"The mind creates the abyss, and the heart crosses it." ~ Sri Nisargadatta ~
“ I am so glad that you are in such a "good place", both mentally and emotionally. It will help you heal faster and with less pain. My sense is that you have really turned a corner … no matter what happens, you will never go back to quite the same place that you have been in before. You will never, ever be quite so "down" … the night will never be quite as black or as long before the dawn begins. That is such a gift! You worked very hard to get to this point. You have endured your Journey and accepted all the lessons that were thrown at you as part of the rite of passage. You have done the "biblical" crying in the wilderness …. and now you can savor the reward that is being offered to you.
I am SO happy that you are getting to enjoy some "jewels" now. You worked for the day when you could find some peace and balance in a world that was absent of the soul which meant so much to you. You found a way to use memories and love to embroider the edges of the hole left in your life. You worked hard. You earned your way here … your dear boy managed to help lift you and push you and whisper in your ear in your sleep and have you raise your eyes at the right time, and meet those other eyes across the room. You risked the pain and decided to dance. No matter what happens, you made the right choice.” ~ Carol ~
In Tucson for now a few days, the joyful end of Christmas is behind us, smiles and that fuzzy feeling have come up to the surface when it’s reel plays itself over and over, what a Gift of Life these past days have been, as the present ones are as a trail on this path taken, a trail and a tail all so tied in together. An emotional day “Christmas” has been, all of such positive emotions. Much cooking, laughter, even the dogs “Audrey” and “Spirit” and Ms. Cool Cat “Lovey” have had their own souls heightened, exuberant they were as us, as also dinner nearing, candles lit, music on, lovely Robin looking more beautiful than ever inside and out, all joined in with the both of us as suddenly the reality descended upon me thinking “it has been a long, long, meaning a very long time…”. Laughter mixed in with tears of happiness flowing on this special day, the peak of this mountain always shaded these past years has made it’s presence through the clouds blown away with such an inner forecast of happiness present.
Much cooking, and more cooking. How can I not in this fully furbished kitchen. I still need to find time to go through the photos taken and post the recipes which I know as we did many will enjoy. Goat cheese and sweet dates wrapped with prosciutto, chicken sates marinating first for more than a day and grilled on skewers on pecan wood, a true Thai recipe given to me as a gift many years ago, a Cheesecake which melted in our mouth, another recipe gifted about I believe over 30 years ago which has won at one time a God Medal. Those recipes I feel are to be shared, create joy within someone else’s palate and above all “smiles” all around… maybe even some eyes rolling of pleasure unlike any.
Today, a few days ahead of this year which again will turn into a new one, the above skies are gray and some colder weather is on it’s way, maybe even snow. Snow in Tucson? It will be another gift for the senses if it happens. We took advantage a couple days ago with good weather and a constant array of moving clouds within the blue skies taking a ride up the nice and curvy road leading up to Mt Lemon topping almost at 10,000 feet. It was a day as a prescription for well being since I cannot ride “Old Faithful” right now. If only Spirit could, what an irony that he cannot yet handle the hack! Maybe we will work on that a bit more when we return to the empty roads of the Big Bend flats and it’s Desert. The sights were grandiose, the air clean and fresh rejuvenating us as pumping into our bodies and soul a well being only Mother Nature can.
I sat outside today amongst the cactuses with a view fortunately non crowded with other dwellings. I closed my eyes and transported to “The Oasis” my smile came up even of a deeper meaning. And yet the smiles, the well being today and these days have been here, right here and nowhere else. It is always this feeling and thought of “is all this real?”…” or is it I might wake up and all would be just a good Dream? It is a real Dream, as yes, we have both decided to risk the pain and dance to the present music. The pain however has not been present as we will not allow for it to even show a shadow of it’s face, to even pronounce this word now tucked away in quarantine in this little drawer which we have locked and thrown the key away. This has been the greatest Gift one can receive and give all at the same time, a Gift I can only hope is shared throughout everyone else’s Soul, not only on this Christmas Day but for every day we are here present. “Dance to the Music… don’t stop now…”.
Ara & Spirit
Be Safe and well
Peace, Love, Courage
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