“The city has withdrawn into itself and left at last the country to the country …” Robert Frost
All is the same and yet nothing is, as it is different, and at times odd, peculiar maybe? I want to go behind door number one with my favorite expressionless out off the tip of my tongue and pick “wow”, as I can put my finger on it, it just does not however stick and the thought slips away. Reality, in and for all occasions and situations can be so different than what one’s mind often projects within their Dreams, as thoughts are, Dreams which we might want to only fantasize to give us the certain illusion of an euphoric Life we could lead. And yet it can happen that such Dreams becomes actuality, in such sense that it does take place. I just cannot fathom it’s differences, yet, as the steps become lighter, so vivid to the senses that it blinds it all as a warm flash of light so bright and yet so indifferent because of it’s colorless luster.
The balancing act of the nights and days suddenly requires a new scale. Compounded with tasks around here while left behind for 5 months, I am suddenly realizing that I did have a lot of time on my hands just not too long ago. “La Pettite” and I have gone through the much always anticipated “need” and “want” discussions. There is no doubt that I am trying hard to adjust the forward motion we have both decided to “want”, to try, to adventure ourselves on within this desolate ground. This Space which now has one more Soul to nurture. For our moments as they pass on, suddenly there are more than one or two options stepping through them.
And I am realizing, as often as I have denied it, that this Space can now be called Home, a word which added to all else that has been accrued makes it all even more unbalanced. For the first time however, “unbalanced” is not seen in a negative fashion as I am finding out, but instead a creative progress for these days. “Home”, I would have never thought in my wildest Dreams this end of the World like Space with only far distant neighbors and quiet skies would be it. How can it not as more and more others are also experiencing it, however finding it too far and too remote to make it a permanent dwelling unlike me for these winter months. It is “Home Base” to me, a good Home Base as no others, a terrain itself which is also becoming creative with certain now needs accruing since being here with more than just Spirit.
Spirit! I almost want to call him “double pleasured” as suddenly one more Soul is in Love with him and the Human treats have doubled in numbers and volume. I don’t think his Life can get any better, as I have also appreciated his own acceptance of “La Pettite” in his own Life, of course remains to be seen in his eyes how big his heart will be when he has to share his sidecar with her for a while. We are taking our ability to travel down the roads one day at the time as Old Faithful is our only frugal way to go on as we will be exploring many of the areas of Texas. Some I have not seen yet, and some loving being the tour guide throughout familiar sights.
We have not gone anywhere yet, I have not had my fill of this plate Mother Nature is serving for every moment we are here, doubt I will ever have a portion I cannot resist as it’s colors, it’s shapes, it’s feel and winds are incessantly on the move keeping my senses so busy as I missed “this” so much. We arrived with dark skies and as I waited watching with care the clouds roll on and lifting their caps off the mountain tops, suddenly as with a giant hand they were pushed away letting the sunshine and blue skies into our World here. How can this not be my “Oasis”? And yet it’s beauty these past couple of days has tore me up at the same time. I am happy to share it with my Friend, but I also know who I would really like to share it with, as October 13th rolls around, a date that takes me back to that moment almost now 32 years ago when Lance took his first breath. Why did I also have to be here when he took his last one?
The more beautiful and serene my surrounding is, the more I bow to his sacrifice that has allowed me, pushed me, paved the path of my own Soul opening up to such artistry and refinement of these past three years. How ironic as those thoughts never cease to turn my gears themselves never truly giving me a reply as to the certainty of my own path these days. Dreams and reality, they seem to have become the stage names to each side of this present coin never quite defining it’s own boundaries.
My kitchen was ready upon our return, none of it had been disturbed, not a single rock or log of this incredible pecan wood not many have had a chance to experience it’s flavor unlike any other wood. A stew went on quickly, food for a couple days, warmth for the evening and a visual pleasure to watch the flames dancing as the sun takes it’s break for the night replaced these days by an increasing moon lighting up the Space with an incredible intensity. I always call this the best “dining room” in the World, unequaled truly it is.
Sunrises and Sunsets are one of the true realities here. East or West they have their own show on a daily bases, moments when everything else comes to a halt, the start of a day, the end of a day, it never ceases. How fortunate I have been to find this land or was it the land that has found me? Sometimes I feel as I am maybe dreaming of all this, specially while away these summer months, but this part is not a Dream, the landscape is here to stay and so are we.
All at the same time, the Eastern Stage… and below the Western Stage…
Till next time…
Thank you and be well…
Ara & Spirit