Monday June 15th, evening. Why do I feel as the Journey is only starting? Is it because I am getting close to hovering into this “moment” longer and longer? And yet, when my Friend KC picked up his children, 8 and 5, the padlock shut within my chest and I could not see their faces but only Lance’s as the past frames suddenly started unreeling faster and faster taking a Life of their own. It was all I could do to hold my tears back waiting to be alone to let them flow freely trying to grab the past that will never be here again.
I don’t care truly, let it be, let it be of these moments. They are not of despair, they are of acceptance, they are the weight that I carry on my back, they are the visions through this fog that surrounds me, a blur with only one frame so sharp, so vivid, so loud, so warm, so gentle that I can feel my past embraces, my lingering hugs with him. I can feel the touch of his skin, warm and at times the young child so soft and so new to Life yet not exposed to the elements awaiting him. I can feel the weathered skin at other times when present past the years he himself has endured. I can feel his eyes so green and so piercing with such anticipation to his own future that never came but with a gentleness that brushed my heart with his strokes within his Love so strong for his own moment.
Dam Life… Dam Life… what have you done to us? My strength can only hold up so long. Give me some time to replenish my tears, give me some time to feel again the strength that I so much need to get me through these days. When will I see him again? When will the next embrace again will make me alive and take away these shadows that come and goes with no warnings on this path paved with the cobblestones of Life? I live today surrounded with a beauty unequaled ever through my own vision. This is for now. It will not get any better, but it is better. Mother Nature with her greens and her reds, her peaks and her valleys tries so hard to entice my own moments to go on. She has never quit as I am the one that at times opens that chapter, that dark chapter filled with the obscure fonts curled up in a dark corner that calls me with such easiness toward my own left end of the road.
I have my Friends, my kind Friends, my such good hearted Friends that look upon me as to keep me within the boundaries I should be on. I meet them with their smiles, with their Love, their respect, their Friendships. I read their words for the ones I have never met wishing I do. Wishing that maybe their own hugs will take away these colors I do not like to embrace letting me enjoy only the white and pure that surrounds us all. Oh! these moments… I do not wish they go away as it is my legacy to endure them. I don’t know anymore what I wish for. To be here or to be there? Would it even make a difference… and yet the words of my promise echoes so strongly that my guilt to deviate from them comes back to hunt me as to give me the strength that I need to go on.
Tuesday June 16th, evening. We left Lander today, we left the kindness and the care we both felt so heartedly from KC and Mia those past few days it took us to regroup. It is the silver lining of this cloak that drapes some of my moments as also today being on the road was. “White Elephant” has stayed behind, hopefully for a few months. I started wondering even why she did not stay behind in Texas. My own logic sometimes seemingly is so illogical that I don’t often even try to understand myself. There was a multitude of little things to fix, the ones that do not endure the weather so well and come apart. And then the packing which I really enjoy as much as I would enjoy a giant jigsaw puzzle… which I do. The nightmare of course as previously stated is the “electronics”. Everything needing to be powered up through AC or DC, sometimes both. I have no clue what happened between then and now. All this slowly showed up…
Thursday June 17th, morning. The ride yesterday was a welcome stage hopefully pointing the way to the more acts to come. Perfect weather, perfect route, perfect winds, it was as the red carpet was laid out for us to go on forward west.
We had pulled over for a short break when this car also came to a stop. Of course I wanted to take a picture of it, a 1956 Chevrolet Bel Air Nomad, one of those in pristine condition, totally restored as I found out, returning from a car show.
What I did not know at the time, as I felt luck was on my side, was the fact that this very space was years ago the trail for the Pony Express, the California Trail, the Oregon Trail and the Mormon Pioneer Trail. A few miles from there is what they are calling it now the “Parting of the Ways”, the intersection that lead thousands of Pioneers making a right to Oregon, a left to Utah and California. I could still, as written on a plaque, see the ruts made by the old wagon wheels. Much to think about, much to ponder about, same space, same ground, the years have passed as here we are with suddenly such advanced technology and fast vehicles, wondering what will it be in another 100 hundred years, add a thousand years maybe? Will the ruts still be here?
We stopped again at the entrance of Red Canyon, still unfortunately not accessible because of the previous rains, took one more picture of it this time lined with the blue skies. The roads are incredibly beautiful, one just needs to experience them within yesterday’s settings. We then arrived at Bear Lake which at that moment was a beautiful bright and almost glaring blue due to the limestone bottom it rests on. My thought was to camp somewhere on the shores till I realized that it was that time for a mosquito convention. I think they had come from all over the country including Louisiana as my belief has always been it being their National Bird. Within minutes we were covered by them, Spirit also was, time had gone by, the sun went away taking also with her that beautiful color present just a few moments ago. I quickly put my helmet back on, dropped the visor and we took off for what I consider one of the most beautiful roads around, Highway 89 which took us toward Logan, north of Salt Lake City.
Highway 89, even on a week day, had much motorcycle traffic as I can understand why. Smooth curves, smooth surface, cool temperatures from the river running alongside, a perfect road for the machines that enjoy a bit of challenge in the handling department.
This morning the weather has changed again, but rain or shine we are ready to push into Nevada. I know the weather has been a concern for many as it should be. Are we coming to a point of no return within our daily pollution and changes in the skies? It sure feels as such to me including the thoughts of an uncertain future. It is time now to get back on the road. Our SPOT shows it well in real time when we are moving. The posting’s logistics might be now a bit more difficult but it sure feels as there is more wi fi available throughout the country then cell phone reception. All is well and will be well.
Your support will help us continue these endless chapters you read. It will be more than greatly appreciated.
Ara & Spirit