This “spot”… this soil we are on right now, surrounded by these indescribable monuments has left me numb since we arrived yesterday. It is so hard to describe, it is a whole new chapter and a new facet of an old one as seemingly making me feel as everything else has been vacuumed from my Life and here I am within this space even clearer than others experienced. Always that upward feeling. It is so peaceful, so quiet, so grandiose, almost intimidating that I can barely think. I also know that “this space” is not fully the contributor to some feelings lately, some thoughts, it is the many days we have been on the road bringing on new mental steps I have slowly climbed and experienced. I like thinking, that is about all I have left through these days rolling around, feeling, sensing, and since here, much clarity appears. Blank it has not been within the thoughts as I finally realized that yes, that is why I am here… not to think as much, just “be”, the ultimate into the moment times I could live for a while.
And I know as the days pass on I will come to terms with that notion, a notion that even “The Oasis” for unknown reasons did not display as often maybe as I would have wanted to. How programmed I keep thinking that I feel the mind has to go on turning it’s gears at all time. It does not have to be, it can rest, totally rest and that is fine too! I still feel and see the glances of the past years, the many years being on time, the ones with mega schedules, the ones with the constant dealings often pleasant, but sometimes also unpleasant with the various personalities making their way through with their own self indulgent demands, only because of their wealth.
This has to be the ultimate stage. Right here… right now. I don’t know how long we will be here, but I do know that I will leave this space taking it’s essence with me as I have done it in the past. There are two words that have been ringing in my mind as we have been traveling these past days, three words really which also came about while still in Texas… “stage”, “free spirit” and “the box”. I started wondering if they had any correlation as I lately have been made aware of others calling themselves “free spirit”, living on not one stage, but too many with revolving doors opening to too many boxes present and made up. Custom made for the occasion of the moment, not dishonest but also not a “true” space. The boxes do not touch each other, their lids are shut, they are spaced out as trying to be hidden from each other as only the key holder can and does jump from one into another.
They are shadowed from each other. They are I must think such a task of the mind to keep it all in order without having ever two lids open at one time. There is the “between the walls home box”…the “friends box”… the Sunday morning “service box”… there is the “I want others to believe who I want to be but I am not box”. They are the circles carefully drawn for them never to touch each other on the many revolving stages. How “free spirited” can that be? I have never in that fashion experienced it. I can only imagine the intricacy of such Life, the constant pressure from the the too many unique make ups applied.
So maybe I fooled myself a bit when I say that being here has allowed me not to think… too much. It is more finding out through retrospect what really my path has been, a public one within these pages these past few years and yet private at the same time, and the same while on my professional path, but my stage was always one, sometimes and quite often actually to the despair of my past clients. Their desperation always because I have perpetually been myself and not played the part as their surrounding characters within their own plays. The sets have changed, my stage has remained. Characters are missing, aren’t they always? For one reason or another they are. But one can always stand and be their own main character remaining within the play one was destined to be within, avoiding the path of premieres from one theatre to another.
I have been a bit under the weather these past couple days. Sore throat coupled with an ear infection and tomorrow we will ride to Monument Valley’s Clinic about 30 miles away. We have not moved much, yet, besides going to Mexican Hat which was closer than I remembered and then while there forgetting why? So we turned around and came back. I remember now, to make sure I could get some mail forwarded at the local Post Office which is also a gas station. A nice walk with Spirit around Sunset, my buddy Spirit that behaves increasingly better and better by the day throughout our ongoing talks. Dinner was the left overs from last night, ashamed to say that after 40 years in the kitchen this recipe only takes one line and a few fonts.
Couple pounds of ground sirloin, a can each drained of peas and corn, another one of Rotel, chopped onions, garlic and cilantro… cook, you are done. I will be re-posting some of the older recipes from the “recipe” section that has disappeared. They will be from now on found in parallel with the Blog titles in the Archives.
The first few photos were taken between Lincoln and Capitan passed Albuquerque, a part of New Mexico that surprised me by it’s appearance. I started thinking afterwards… what appearance? What does New Mexico should look like? I really did not know, and I feel in love with that area I would like to go back to and visit again taking much more time. Here the sun is harsh, daytime photos do not make justice to this Valley, I should feel better in a couple days, amazing the bad photos one can take when a bit down… mind over matter? or was it the other way around?
Till next time, be well… always.
Twenty nine months of Photography is finally in order on SmugMug… In “Your Favorites”, in “States”, some labeled “first year” and second year”, now also “Texas the third year”. Feel free to browse, you can even use the slide show mode and have fun. Merchandise is also available through SmugMug. If you like to order prints, all sizes are available as I store the originals myself considering the huge bandwidth needed to upload them on the Galleries.
Maybe your reading the Blog is worth $1 a month…
Ara & Spirit