“The personal life deeply lived always expands into truths beyond itself” [Anais Nin]
“The Oasis” mirroring the Sunset. “EVERGREEN”… not a bad word, but might need some paint.
Often times my thoughts are written while on a ride or a hike or by the Fire Ring, my thinking Center, for that matter anywhere I can stop to not loose those thoughts. With the help of an I Phone the words are then e mailed to myself. Sometimes they are in parallel with the page photos, sometimes they are not in which case I briefly sub title them, almost as a Journal within a Journal. They are not two separate path within one, they are just the same, within different moments I don’t want to loose.
Mule Ears in Big Bend Park
We have been hammered, bounced around, abused by this wind called “Rick”, a late present from South of the border from us. Wind was always a welcome embrace while sailing, spending my past years on waters many thought “boring” but never truly alike from one minute to the other. Here on land, here where nothing is suppose to be moving or swaying too much, winds passing for a few hours through, seems to be as a subliminal message digging into the best of me. It is early this morning, it is dark and black as I cannot see the skies, but there is a rest as only the crickets can now be heard surrounding us. It is a side of the coin I calmly relate to, breath in and breath out awaiting maybe the next front, who knows, maybe the last one of this summer season. Such power we witness and feel always as little specs of sand throughout it all as we can only hope being lodged within the parameters of a certain safety zone. It humbles me when amongst such turmoil, including the human kind, thinking and assuming we are always in control when it is only a pigment of our imagination.
Old Maverick Road on the worse shape I have ever seen, but much fun.
Everyday the devastation on this Earth is immense. Not a day goes by without a certain horrible number of Life ending scenarios, either in the form of an Earthquake, Hurricane, Tornado, Tsunami and on. And we can add our own doings, the “modernization” of our civilization encompassing the cutting of thousands of acres of trees per day, 50 acres a minute to be exact, mega tons of carbon monoxide pollution, the much drilling, not into the ground only but those holes up in the skies which will slowly leak through, what generations to come will be faced a bit too late for their own survival. It is such a deeply today rooted script for only to go faster and faster as if time was going to let us borrow any of it’s capital totally interest free.
I have been to the big cities, I even lived in Los Angeles many moons ago for a couple years. The ribbons of metal, those four wheeled vehicles inching away one yard at the time, I was amongst them all. Buckets full of the grayish color of smoke filled my lungs weighing my breathing wetted by my eyes tearing themselves, unable to handle the chemistry surrounding us. And what was it all about? Trying to catch up to a number in Life we were designated with? trying to not get behind it as it mattered so much at the time? So much has changed today. “If I only knew at the time what I know today” I keep thinking, and yet, wondering if the path truly would have been so different or is it that wisdom, a form of it anyhow, comes with time?
Approaching Santa Helena Canyon on Old Maverick Rd
I told myself that I would not ask questions, but these are easy ones, they are the common ones all should know and have as to when ascending through Life as we do. Wish I could with the proper words convey what “The Oasis” does to me, does to Spirit also. I can breathe here, I can think and mostly I can feel. The day has come up now, dark is replaced by gray, some mountain tops are as wearing a crown receiving the few rays escaping from above. Suddenly I am also myself waiting for some rays. My morning path has taken another direction. My Mother unleashed on me this morning for no other reason than being in her eighties, and probably not realizing the hurt feelings she projected on this lonely one phone line, my voice connection to her. And yet trying to understand I don’t, as the story goes much deeper than just the few words of today.
Santa Helena Canyon
If close to five hundred chapters have filled these pages in the span of three years, it would take thousands to express the past ones, the ones before, my ancient own reality show within this unrealistic at times Life. I think we all have been the many characters our parents have been wanting us to be. And of course through their eyes we have miserably failed, no doubt. I know my Son did not fail even when he himself thought he did, even when at times I was brushed upon by that same impression. Him and I do not have that luxury to ponder on anymore, Life has taught me well the priorities that often vanish forgotten while present. As the tree we also add on our own circle of growth, and yet it seems as sometimes we do not weather so well as our fragile branches broken lay to rot beneath us.
Sotol Look Out
Just another Day, some thoughts, some said and some unsaid ones. I think it is time to build a fire and watch the flames dancing in the night, they might have something to say. They will twist and swing incessantly unlike the New Moon which is now on the horizon, a thin crescent, a dim orange which we watch going over to the other side, slowly but surely as a bright lit dagger throughout his last moments we witness disappearing.
My favorite hang out for the “Soul”… “Sotol Look Out”
Till next time, you be well.
Ara & Spirit