“Now just dig them in front. They have worries, they’re counting the miles, they’re thinking about where to sleep tonight, how much money for gas, the weather, how they will get there – and all the time they’ll get there – they’ll get there anyway, you see. But they need to worry and betray time with urgencies false and otherwise, purely anxious and whiny, theirs souls really won’t be at Peace unless they can latch on to an established and proven worry and having once found it they assume facial expression to fit and go with it, which is, you see, unhappiness, and all the time it all flies by them and they know it and that too worries them to no end” ~ the character is “Dean” in “On the Road” by “Jack Kerouac” ~
A while back while heading to “The Oasis”, crossing the Stateline, a Friend for the ride exclaimed “Is this Texas? How ugly…”. I was not born in this State, I was not even born in this Country, but my feelings instantly and deeply felt a hurt making me realize how much I Love this State. It took a lot not to put the brakes on and as a gentleman would, come around, open the door to let here out, and yet, also as a gentleman, I did not. It was so true at that instance to think again as often I do and wrote only previously “we don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are”. The oil rigs were of many, the smell in the air was of it’s flagrance undoubtedly, the grass was of yellow, the dwellings most of all dilapidated, once thriving as today not as opulent. The roofs were caved in and the cars and the old trucks all rusted out along the roads as a reminder of the past golden times.
We traveled again these past days the similar routes taking us to Midland, and what some might see as “ugliness”, I again saw it as the beauty of the land mixed in with the human labor we could not do without, we could not run our vehicles whichever they are. We have seen the “extraordinaire” formations of Mother Nature’s work, constantly doing and undoing the colors and the textures and the shapes of her canvas, but this attraction is a bit of a different beauty, it is the heart of it all that allows us to keep moving as we did these past few days to Midland and back.
We left a day early and arrived late as I was suppose to take medications 24 hrs ahead of the surgery. We are here, in Midland, and that’s alright because I know we are not staying. I had this vision when we passed some apartments for rent. I saw us renting a one bedroom and sitting there wondering what to wonder. Would the walls stay white or would they darken with time. How did we manage to leap so far ahead, maybe too far? The roads we can do, the Cities we cannot anymore. And yet here at the Hospital people are nice. They have been nice everywhere, including at Walmart. They have not lost it all and it is comforting. I smile at them, maybe they feel a bit of the Desert I brought with us, maybe a bit of the blue skies and the sunsets and sunrises here present were still visible within me toward them. I am floating soulfully a bit above all the layers because I know tomorrow morning will be the surgery and the going to sleep artificially which I feel is worse than the surgery itself. So my earplugs are pushed in a bit further than where they would normally be, there honestly is a bit of anxiety. But the travel was of a fine one.
The advances of Modern Medicine. Did not feel a thing. I was in the midst of putting my ear buds in, silly me to listen to my music, I was still in the midst of putting my ear buds in when I heard my name mentioned as we were done. Very strange. 3 hours had passed by, the element of surprise. But the price to pay is afterwards, not as much as the pain, but the tilt of the complete body trying to reject the chemicals induced to allow such procedure to be without pain. I wonder often, as this not being the first time, which route would be better. The true pain, or this lethargic aftermath as almost, is, being in someone else’s body. Mind and all.
We are back, a bit of a crazy time as we should have stayed an extra night, but the fact that Spirit had been so patient had me moved to bring him back to his land where he could run and be his better self. He took good care me as irrational as it may sound. What patience. Not a word, only this look when I came back out, this look with his ears down, these eyes wide open asking me if I was alright as he knew I was not, but also knew I was strong enough not to let him down as never I have. So slowly we made it, even managing to get lost only once and take some photos which I thought would look better this time around in black and white.
I have above an excerpt of “On the Road” by Jack Kerouac because it has to be one of the craziest book I have ever read. Travels in the 40’s, much reality, a bit demented, harsh and poetic all at the same time. The common denominator being the thirst of adventure across these vast lands we live on. Chapters of fantasy when youth takes over their desires, sad and happy, cries and laughter, it is all there, amazingly. “as the cabby drove us up the infinitely dark Alameda Boulevard along which I had waked many and many a lost night the previous months of the summer, singing and moaning and eating the stars and dropping the juices of my heart drop by drop on the hot tar…” I think if the book had photos, some here might be it.
Till next time, you all be well, always, it is our best choice.
Ara & Spirit
“PLEASE do not e mail us with attachments. No photos. No funny cartoons. Text only. Photos? PLEASE use links only from a Photo Gallery. AT&T has permanently and indefinitely removed all my roaming services, voice and data from too much usage.”