“Go now and then for fresh Life – if most of humanity must go through this town stage of development – just as divers hold their breath and come ever and anon to the surface to breathe… Go whether or not you have faith… Form parties, if you must be social, to go to the snow-flowers in winter, to the sun-flowers in summer… Anyway, go up and away for Life; be fleet!” ~ John of the Mountains ~
There is a certain intimacy I have discovered when living on the road moving with our SPOT on. Lately it has been turned off. I call it “living behind closed doors”. It is the result often being overdosed from an urban environment, maybe being somewhere I don’t want to be but have to as we are never free, not even us. The present road has been amazingly unexciting and yet it is a comfort road. It is a simple one, an easy one, one I know the prize at the end off a dirt road awaiting. “The Oasis”, “Big Bend”. I am not ready to deal with adventures right now but only with myself and Spirit, trying to balance it all out again as it was, trying to put us back together mentally and physically. It is getting there.
This is kind of like “to be or not to be”! I long for the camping we have done, I miss my conversations with my Mother, you know, the ones you sit and unravel to no end, and I miss feeling healthy and energetic. Maybe it is only a low point passing through. Of course it is. The weather is pushing us south, it is that time. I look forward to it and at the same time saddened by the virtue of a summer that will take a past tense. There is no doubt it is a time I have difficulty living the present as much as I apply myself. This trip to Germany has brought on many questions about our Life. Those brown eyes always keep me grounded, they have been staring at me a bit more these days. Lucky me. The Desert will be welcome grounds for the both of us.
I have been really tired lately, this flu has hit me hard, mind over matter, the big ball of Life unwilling to roll on. All has slowed me down and being behind those closed doors has been as nurturing times these days. Slowing me down has made me realize how much I miss my Mother, how far she is. So great it has been to share those meals together, converse openly, just look at each other, laugh and cry and all in between. Able to take steps forward to get to know each other better since such physical distance always has been present. All went by so quickly and yet also so slowly as on the other side Spirit was waiting apart for the first time. Thoughts, thoughts and more thoughts. What could be the solution? I don’t know. Time is passing by. “Feeling” is so rewarding and so hard all at the same time, but there are no options, “corner sitting” is not one of them.
There is so much regret of times not spend with Lance. They are regrets that are and will always be present no matter what, it is Human Nature, and now I have this fear of future regrets of times not spend with my Mother. We are both finally free to do so. I know what holds her back to move here as I know what holds me to move back to Europe even if it is for a few years just to be close. She asked me once if we would move. That question has been left unanswered and yet these past few days I have been thinking about it. Not necessarily Germany, where by the way Pits are really not welcomed, but all over Europe. Could we live as we do? It has been so long. Would we find desolate spaces? Free camping? So much to think about.
Yesterday was a deluge! I forgot what rain was like. The skies opened up and let us have it. Luckily we had reached “Las Vegas”, that’s “New Mexico” by the way, and the choices were a KOA and a KOA. There we go again I thought as their insurance bans all aggressive dogs, not people mind you, but all went well and the owner Debbie was more than happy to have us stay here for a couple nights as I do want to go to town which has quite a bit of History. They are celebrating their 175th year. I could write pages about it, but I think this link very well done has more information that I could ever write, not including my little great lunch of a couple tamales and a sweet potato pie while watching the traffic go by.
And now for dinner! I really like it when something good comes out of nothing as I do not plan menus in my shopping. Pretty much buy what is on sale. However some items have changed in my nutrition. No more processed food, which means no more cans, no salt, lime and lemons instead, no sugar, honey instead and also no more butter, olive oil instead. I was going to make some pasta but changed my mind as I am into much rice lately. This was organic Thai Jasmine Rice. 1 cup of rice to 1.5 cup of water, always soaking the rice in water, even for 24 hrs to remove the gluten. I had found a butcher and bought a little piece of sirloin, no hormones, no chemicals, which I sliced on the thin side. Sautéed with olive oil on high flames for less than 10 minutes with some sliced zucchini, a tomato, leaves of cilantro, much garlic adding some feta cheese and lime juice at the end.
The end result was great, the taste of the feta cheese, lime juice and cilantro was of the best. Those three ingredients together are the key. Any vegetables will do, any meat including pork or chicken will also do. Less than 30 minutes for all. I myself will definitely make it again. Kind of looking like a “dreamy” dinner!
You be well… always.
Ara & Spirit