Our first foggy morning on the "Oasis"…
I wish I could elaborate on "romance", "true love" as I hope many have found when using the word "heart", but it is not so. This is about the physical aspect of my own heart. I guess the Dr was right just a few days ago wanting me to undergo many tests. My body decided to get a head start and welcomed me instead with some real trouble early morning. I have a solid background in heart problems! I am a pro in that matter. Many heart attacks throughout my 30’s and early 40’s, not truly pronounced till I was 45, finally undergoing true tests as Dr’s realized that this was beyond an ulcer, but a true "the big one" as they call it. Ironically I was sailing about 30 miles off shore when it happened, in the company of a Friend that had no clue what even a boat was. Karma was good that night, the water was like glass and the full moon lead us back to shore, after cutting off the two expensive anchors I had deployed. But who cared at the time! Small loss compared to saving my Life.
Two uncomfortable years later, at 47, I underwent 5 bypasses. The good Dr wanted to label it "6" but ran short of time. I use to smoke and that of course went out of the window. "Fright" was a strong sentiment throughout those times, very strong. The years went on, Lance got sick and seven years ago cigarettes became again my Friends… "good Friends" as the Dr told me just a few days ago with a frown. But sometimes one does not care so much about themselves, not much else to loose when all has already been lost but one’s self. The peaks and the valleys, it is all part of our daily Life.
Spirit, always air born and showing off! Always looking at me… or is it the camera?
A couple days ago, after, what I know now again, my "last cigarette", that same icy wave that starts at the toes and slowly cripes up the body made its presence. That is when the circulation slows down to a crawl, major traffic tie up at its best. As I thought this could truly be the end, I said good bye to Spirit, stood up and waited. There is no phone call that would have helped me at that time. But again, as I am still here to write about it, Karma spared me my going away and changed my path. The icy wave stopped at my waist and slowly diminished leaving me short breathed and, as I knew at the time, with a tremendous high blood pressure.
This was the right time for a phone call now! A phone so newly installed as I thought and thanked my Helper to have waited for it. I cannot imagine what would have happened without it. I called my Friends and neighbors, Voni and Paul, to find out if they would drive me to Alpine, 60 miles away and harbor my buddy! She had a better idea and called the local Ambulance from Terlingua. Paul came and gave me a ride to the road where Voni was waiting and where shortly after the Ambulance showed up… just like in the Movies… how embarrassing.
Above photos courtesy of Paul!…
I was not feeling so good… not at all. Blood pressure up over 170/130… much anxiety… but the awesome present team had it all under control. Tubes, beeping’s, shots, alarms, siren, I don’t remember much of it but I do know that the ride was smooth and my hand was held with comfort the whole way. Randy was the driver… the best one they had as I sure hoped so. He is also the karaoke man at the local establishments and I am the one that cooked his steak last year every Tuesday when I worked. That might have been worth something! The Hospital? well… they brought it all under control but, with such limited knowledge of their Dr’s, there has not been any conclusion and I am waiting for a call to get on with the Cardiologist and find a path that will allow me to resume again a normal and healthier Life.
I knew this day would come. The signs have been present for a while, cigarettes, hand rolled as I smoked, or commercial, well, they only knocked me out most of the time and I sure do miss them now specially in such instances after a meal or with my morning coffee. It is gum now! Much gum and more gum… One day at the time. I doubt it very much I will ever go back to them as even now my coffee does not seem to be agreeing much anymore! This is a good time to finally change some of those habits, whatever the excuses have been which undoubtedly were good ones, much needed ones. It all depends on the fact of how do I want to now live!… Spirit needs me as much as I need him. I started thinking how unhappy he would make me if he started smoking! Never thought about it that way before…
Yesterday was also ironically the celebration of "The Day of the Dead". I did want to be part of it as a I figured I would be either way. Not quite in the mood for some rig riding, I caught a ride with Voni and Paul who where driving, and left Spirit behind for the couple hours we were gone. It is an odd celebration, specially for me. Again a couple days ago I realized how fragile Life is and walking around last evening, throughout this ancient cemetery, I was thinking… one minute we are up and the next we are down. This Journey has made me witness such diligent work taking millions of years and still in progress, and as I read the tombstones realizing we are only here for such short time comparatively speaking… the bottom line is, it brings up so many thoughts about so many aspects of our own Life.
It was a fine evening taking some photos as best as I could. The food was abundant and darkness fell rapidly but comfortable enough for one T shirt. We will be going to Alpine tomorrow, moving the "White Elephant" in front of my Friend’s house as right now I don’t feel very smart being so far away from it all, specially from a Hospital. Calls have been made, I am getting set up with a great local Cardiologist and I am sure that soon some answers will trickle down toward the path of "Good Health".
There is more about the "Day of the Dead" and one of my favorite recipes… will save it for next time. It is rest time!
Just another Day at "The Oasis"? Not really…
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Be well, always. Ara & Spirit