Live more than your neighbors.
Unleash yourself upon the world and go places.
Go now. Giggle, no, Laugh. No…stay out past dark
And bark at the moon like the wild dog that you are.
Understand that this is not a dress rehearsal.
This is it. Your life.
Face your fears and live your dreams. Take it all in.
Yes, every chance you get. Come close.
And by all means, whatever you do, get it on film.
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you are willing to risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still shout at the edges of a lake, river, or mountain, “Yes! I am a Warrior Poet!”
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live, or how much money you have, I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for someone you love.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you’re telling is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself, if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.
I want to know if you can be faithful and trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not there everyday, and if you can source your life from its presence.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and truly like the company you keep in the empty moments of your life.
And still remember me, your friend.
John Blais, who battled ALS – The Blazeman 1971-2007
A Moon rise… The photos are of “Sand Flats”, a short ride under a cloudy sky, still tired and worn out from the previous days and the Dentist.
A “Personal Journal”? An “Entertaining Journal”? “A Travel Log”? “A Dog’s Life Homeless on the Road”? Sometimes this Blog weighs on me only because of some comments that I should, but cannot ignore. However will in the future. Keeping the walls up around us allowing me to project my original path of thoughts sometimes becomes difficult when it should not be, not be at all. The path cannot be swayed by other’s words that are maybe seeking some contents I am not myself keen on, as these pages have only a main purpose which is to get so much of Life’s weight off my chest, simply, without fanfare, as a good Friend with unconditional acceptance. They have no harm, they are always good natured, they are honest, they are merely reflections of just another Life passing through this vast Universe surrounding us, they are the multitude of pixels forming this giant Red Cross that supports my nights and days.
I really don’t see a “problem” within these pages, they are my most inner feelings wide open for the taking, they are not forced upon anyone, they are only part of this giant wave of other Blogs numbering new titles at the rate of five million new ones a week. I do not seek for stardom, I do not seek for fame, I only seek for my own selfish well being as someone asked me the other day “but who helps ‘you'”? I do have a lot of help and support. So many readers have come forward and knowingly or unknowingly have helped so much, more than they can ever imagine and I am so thankful for feeling these pages blossom into a two way path lighting up such darkness that at times still surrounds me.
Every day a new page is turned, they are the peaks and the valleys as everyone else’s, as my Life cannot be so unique and is not. I am no different than anyone else. Conclusions arise, the steps from their raw form slowly are polished from the daily experiences and level off showing a brightness that illuminates the next one awaiting yet still in it’s own shadow. The process is slow, painstaking, but time is present. What else is there but time? These moments I am still allowed to breathe in and out with the good fortune of a certain ability to think. Sometimes feeling as all is stagnant, but it is not. The gears never stop, they turn and turn so smoothly that only when new images come up I am aware of their constant movements.
“Most people do not want to hear about your negative thoughts and feelings.” What is there to understand when I read those words send to me? Are my thoughts negative? Are my feelings? They are only “Human” as I would hope everyone would feel the same. There is no harm in hurting anymore. It is a facet that has so much cleared up within my thoughts lately. How dare truly anyone write those words toward another? Followed by “I know you lost a son and I can’t even imagine how that would hurt, (no you cannot) but life goes on and the people that are following you want to have a positive experience in your blog.” My only reply can only be, read the title of this Journal “The Oasis of my Soul”. It is alright, it is the card dealt, it is that piece of my heart that will never heal as vanished for ever. And is that being “negative”? or is it only being a “Being”?
I am thankful to my Son, as bitter sweet as these days are under my full acceptance, I am thankful because it is his sacrifice giving birth to my pain that has made me today a better man than I was. It is the pain that allows me to admire and feel and sense my surroundings always present within Mother Nature’s offerings. The beauty surrounding me has over time taken a glow absent before. I “feel”, so “I am”. I feel Lance’s absence, as I feel his presence also, I now accept it. I have stopped asking the questions, the same questions over and over that hunted me down, the “why’s” and the “how’s”… Why him? why me? Why?… period. And the feelings, that deep string that runs through the core of consciousness, through perceptions non existent before, it is that stand that keeps me alive. It is as a piece of my heart did vanish for ever, but a new growth has surfaced in Lance’s memory giving me the ability I would truly have never experienced otherwise.
“I know this is your blog and your travels, but if you want the support from your readers, I would advise you change your approach to what you want your readers to experience within your writings and provide them with a more positive experience.” How dare again someone write these words when not even skimming the surface of these contents? And yet… yes, these same words have helped me tremendously these past days rearrange everything in perspective within this Journey, giving me even more certitude, more than ever that these pages will never stop being the mirror of my heart, not in a negative way someone might think, but in a “Human” way… I can only thank the sender as “not understanding” they have made me “understand” my Path even better for my own greater good.
And these words send by another reader, the other end of the spectrum, that rainbow that harbors so many with such multitudes of personal facets of emotions and awareness …“Ara, thank you for this fantastic outflow of emotions, it made me think about the way I have been living my last 16 years as a human on earth, always living reserved, always saving it for another day. But this reminded me, of how quickly a life can change, and I thank you, for posting this, for helping me want to get out and stop thinking, and start doing. Start living, and stop watching.”
They also reinforce my own emotions as to what would Life be without them? What would endless nights and days be without true feelings? Happy ones, sad ones, all in between, no matter… we are designed to go through it all. Entertainment is already everywhere, designed to make us laugh and smile, but most of it is “fiction”… made up stories… embellished scenarios… marketing… wishes for the mind. True Life in itself is that circle that dips into all of it’s variations, I can only write and expel what my own “true life” is all about. I can only stay true to myself, true to these many pages, as I always say “It is just another Life story… ” I will add “not better and not worse… it just ‘is'”.
“It’s all good”
Almost three years of Photography is finally in order on Smug Mug… In “Your Favorites”, in “States”, some labeled “first year” and second year”, now also “Texas the third year”. Feel free to browse, you can even use the slide show mode and have fun. Merchandise is also available through Smug Mug. If you like to order prints, all sizes are available as I store the originals myself considering the huge bandwidth needed to upload them on the Galleries.
Your support will help us continue these endless chapters you read. It will be more than greatly appreciated.
Ara & Spirit