“It is this what you mean, isn’t it: that the river is everywhere at once, at the source and at the mouth, at the waterfall, at the ferry, at the rapids, in the sea, in the mountains, and that there is only the present time for it, not the shadow of the past, not the shadow of the future?” [Hermann Hesse “Siddharta”]
Someone not too long ago asked me who was I running away from? Three years on the move with never much rest, these are the first days we have truly not even contemplated a destination, a true one, a far one that would take us onto new roads and sceneries. I did not like the question at the time, it startled me. I ignore it and for that reason I do not even remember who had pronounced it. The answers are mixed as I truly like traveling, and yet, here at the Oasis, within the most comfortable and pleasant and peaceful environment I deep down know that I have been biting my time, wanting to be here and yet when am, wanting to leave. It has been troubling me with much thoughts as I do find every moment being the present, only to often fool myself and run away from it, run away from “my” and “self” as maybe the ostrich burying his head in the sand, my sand being those long blue ribbons of roads most unwelcoming in these colder and harsher times.
All these past destinations, these magical Spaces so elaborated by Mother Nature have truly induced much easiness in my Life recent past. My own Spirituality has always been within the trials and tribulations of the oncoming steps ahead, but the sights, the wonders of those foreign lands laid ahead in discovery day after day have always paved the path a bit smoother. It seems as I have been trying to reach and reach time after time this imaginary moment that truly has never materialized, never as the start of this day, today, when I truly looked at myself and wondered what the present held, if it even held anything of any value.
I shall not stop seeking the beauty of this Earth, but to find more of it, I am realizing that I have to find more of it in the present moment within myself and not disregard these nowadays gifts staring at me, most likely wondering why my vision is not resting as it use to be on my now surroundings. I have been walking around here like a zombie lately, my only true smile and exuberance being in between Spirit and I. He knows me well, he knows me better than myself can find the words to describe my recent state of mind. I know this because he is happier as he feels and knows that also together we will overcome this next step. He is the light in my Life, he is my laughter and my reminder of the moments I might have at times disregarded. How can I not as his agenda is only to make me happy day after day and after day. Only when I think we have learned so much from each other do I realize there is another chapter awaiting us. He does not allow me to be as quiet as I use to be. He does not let me sink into my pensive moods as I often since here enveloped myself with. He is the cheerleader now so often as he knows too well of my Love and affection for him, as he knows too well how to break me into laughter with his ears popped up and clowning around with his imaginary sought after maybe companion he will never catch.
And again I think and ask myself as I have so often… “now what?”. The answer is taking shape as the present moments keep on knocking, as I cannot ignore their presence not only at times but always as how can I allow any particle of Life to be wasted away. Last evening was one of this enchanted magical evenings in the Ghost Town of Terlingua. A while ago I received an invitation which read: “Just wondering when you would be coming back to Terlingua. No there will be no Miner’s Reunion this year, but there will be a great Day of the Dead event (Monday, November 2). I have been asked by several to invite you to a party happening here, at my house, Saturday night, October 31st (I live in the Ghost Town). There will be 40 international photo-journalists (including 5 Pulitzer Prizewinners) and several of them adore your blog. Actually, they will be here for the entire weekend and beyond, and I just get them Saturday night, but I asked if I could pepper their party with some individuals from Terlingua and they specifically asked for you. Let me know when you make your way down here to God’s Country. Its beau gorgeous right now.”
It is now the day after and I have made my offerings to my moments as I feel Peace from within. As on queue Mother Nature has also offered her own Peace blending in with mine, a beautiful weathered Day after last night’s magical evening surrounded by so many talented people, their minds and souls and friendship within the same path as mine. I could not help at first feeling strangely intimidated by such, some with over forty years of incredible photojournalism experience, award pages would not be sufficient to enumerate. And as time passed by, words of wisdom exchanged, compliments I had never expected of my own doings, yes, I was proud of it all, there is no sense of me hiding it.
They had seen the physical and the intricate mental World so many only skim the surface of it all, that is if we even have an awareness of it’s existence. I was so much into the moment which I thought greatly would be theirs, their’s because of so much of everyone’s accomplishments, and yet “they” showed me a path which made me understood it was all the same moment “now” belonging to all of us. Food was plentiful, our Hostess Cynta the most gracious, helpful and Loving, Greg… the Cook who after seeing the World his fingers on the shutter for forty years, now had switched gear grating, cooking and blending with pots and pans. Earlier, good news had arrived. The dog that generously gifted me with his tooth prints had been previously vaccinated, a relief truly after I also have to admit, some tense times.
It was after all “Halloween” night as even the fire seem to carry it’s own face…
Strangely enough as I sit here in the shade of my Oasis, the skies seems bluer, the greens are greener, the air is so pure here, only Spirit is today unchanged as his Soul always escapes my own tribulations as I try to ride these wrinkles of Life. It is quite a ride, engine and wheels not even needed!
Till next time, you be well.
Ara & Spirit