“I see my path, but I do not know where it leads. Not knowing where I am going inspires me to travel it” [Rosalia de Castro]
It always surprised me to hear this procedure of cutting the gums being called a “surgery”. I am not anymore as today the real pain has finally made it’s way trying to uncap my skull in more directions than one. My favorite is when “they” say… “oh! it will be nothing”. Reminds me of my five heart bypasses when they insisted “it will not hurt”. Who are you kidding? Why do they say that creating an instant distrust. Part II will be January 22nd back in Midland. Something to look forward to. Liquid diet however is good for me to loose those few “Thanksgiving” pounds. The downside of it all will be that even with nice and healthy teeth, when I daily hear “hey… good looking…”, I know it will still be addressed for Spirit as usual.
The camera was not much active these past few days, Maybe next time now knowing the road through the oil fields, but somehow my mind was. With not much else to do I felt a photo~video of Spirit and Old Faithful would be appropriate. I am now realizing that I have over 100,000 photos stored. These are just a few from day one when the truck delivered the sidecar! The photos of Spirit with his red goggles where also his very first ride. No hesitations. He jumped in as he would today. I was surprised finding those photos. They were the start of our Journey. The rest, well, I am just rambling on my way to Midland and back.
I met a young man this evening at the Laundromat, he is 19, him and his Fiancé are expecting a child in a few months. Our conversation brought back the past notes still rezoning within me with while Lance standing across me. His name is Brendon and his own spirituality caught me off guard as to his awareness on Life, Friendships, providing toward his present relationship, photography, writing wearing his heart on his sleeve, helping others on the path of Hope. How can that be when at such early age, someone I call a kid. Unpolished maybe, roots yet not fully grounded, yes, but such an incredible energy riding this wave while most will never even see the waters. Hardship was his reply. A Father that never fulfilled his role, raised in the ghetto, a younger brother mentally challenged, but a Mother as his role model. Why does it always seemingly take such hardship, specially being raised in poverty for one to catapult themselves on a much needed stage, not only to survive, but beyond to help others. The Love of Life itself? or are there the chosen ones to stand above it all? I am impressed, I am filled with wishes for this young man to have the priviledge of a long Life as I know others will look up to him and his radiance will touch the many Souls he will cross path with. The barriers have disappeared, the material wealth has now made room for the golden heart, the precious, not metal, but human aspect so much wishing we would all have, as many do, but not enough of us. The World will not stop from spinning, yet, but most hardships bring on this flow within ourselves for most to better our moments with one of the greatest and most important word I can never set aside "Hope".
I have spoken with few that have lived in an era where the word hope had no meaning. None. They are the past War survivors. I have seen photographs not long ago taken by a Photojournalist present on the forefront of the war. One look at the eyes and one can see such aspiration no longer exists. One look at the eyes of the farmer in foreign lands not only his crop and home burned down, but his empty glare while his hands laying flat on his child’s face closing his eyelids for ever. The older soldier taking the bullets while sacrificing his own body to let live the younger soldier, who in turn is caught in a different line of fire. Hope has left them all. What was once the force of Life has now lost not only it’s strength but it’s total meaning. While we can, us, rich or poor as I do consider our wealth always being within, we cannot loose hope, as even myself need to heal and always make room since we are allowed to be privileged of doing and feeling so. As much as we are on our own path ourselves, we cannot never avoid crossing tracks with the present realities that surrounds us. They frighten me often, not in any physical way, but thinking how narrow this corridor is becoming for all of us to live in harmony. I was today told the story of a Pastor taking his own Life in front of his own wife, so angry he wanted her to watch him as she did. How could this happen? Where did it all go wrong? Another story happening Sunday right here in Terlingua. A 19 year old young man was kidnapped by two others, raped, taken to a home, raped again, his car was set on fire right in the Ghost Town. The two individuals have been caught as it turns out they have a long list of previous offenses. How can such horror take place from anyone, not only individuals that we might have bumped into, but just from anyone period. How many others are surrounding us in this vast Desert, a gem of a space and yet now darkened by shadows of such incredible horrific acts.
I just don’t know this morning how to feel as this is only a minute splinter considering the carnage that happens in the big cities. I cannot help feeling the white and pure is now clouded by a shade of gray not quite as flawless as it was. It saddens me that maybe I cannot anymore, should not, only look straight ahead but might have to glance over my shoulder at times when I did not. There have been previous news of that sort happening not too long ago not too far from here. Another man was assaulted again near by the Ghost Town in the middle of the night, a couple thieves where on a rampage all summer till finally caught red handed, one shipped out of State because of his Father’s connections, the other I understand still living just a few miles from here, supposedly on probation, which as the two men assaulting the 19 year old young man does not mean a thing around here.
This is the end of the line. This is where a few have moved permanently, a few others as us spend the winter month. We all have our reasons of being here. I always thought as even our Lifestyles and dwelling differs, the beauty surrounding us was the consideration for being here. I now realize that for some it is not so. It is a vast empty space where anyone can run away in hiding from their past not fitting in the mainstream of society due to blemishes conceived in their past. The walls seem as they have moved closer now, it seems as the senses need to be sharpened a bit more as who knows who will some day get on this road of ours with ill thoughts.
Till next time, you all be well, always, it is our best choice.
Ara & Spirit