is a special day for others as well. I still miss him terriably but I am, as I know you are for Lance, so thankful for every day of his life. Good luck to you my friend, as we both continue our long journey through life, a little more lonely, but richer for having known our lost love ones.
    God Bless and Keep You,
    Gene

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