“ You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give” ~ Khalil Gibran
The winds pounded on us a couple days ago. They said 70mph gusts and I believe it. I was thinking of the good old sailing days, on how that would have been. Sustained winds would have been more than challenging, the gusts would have been “rocking and rolling” with the sails reefed for the strongest bursts and the sea anchor dragging right along. If I have sailed in such winds I now know I could not do it again. It takes a certain, I will call it “youth” and “I don’t know what” else. It is not quite there anymore within me. We have left Valley of the Gods and taken refuge in Bluff as I look on the screen at the oncoming 20’s at night and… snow! Through Sunday. We could escape, this certain eagerness to roll on has stuck it’s claws within me, but it is only a few days, we will make the best of it and winter heated gear is coming right out of the yellow sack permanently tied to the back of “Old Faithful”.
The skies have already changed from the blues to the grays in such a quick instant. We are at the mercy of Mother Nature, once again, hoping it is not a sign for the times to come for these coming months when instead Paradise settings should take place allowing us to roam freely wherever my Heart desires. And yet we live on the road. There is no timeframe, we can sit here and wait and catch up on the odds and ends always demanding some attention. We did have a break yesterday, I woke up to blue skies and we headed toward “Hovenweep” as we had tried the day before, but the only ending up turning around when at 5500’ the skies promised snow and sub zero temperatures as I found out it happened.
“Sitting on the front porch looking at the river and watching the fog disappear, in the background I can hear the sound of sport bikes starting to make there first run on Push Mountain. Wish I was there with them. This is what I will remember and what a wonderful memory to.” The skies might have been blue, the temperatures a bit warmer, but my Heart all day was gray and cold after reading those words above from my Friend Bill who has Cancer. Bill has been more than like a Brother to me, chosen Family, closest Friend I have, him and Kammie saw me and sheltered me through thick and thin. What am I suppose to do? Keep on going with a smile on my face and try to not feel this darkness of Life which suddenly has knocked on his door? Again it happens, Karma just cannot let go showing only too often for my taste it’s ugly face I have such a hard time dealing with as I know it is always only a one way conversation.
We took a hike at “Hovenweep”. I was glad dogs are allowed on the trails on a leash throughout the 2 miles path marked by borders of rocks not allowing us to get too close to the ruins build right on the edges of the cliffs. I just could not get into it as if my body was there but my mind was not, as much as I know Bill would have wanted me to cheer up. “Funny guy” is an understatement as crying from laughter was almost a daily reoccurrence. Where do we go from here? One more day has passed and this time the dark gray clouds are adding to my mood, a somber one I must say, numb from head to toe and all in between I feel as a miracle should prevail to show Life that we are more than invincible. I feel as a Dinosaur having outlived already my Father and my Son. I try all day to emerge but today I am unsuccessful unlike finally the sun rays which made their way promising better weather for the days to come, promising that we can go on tomorrow and scratch the surface of this Mother Earth to maybe find out if she will be kind to my Friend.
Again it just is. Acceptance, reality, ups and downs, grabbing the bull by it’s horns, will never do what is less than needed. Not for my Friends. Never.
Ara & Spirit
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