“They are really only two positions one can take in Life. Hope or Fear. Hope strengthens. Fear kills.” [quote]
The days will blend in, one past another they will stand each on their own as markers to the moments continuously added to this path of mine. The multicolor strand marked by time will go on till I am allowed to do so, as sometimes away from here I forget about this all. Glad that this space reminds me so clearly of who I am, trying to define my own purpose. I feel as I have docked into a land here called “stand still”, a bit of panic maybe as I want to go forward only and always, and yet realize moments later that maybe the physical aspect of it all here might have come to a halt only externally, but internally letting the mind free to itself on it’s own be allowed to take bigger steps.
I stand immobile within the center of this vortex, this giant theatre I have been placed on where the view is of 360 degrees, it’s composition manipulated, painted, rearranged as never to rest by Mother Nature as if it is it’s constant outdoing from it’s previous moments that gives me the strength to go on and let my Soul leap forward in discovery of so much that we live for and with. This is the arena where “my” and “self” can truly co-exist, recognize each other, nurture, even re-invent themselves digging deep within their own past boundaries.
This is the only space I have found serving me such an allowance to my days and nights, and yet I cannot stay here constantly forever as “my” wants so often to move on to the new encounters awaiting, those new passages that will strike new feelings with the unknown laid ahead. None has truly matched the serenity I find here, the “magic” as I call it, giving me the ability to inhale that extra ounce or two of air that settles my “self” letting me pass my time, letting me acquire my thoughts spilling them in total harmony. Emptiness surrounds me as far as I can see and yet it is so filled with my own needs as almost the path was marked long time ago to bring me here and expand my own inner horizons.
We have traveled much the summer months, maybe a bit more this past one seeking “this” somewhere else, finding and witnessing incredible landscapes, landscapes more “extraordinary” than here, magical in their own shapes and colors and even feels, but never has a square inch of land and sky has given me what today I feel and experience oh! so content to be here. I had never even heard of Big Bend a few years back. Only did when after leaving East and stopping in San Antonio an acquaintance of mine suggested we come here for a few days of riding and camping.
Texas, throughout my past travels, was always picking one of the horizontal highways, getting in and getting out. I remember seeing Big Bend on the map for the very first time, a large blob of green and thinking how big this area was, how I could not go wrong trying it out even if it was for a few days as from the beginning of this Journey “time” I knew would have no consequences what so ever. There is one hill on highway 118 which when over it’s peak to this day has never stopped being “the view” that has put it’s claws into me and did as far back as the first time over it. It is still the stage that empowers me, it is always “that moment”, even if only going 60 miles to Alpine and coming back the same day, it is invariably that juncture that raises the curtain for me and all it’s weight, the thoughts associated with any path through the “outside” suddenly vanishes and the breathing again can start filling me with Peace and Love so much seeked throughout my nowadays.
I have written so much about “The Oasis” I feel, it is almost as I think I will repeat myself with my own words and thoughts, and yet it never happens to be so. It just plainly amazes me as to the power and the presence emanated from the “now” as if being on this “tall”, very tall spiral staircase I cannot even see it’s final step as brightly lit as it could be, as I know… I feel… so strongly that my beloved Son will always be waiting for me, as I also abide to his own desires of some day joining him, and again feel complete as it was just a while back, as maybe my search will then end, as perhaps all of this will make better sense when my own flesh and blood will be altogether one with me.
Till next time…
Thank you and be well…
Ara & Spirit