Do I or do I not?… TX

Monday, September 21st, 2009

“A knife in a drawer without a sheath is a hand without fingers”

A few stops, a few photos, always “Americana”. From a Native Indian holding his hope toward the Sun, the irony of sunflowers at the same time elapsed from their own growth, little towns one wonders why we have seen no one this past hour, an old car with much back seat room open for the imagination to let us wonder, some giant black rubber cylinders, wishing they where my motorcycle tires, Slaton, which seems no one ever visit with it’s creative murals. They are glances of our route while going south, it seems as we are only 300 miles or so away from “The Oasis”…

Hope  

There goes those “TX” initials again while arriving in Lubbock from those northern States we spent, I now realize, six months crisscrossing. Is it time for reflection? maybe some anxiety time awaiting seeing my cherished land again, building that first fire to light up the night and the skies for that initial go around? It really is not it. I so often think about what am I doing, how much writing as much as riding has been so therapeutically beneficial these past 3 years, as today, Spirit’s and my situation, living logistics, have a bit changed. I am being “mild” in my wording when I say “a bit changed”. I have had a hard time putting into words these past few days, because of, for one, lack of hours left while dropping south as we have, but also, reason for this title I have been dwelling on “Do I or do I not?…”

sunflowers  

I have never seen these past and present chapters as much of an entertainment value, for myself anyhow, even if many have thought so, due to the picturesque spaces we  have never ceased to visit, will never cease to frequent. I close myself tightly in this chamber often enough to be able to splurge my thoughts into words, they are part of my Life and a path that also will not change. As I write “living logistics”, it’s reason is because of a good Friend of mine, of ours really, has joined us to share “The Oasis”. And I have been given, by a good Dear Friend of mine, some serious advice, not about our Life, as I have known in the recent past, but, what is private and what is not? What thoughts are and which are not?

shack  
shack shack
old car  

How can I truly keep in the dark what is now lit day in and day out? How can I build this artificial facade that was never there not to allow anyone to know that from two we have grown to three. I understand one’s limitations of their words exposed in public, but yet, my Life is my own as it’s branches have seeded from the recent past, and if there had to be a void in my written thoughts for the sole reason of total privacy, well, I would have nothing to write about as so much of these past chapters have been from that stage. The arena is the same, the book is the same, all I feel is, and yet is not, as the present moments have already swelled up from an inner wealth if it is only to feel the presence of a caring person.

chevy  
chevy chevy
chevy chevy

I am still, we are still of course on this formidable wave as being the biggest and highest either of us has experienced in a long time, a very long time, and, one moment at the time, as written in past chapters, we will surf it’s currant to only the highest peaks we both can. The beauty of “The Oasis” awaits us, no fences and no gates, and yet, no one either on the horizons to blemish the Space that will be so dear to us. Who would have ever thought of these present moments only even a while ago. I think only Lance did, as I feel his gift of Life only expanding within his generosity that has so much kept me afloat. “It’s all good” I always hear, as his words have echoed with every milestone of this path as I listen to him and maybe not others, others that might have as I was told not so long ago “hit a wall”… an expression reinforced already toward us as I smiled when I had to endure it’s vocalized meaning. It just amazes me how “negative” some can be, not only are, if it would be enough toward themselves but toward others that have not, yet at the time anyhow, even taken the first step.

Slaton mural  
dentist mural Photographer mural

We are near by Lubbock right now, little town of Slaton, this is our last chance for any kind of real provisions as the size of the cities will dwindle, I call it “back down to canned food”. Projects are ahead of us, some to do with these chapters, projects I have not been able to fulfill alone for lack of time. Some have to do with the land, a tent here, a pipe here, a couple more fire pits for more outdoor cooking… as last year, who knows. Ideas are always there, reality is often quite different once in the winter space that awaits for us. We were laughing last night, our thoughts were onto the Pioneer Days. Spirit and I left a few months ago, we have gone cross country, we are going back now with… “a woman”. Just as in the good old days. Only much better.

cat

mural wall

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Thank you and be well…

Ara & Spirit

tires  
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2 Responses to “Do I or do I not?… TX”

  1. Louise Says:

    Yes, I think it would be difficult to hide from your readers that you have a new traveling companion 🙂 I am happy for you that you are embarking on this new phase. We, your loyal readers, of course understand that you will not share EVERYTHING with us, that what goes on between any two people at any stage of friendship has the right to be private.

    I hope you will share your overall moods and thoughts. The specifics are yours to treasure and keep!

  2. Mark (Law Dawg) Says:

    You will, as always, go with your heart Ara but…you knew there would be a butt in this didn’t you? The lady has the right to decide how much (if any) publicity she wants and you would not violate that I know. There is much to be said for a touch of mystery in the affairs of our hearts and she is a mysterious figure right now. Might be just the ticket…;-)

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